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Joined: Mar 2017
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Pax, it is normal and rational to want to look at these from a point of fairness and balance. He will never be able to do this. Whatever the trial costs, it does not matter. Your guy cannot mediate. You will never settle with him.

Judges split babies. You need to up your request to end up where you should be. I'm delighted his attorney acknowledged the bird feeder and copper windmill are community property, which hasn't been resolved. Guess what, so is everything you "left" behind in the house. Add it all up, all of it on a spreadsheet and be ready to submit it at court. I bet your lawyer could send a demand to inspect the premises (a flavor of a request for production) so you can go and make a list and take pics. Do you want the stuff? No, do you want an offset for the value of the stuff-- YES! Go after half of every single thing he has, because he is going to do the same to you and more.

Why did he take down the bird feeder? Because were your positions reversed he would have taken it, so he expects that you would do the same. Pettiness, yes. But again, this says who he is as a person. Not you. Laugh about it, move on.

I'll wager you may have the same problem with the judge when it comes to the dog. Mediators are there for petty squabbles. That he wouldn't undertake that suggests that the court might not either (not that I'm implying this is a petty squabble, but it speaks volumes that he thought he was above it). Be ready. Emotionally prepare yourself that the dog could be awarded to either of you, or split time with no guidance (which is my biggest concern for you).

I would tell him one more time, I don't have your beanie, I have not seen it. Do not waste my time with it again.

No one questions why you didn't take the stuff. We all survived a tsunami and had to fight to survive. Remember though, at the end of the day, it is just stuff. Memories and relationships are the things that matter. While I hope you get your stuff, try not to put too much of yourself in an outcome you can't control.

Take some time now to relax and move past this part. Get ready by making yourself emotionally tough. Get back in the gym, whatever makes you feel like a warrior.

Joined: Jan 2000
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You can request a "home" visit and have someone there with you so that it can be stated that you didn't walk out the door with stuff, while you are making a list and taking photos. You are entitled to half of everything, as OwnIt has stated. If you don't want the stuff, then come up w/a dollar amount of what it is worth and he can provide you with the cash or deduct it from what you are paying him, etc.

Oh, yeah, I can relate to what OwnIt stated about him taking the bird house down because he thought you would take it. My xh did the same thing w/an older pickup truck. He came and got it while I was at work and I asked why he took it since it had been sitting there for months on end. His response, "I knew you would hide it from me so that I couldn't take it". He's projecting on to you what he would do himself. He's not the man you knew a long time ago.

He needs to look for that d@mn beanie where he's living. Truth be told, he may have tossed the thing out and has forgotten about it.

You are going to have to get stronger and more firmer. Go after what is rightfully yours and if you don't want the stuff, figure out a value on the items, make a list and state what you want in cash. After all, he will do the same thing to you.

New Thread:

Divorce and Acceptance part 5

Last edited by job; 12/15/19 04:38 PM. Reason: added link to new thread

Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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