First, I am sorry. This is painful but it will pass. Not today or tomorrow but it will. Pain and grief are important, they mark the passing of something important.
It would have been a 180 for you to show some emotion but don't revisit that, you'll have other opportunities.
Does your W look happy and carefree? This isn't easy for her and it indicates how unhappy she was to have to go through this. Yes, I know, she could have tried harder but I'll bet if I asked her she'd say, I tried everything.
Would you have been happy to stay in your M a it was until death do you part?
Have you read any of the women's threads around here? Many could have been WASs (me included) but stuck it out hoping things would change.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss