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Re: More Nuggets of Widsom from the Veterans! [Re: Jamesjohn] #999155
04/03/07 07:15 PM
04/03/07 07:15 PM
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 8,334
The GREAT Pacific Northwest
Jamesjohn Offline OP
Moderator
Jamesjohn  Offline OP
Moderator
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 8,334
The GREAT Pacific Northwest
From DB Coach Laurie

*****************************************************

During this difficult time, you may get many opinions (from your attorney, family, friends, us, etc...) which can really get confusing. So, please remind yourself what your R goals are first of all. What do you want to see happen between you and your W that is realistic and a bit hopeful during these next few weeks? (Possible example: I would like my W to be less angry with me.)

Then, once you remind yourself of that, ask yourself what kind of behaviors you can show that would HELP move your R forward with your W? (Example: I want my W to be less angry toward me and it seems that my being around her, calling her, asking her to dinner, etc., gets her hostility up, therefore, I need to have a lot less contact, possibly no contact at all and will not pursue asking her to dinner, movies, etc., with her at all for the next two weeks.)

Is your goal D or is it improving your R? Those most likely are two different goals and will determine two different sets of behaviors from you, I believe. So, please decide which goal you are striving for first and that will determine what you should do, OK?
_________________________
Laurie Divorce Busting Relationship Coach


JJ

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Re: More Nuggets of Widsom from the Veterans! [Re: Jamesjohn] #2100692
11/04/10 04:35 AM
11/04/10 04:35 AM
Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 4,757
Hawai'i
Tia Offline
Member
Tia  Offline
Member
Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 4,757
Hawai'i
^

Re: More Nuggets of Widsom from the Veterans! [Re: Tia] #2482590
08/28/14 03:23 AM
08/28/14 03:23 AM
Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 839
Divorce Busting Center USA
Virginia Offline
Member
Virginia  Offline
Member
Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 839
Divorce Busting Center USA
.


Virginia Peeples
Assistant to Michele Weiner-Davis
The Divorce Busting Center

Transform your marriage with a private session with Michele Weiner-Davis.
Email virginia@divorcebusting.com or 303-444-7004.
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