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#75865 02/22/01 03:07 PM
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Michele Offline OP
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Here's some absolutely great advice from Greg. Thanks, Greg.
********************************
Do you feel like you can't go on? Like your world is nothing without your spouse?
Well... YOUR FEELINGS ARE DECEIVING YOU. You can go on, and you can have a great life without your spouse.

After marriage, you both come to rely on one another for many things; love, confidence, security, and many other physical, psychological, and material needs.

But, how did you survive on your own before you were married? Could you survive on your own before you were married? Are you surviving on your own now? Legitimate questions here folks.

Marriage requires a certain amount of co-dependency from each spouse as noted above. Here's the kicker: You have to learn to be independent before you can successfully be co-dependent. This is not a one-way street either, both spouses must learn to fend for themselves.

Giving your walkaway forgiveness, time, and space to develop or recapture their sense of self-worth (the soul?) and individualism is the BEST thing you can do for your troubled relationship.

And You. You need to build/maintain your own unique individualism, and be comfortable on your own before your walkaway spouse will see you in a positive light. These positive changes are what manifest into major doubts for the walkaway spouse as to whether or not they are doing the right thing by leaving you. The right thing meaning, the right thing for THEM. After all, this really is about them.

Worrying, begging, pleading, obsessing, negativity, and the list goes on, are all extremely counterproductive to your efforts. These are traits of a person who depends on other people to make them happy and get them through life. Do you want to live the rest of your life with a person who acts in these ways? Well, your walkaway spouse doesn't either. The truth is, other people can't MAKE you happy, they can only make you happier than you already are. True happiness comes from you and only you.

So, is this crisis in your life really a crisis, or an opportunity for personal growth in disguise?

People, please take care of yourselves FIRST. It will do incredible things for you and your relationship.

Peace.

G



The Divorce Buster
#75866 03/25/01 11:54 PM
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#75870 11/19/01 02:20 AM
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The Divorce Buster
#75871 02/02/02 02:24 AM
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~~**~~


Michele Weiner-Davis
The Divorce Busting Center

Transform your marriage with a private 2-day intensive with Michele Weiner-Davis. http://www.themarriageintensive.com
Email michele@divorcebusting.com
#75872 03/12/02 04:19 AM
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