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A Message from Michele
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Surviving a MLC #75786
05/15/00 01:25 PM
05/15/00 01:25 PM
Joined: Jan 1999
Posts: 3,315
Boulder, Colorado USA
Michele Offline OP
Member
Michele  Offline OP
Member
Joined: Jan 1999
Posts: 3,315
Boulder, Colorado USA
Hi gang! Another marriage saved! This one is from Jenny. She has great advice for you all.

*********************************************Last year at this time I was an emotional wreck! I remember so well waiting to see if I would get a card from my H that had any words of affection.Of course there wasn't! I shed many tears that day.

However,here I am a year later and my H is "in love" with me again and can't stop telling me or showing me!

Last Mother's Day,my H informed me,again,(it had started in Feb.)how miserable he was and how he needed to leave of us.(married 16 yrs&two children)

He told me he did not love me and never had loved me.That"I" was his problem and he wanted to find happiness and passion without me.(possible EA and MLC issues).

Well, I am here to tell you that DBing works and you CAN save your marriage BY YOURSELF, if you really want to put forth the time,effort and PATIENCE that it will take.

You must follow Michele's advice...please read her books.Her approach works!

MY suggestions:

Don't PUSH your Hs into therapy w you!

DON"T insist on talks about your relationship.

Don't pry and become obsessed with EAs or OW.

WORK ON YOURSELF!

Actions speak louder than words.Change YOUR behavior and attitudes NOW!The only peson you have ANY control over in this world is YOU!!!!

Men HATE relationship talks and if they resist therapy,go by yourself!

DON"T PURSUE YOUR H...lovingly DISTANCE!

I am so happy with my H's "recovery" and our wonderful NEW marriage.I feel like I am on my honeymoon again after 17 years.I have no anger or unresolved feelings,now that my H is surrounding me w such love.I have grown so much over the past year and have much success in many areas to show for it.You see,I was was unhappy,too,just in denial over the dismal shape of my marriage.I don't appreciate the way that my H rocked my world,but I am better for it in many ways.

I see no need to live in the past,as the present is wonderful. I have "moved on".

All the "talk" in the world cannot create the profound changes that the behavioral approach of DBing does so effectively.

CONCENTRATE YOUR EFFORTS ON DBING!

This is a message of love and hope for all of you and of of deep gratitude to Michele and my DB companions who have given my the stamina to keep at it when I wanted to quit.

Have a wonderful weekend...Jenny

BTW,I am a therapist in the mental health field.I had to set aside many of my own preconceived notions and professional training to use the DBing approach.

[This message has been edited by Michele (edited 05-15-2000).]



The Divorce Buster
Re: Surviving a MLC #75787
02/15/01 07:36 AM
02/15/01 07:36 AM
Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 4,757
Hawai'i
Tia Offline
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Tia  Offline
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Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 4,757
Hawai'i
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Re: Surviving a MLC #75788
05/28/01 01:35 AM
05/28/01 01:35 AM
Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 4,757
Hawai'i
Tia Offline
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Tia  Offline
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Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 4,757
Hawai'i
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Re: Surviving a MLC #75789
06/30/01 10:26 PM
06/30/01 10:26 PM
Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 4,757
Hawai'i
Tia Offline
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Tia  Offline
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Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 4,757
Hawai'i
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Re: Surviving a MLC #75790
09/24/01 03:14 PM
09/24/01 03:14 PM
Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 4,757
Hawai'i
Tia Offline
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Tia  Offline
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Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 4,757
Hawai'i
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Re: Surviving a MLC #75791
11/19/01 02:11 AM
11/19/01 02:11 AM
Joined: Jan 1999
Posts: 3,315
Boulder, Colorado USA
Michele Offline OP
Member
Michele  Offline OP
Member
Joined: Jan 1999
Posts: 3,315
Boulder, Colorado USA
^


The Divorce Buster
Re: Surviving a MLC #75792
01/19/03 03:14 PM
01/19/03 03:14 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 10,805
sgctxok Offline
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 10,805
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sg
Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
Re: Surviving a MLC #75793
02/28/05 04:04 PM
02/28/05 04:04 PM
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 8,334
The GREAT Pacific Northwest
Jamesjohn Offline
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Jamesjohn  Offline
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 8,334
The GREAT Pacific Northwest
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JJ

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