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#71620 08/08/00 03:45 AM
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Kansha Offline OP
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I found the key to detachment!!!!!!
It isnt about detaching at all. Its about shifting your focus. The book to read is: Excuse Me, Your Life is Waiting. By lynn grabhorn.
I read most of the chapters and was trying to do the following and some pretty amazing things were happening. But it was really hard to do it all the time (look at what weve been dealing with ). In the last chapter she breaks it down and the key is having a flip-switch. See the following. Ive been doing this for 5 days and every time I think about my life with H or anything that doesn't feel good, I think and feel my self-appreciation word (see explanation below). You know how when you smile, your endorphins kick in and you feel a little bit better. You have to find that place. So when you are flip-switching you also try to FEEL something from the positive vibration list. One I use that always kicks in is my dog wagging his tail at me trying to get me to let him in. It always makes me feel happy. But for most of us its hard to go there (that happy feeling)(lets face it we are not happy about our spouses behavior) even when we want to, so hence, the FLIP SWITCH This is NOT positive thinking but positive feeling and it is not affirmations or meditation either.
Feel free to ask me questions about this. It will help you!!! Absolutely!!! But go out and RUN do not walk to get this book and read it cover to cover. Its in the metaphysical section but youll probably have to get them to order it.

Thoughts that cause one to be on a Low Vibrational Frequency:

Resentment
Judgment
Criticism
Anger
Doubt
Frustration
Mild concern
Stress
Worry
I cant
I wont
Loneliness
Guilt (you get the picture)

Thoughts that cause one to be on a High-Vibrational Frequency:

Appreciation
Gratitude
Humor
Enthusiasm
Reverence
Awe
Generosity
Love
Delight
Pleasure
Exhilaration

How to find a flip- switch to switch from a low frequency to a high frequency:

Pick a different word or phrase of self- appreciation each day and whenever you are thinking/feeling on a low Vibrational realm, think your self -appreciation word or phrase for that day. This is the key to get yourself on a high Vibrational level, to pull the things that you want to you. This is the flip switch. Practice for 30 days with 30 different self appreciational words/ phrases. Stick with the same one for the entire day. All of a sudden your always feeling good and lots of good stuff starts happening. I would tell you some of the amazing stuff that has happened to me but Im sure that would give me away. Though just telling you this will surely give me away. But for you all who are so courageous and true it is worth it. I'm the one who stopped posting cause I was really down. Now things are starting to look up and I have had no conversations with H about anything.
kansha



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Tia Offline
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FABULOUS!! Yeap, you've found it! Nice going. Detaching is indeed a challenge. I've added "your" book to my repretoire. I'll recommend this to others. Thanks, Kansha.
/Tia

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Kansha-
I've ordered the book. It sounds great!!!



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Kansha

I am happy for your discovery. At some point in time, whether it's a book we read, a converstaion with a friend, or whatever, a light goes off inside and we say, I've found it. The truth is, it's always been there, we have just not been able to see it. Each one of us become awakened in our own time frame.

The truth is we create our own reality. The only things we have control over, are our thoughts, feelings and choices we make. We need to be responsible for our choices. Our choices create our reality. What ever we think, is what we become. It all starts with thoughts. If your not happy with how things are, change your thinking.

You have listed a number of negative thoughts and a number of positive thoughts. Our thoughts lead to our feelings. If we don't like what we are feeling, change our thoughts.

Our mind is thinking millions of thoughts consciously and subconsciously, from dealing with the function of our body and it's systems, and the external environment it finds itself in.

Trying to focus our thoughts on positive things is critical to being happy and feeling good about ourselves. The choice is ours. How we talk to ourselves in our inner conversation with ourselves, leads directly to how we feel about ourselves.

God has given us everything we need to be happy, successful and have a fulfilling life.
We need to have the awareness that it all is within each of us. We just need to look there.

Paul



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Kansha Offline OP
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Hello my Friends: Detachment is the one thing (besides developing patience) that has been a big challenge for all of us(well most of us) here and happens to be most important to succeeding on our chosen paths. I consider myself to be a very optimistic, spiritual(I have complete faith in God) positive thinking person. But we all have our underlying fears, worries, doubts, stops, etc. This is NOT about positve THINKING but about positive FEELING. I know that God has given me a great gift in this journey that we are all sharing and it is an opportunity to grow and become closer to God. But believe me when my PMA started to fall, many times it would take a tumble and I would go for a walk. Think positively, Count my blessings etc. I still went down into that spiral of why is he doing this? Why can't he see all the pain he is causing me and the children? How can he destroy our family this way? Why? Why? WHY? I've been doing this exercise and when ever any doubt, fear, anger, sadness, anything that is considered a low vibrational level. I just FEEL my "self appreciation word" (Today it was "I'm silly") until I feel eace or joy or anything on the positive vibrational level. I'm practically unflappable. This is only the beginning of creating life that you want effortlessly. I don't know how to express to you the extrodinary value of this book if you read it from cover to cover and practice it. Carey got it! Country Gal got it! Tia got it. Everyone here diserves to have what they want. Paul is right we do create our own reality. The author of this book says it like this: "All we have to do is learn to flow our energy differently, for nothing-NOTHING- affects our experience except how we flow our energy. NOTHING!"
The author of this book does not know me and she is not paying me anything to tell you to go out and buy her book. And for a lot of us it's stuf we already know. But this book is a road map over very bumpy road going 90 miles an hour and lovin' it. So many of us are working so hard to keep that PMA up and doing a good job. But truthfully it's not hard to keep the PFA(positve feeling attitude) up once you get the hang of it. Everyone on this sight is so inspiring and amazing already. This book is my gift to them. If I had the money I send one to every one. Kansha

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Kansha,

I haven't posted on this forum before. I really am not piecing anything together right now - he is still out there in space land. But, I have been trying desperately to make positive changes within myself & make them consistent.

What you are describing sounds interesting. Can you give a few more examples of those 'self-appreciation words'? I am struggling w/ something right now, and am aware that I have to change my attitude (or something about me), as I can't change what he is doing right now. He is hurting me & I can really identify w/ what you were saying about why can't he see he is causing me all this pain...really hits home, that's exactly what I have been sitting here thinking. All while knowing that I have to do something different.

I am up past my bedtime because something upsetting happened. He might give me a call after I get off line, & I have to have a positive frame of mind in order to speak w/ him w/o doing more damage. I will try what you have suggested right now, and try to get some sleep which I badly need.

Thank you for sharing this with us. I'll let you know how it works.

Melanie


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Kansha Offline OP
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Melanie: Please feel free to E-mail me at: going4sainthood@hotmail.com (I know pretentious )
I really recommend you go out and order this book. I will try to help you do the exercise but it is only the beginning and the author gives a lot of background cause it's really about switching your vibrational level. The self-appreciation word is to help you flip from negative to positive. Some of my words have been: "I'm loving", "I'm funny","I'm passionate". As soon as I notice I'm am thinking or feeling something like worry or resentment,concern or any low vibrational feeling I automatically say my word or phrase and then I try to feel my word or phrase. To do that you have to get in touch with something that just by thinking about it it puts you in feel good mode. I might think of my daughter's incredible smile or my dog like I said above. experiment. I'm here to support you. Good luck!!! My prayers are with you. Kansha

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Kansha,

Very Good Stuff.

Why don't you write it up real clean in word processing. Then go to Advice from Wise DB'ers, perhaps title it"Sad 2 Happy in 60 Secs", whatever, and paste it into a new post.

It can help a lot of people.

Tom


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Kansha

Another idea on what you are saying is, change how you talk to yourself.

Simply our "Self Talk"
During our thoughts, (thinking) we carry on a inner conversation with ourselves. Whether we choose to talk negative self talk or positive self talk will lead to how we feel.

A friend of mine told me years ago, when ever he started thinking negative thoughts, he would tell himself to, "turn the chanell"

We control what we think, therefore we can control how we feel.

Shifting our energy from negative to positive is done by our thinking. Thoughts are energy.
Everything is connected by energy, the whole Universe. We are all connected to each other, and everything in the universe. We all have one creator. We all are one.

Have you ever felt that someone on this board is thinking just like you at the same time, because they have posted exactly what you were thinking? How is that possible?
Ideas and thoughts flow through us through energy. Energy flows through each and everyone of us. Does it not flow through us at the same time?

What it takes is "conscious awareness" that this is so. As we evolve and become more consciously aware, we understand how everything is about energy, and how we are all connected.

You have raised your own level of "conscious awareness" by understanding what the author was saying in the book about vibrant feelings.

Through this site, and individuals like you, who share newfound sources of information, we are all evolving to a higher level at a much faster pace than we would have other wise.

I want to thank you for bringing to our awareness, this great book that can be of help to others.

I would love to chat with you sometime to hear about your life journey.

Paul



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Kansha Offline OP
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Thank you! To those of you who have checked out this topic. I know I've pratically harrassed everyone into checking it out .
So a big THANK YOU!! I know if you read this book and do as it says you'll understand why I've been so insistent.

TomM: I will definately do that thanks for your wise input!


Paul: I would love to chat with you. Please feel free to e-mail me (check my reply above, to MJR for address)(That goes for anyone here) I haven't posted much of my story because I didn't want to be recognized. I would love for you to read this book and I would love to discuss it with you. I have been a student of Physics,Spirituality, Manifesting etc. Since about 1982. I've even done work sucessfully, in this field. A lot of stuff that she writes about in this book is not new. But she breaks it down into nuts and bolts so that those of us who are on this path of "conscious awareness" can fine tune our approach, as well as for those of us who are at different places on this road can begin to shift their energies. No matter where we are there is always more to go.

So perhaps we are really saying the same thing, I'm not sure I agree with you on which really comes first though: thinking or feeling? But I'm pretty sure now that it is FEELING that makes the difference in managing that energy. So telling someone to think positivly doesn't usually erase the underlying feeling hence PMA doesn't always rise.

Let's talk! Your friend, Kansha


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