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Haven't seen JJs wisdom on going dark. Point me there. We aren't legally separated and haven't bothered to work out any formal visitation schedule. I bascially let her come and go as she pleases. She has been here every weekend but one since she left so she hasn't really 'missed' the kids enough to ask to see them w/o me there. We still get along quite well, go places together, sleep together (though that is winding down). I guess I am just waiting for her to come to her senses (my opinion). Can she be trusted with them? Absolutely. She is not as loving a mother as I would like and is sometimes inattentive but she does love them. A condition of her wanting this sep was that she goes and the kids stay. She agreed and said I was the better parent anyway. She is giving me the typical "I love you but not IN love with you" speech. We married when she was 19 so I understand where she is coming from. No oat sowing time. Patience right?
I took the road less traveled.....now where the heck am I?
this original post reminds me of the poem IF by Rudyard Kipling:
If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you, If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you But make allowance for their doubting too, If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or being lied about, don't deal in lies, Or being hated, don't give way to hating, And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise: If you can dream--and not make dreams your master, If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim; If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster And treat those two impostors just the same; If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools: If you can make one heap of all your winnings And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss, And lose, and start again at your beginnings And never breath a word about your loss; If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew To serve your turn long after they are gone, And so hold on when there is nothing in you Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!" If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch, If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you; If all men count with you, but none too much, If you can fill the unforgiving minute With sixty seconds' worth of distance run, Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it, And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!
C2H, I gotta agree. I'm struggling with this, but have days that i really make it happen. I feel better and my W has said that she is "growing more fond of me". This seems to happen when i'm really working on my self and finding i am in control of MY happiness. Tim