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#2945547 05/13/23 08:16 PM
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M:52 W: 51
T:27 M:25
D26 S24 S21 D20
BD:2022
Rockon #2945551 05/14/23 12:00 AM
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Here’s my honest feed back.

You are incapable of dropping the rope. You don’t seem to have taken the time to learn what DB actually is. You can read the book but you either don’t understand or will not…take it in.

Your MIL was just being polite. Period point blank. If she wanted you to help she’d ask you herself without you offering. If she had questions about her grand child’s needs she’d ask her daughter. I’m also not quite sure why she’d need support from you and for what.

It’s perfectly normal for couples who’ve split to not go to their in laws….like ever.

No Rock, you’re going to offer to go every single chance you get until you learn their schedules and run into your wife as often as possible because you won’t help yourself. I truly believe that’s what you’d do right now.

Obviously I’m on team do not reach out.

I’m glad you had a nice day with the kids.


Me: 40
EX:37
Together 17 years
Married 16 years
5 kids, 20,18,15,14,11

BD 03/06/20, divorced 12/23/21
Rockon #2945552 05/14/23 12:53 AM
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Thanks Joseph sounds good- working on it


M:52 W: 51
T:27 M:25
D26 S24 S21 D20
BD:2022
Rockon #2945553 05/14/23 06:23 AM
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So the person that I am trying not to post about dropped S off here at home after he had been with MIL and she came in for a brief visit. She commented on the work I’ve been doing on our home. Nothing much to validate but I said I’m enjoying it - thanks for bringing S home - I’m about to head out. D and S were making dinner plans together and I went out to meet friends.

I think it sounds like D and S will be taking W out for a lunch picnic tomorrow or something. I will be celebrating with my mom and my family. I don’t think eldest S will be joining in the festivities for W. I spent some time with him earlier this week and he was pretty hot in his distaste for his mom. I validated his feelings without bad-mouthing W.


M:52 W: 51
T:27 M:25
D26 S24 S21 D20
BD:2022
Rockon #2945554 05/14/23 11:46 AM
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Well at this point I won’t bother asking if you knew she’d be the one dropping off your son.


Why were you home when she did? Why did you let her come in for a visit? Did she notice all the stuff done or did you point it out?

It doesn’t matter what your kids plans are for Mother’s Day with her. It has nothing to do with you.


Me: 40
EX:37
Together 17 years
Married 16 years
5 kids, 20,18,15,14,11

BD 03/06/20, divorced 12/23/21
Rockon #2945556 05/14/23 02:46 PM
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Yes their plans with her have to do with their relationships with their mom and I’m not making them happen nor blocking. I did not know she was going to drop him off. She walked in with him. She commented on progress on the house I didn’t tell her about it. I was friendly and happy and STFU (I forgot to mention this) as she briefly shared some of her ideas about my relationship with our kids (she said I need to give them space).


M:52 W: 51
T:27 M:25
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BD:2022
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Rockon #2945565 05/15/23 02:09 AM
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Had a great day! Breakfast and church with S and D. Then I went and celebrated my mom with siblings and my dad in the park. It was perfect. Came home worked in the garden and got a good sweat on. Eldest S came home and cracked me a cold one.

Smile 😎 life is good,


M:52 W: 51
T:27 M:25
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Rockon #2945568 05/15/23 04:51 AM
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Can you tell me what’s wrong with this. what feedback that you received from this forum supports this BS. Please find one sentence in a 180 that supports this. Seriously go find something. I bet you can’t.

Originally Posted by Rockon
She walked in… She commented on….. she briefly shared some of her ideas…. she said I need to….

How are you growing your tomatoes. Do you prune them. What do you feed them. Has the weather affected them this year. I run mine up 7 ft steaks. I do the same with my peppers except the steaks are just 2 feet. until the peppers get to a certain height then put small tomato cages around them. This year I’m going to use cattle panels for my cucumbers. I cut one 8ft by 50” panel in half and made an A frame out of them. I’ll have 2 plants on each side growing up to the top. Then I can pick the cucumbers underneath. Need to make sure I pick them on time this year. Last year I waited too long and ended up with bitter cucumbers. I have a new aren for potatoes. These are one of my garden favorites plus poisonous to rabbits so I don’t have to worry about putting a fence around them. My spinach and sweet peas are coming in great. Go on and on about this kind of stuff instead of telling us, your wife walked into your house for the hundredth time after getting advice from this form you should change your locks hundred times


M:51 W:43
T:17 M:15
S:13 D11
10/2022 BD/IHS
03/2023 W moves out
Rockon #2945569 05/15/23 05:44 AM
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Just said good night to kids. Was a good day. I’m on track


M:52 W: 51
T:27 M:25
D26 S24 S21 D20
BD:2022
Rockon #2945570 05/15/23 08:16 AM
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I apologise in advance… but I’m Australian, and Australians aren’t generally aren’t considered very subtle. I feel I have to be honest here.

Quote
Thanks Joseph sounds good- working on it

This reply to Joseph’s well thought out and challenging post tells me one of two things:

1. Either you completely lack the ability to look inside when people point things out, or
2. You’re actually a fake poster who is taking the piss at our expense

In the short time you’ve been here, you’ve made an incredibly high number of posts. Hundreds and hundreds of posts about how you’re “working on it” and “taking it on board” and “moving forward”. But you’ve done no such thing. You seem to suck people into your sitch, seek out affirmation that you’re the good guy here, but then when the going gets tough and you get a few 2x4’s about your DBing, you just say something completely dismissive like “thanks, working on it.”

While you’re getting sympathy or congratulations on your hard work, you engage and tell us at every turn about being a good person, a great Dad and being some sort of calm, collected DBing boss. But when someone pulls you up on obvious errors, mistakes or your continual addiction to contact with your ex, you completely ignore it.

You aren’t DBing. You have come here to seek guidance on what to do to trick your wife back in. You only take advice you like, and totally ignore anything hard or confronting.

On the one hand, your ex is confronting you about possible stalking and we were begging you to dial back the contact to prevent a restraining order. Now six weeks later - you’re letting her in your house.

I don’t speak for the board obviously, but I feel like I’ve wasted a lot of time - time that I could have been helping other people.

I wish you all the best Rock, I really do, but I’m going to take my advice and time elsewhere rather than bang my head on a brick wall. I really doubt this website can help you.

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