Thank you. I look at detachment slightly differently - she no longer occupies my head and does not live there rent free. Yes, occasionally she pops up in the head, but so does my previous exes.
At first, I came here for emotional support. Now, I come here to tell about my journey and seek advice on how to better myself. Once she said no on the walk, I did not feel disappointed where as before I would be sad about it. For me, this is detachment. Her decisions not affecting my emotional well-being.
Maybe I am wrong.
I guess she will see my appearance changes through my social media as she continues to watch every single piece of content I put on the web.
I am in a strange place right now. Even if I want to be emphatic and justify her actions, I believe that it would be too toxic to continue this marriage. On another side, it's strange to realize that this marriage coming to an end so soon.
What made you realize that you have fully detached/moved on?
What made you realize that you have fully detached/moved on?
"One day, you wake up and realize that you haven't thought about it at all."-Mike-Better Call Saul
As time goes by, we detach more and more. It comes and goes. I still have triggers. This site does bring up things for me, and I get to process them through thinking and responding.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
What made you realize that you have fully detached/moved on?
"One day, you wake up and realize that you haven't thought about it at all."-Mike-Better Call Saul
As time goes by, we detach more and more. It comes and goes. I still have triggers. This site does bring up things for me, and I get to process them through thinking and responding.
Thanks, I had another fun night yesterday with friends. I definitely have days were I have not thought about it all, but then surges of small emotions comes back sometimes.
Being detached isn’t a definitive line in the sand, where you can suddenly say you’ve done it.
It’s a slow, gradual process. You’ll never be completely without this person. They’re part of your history.
I knew I was detached when I began to feel sorry for my ex. At that point, I knew that none of her dumb decisions and outcomes were my problem. I could simultaneously feel sad for the complete train wreck of her life and future, but happily walk with my kids in the complete opposite direction.
Being detached isn’t a definitive line in the sand, where you can suddenly say you’ve done it.
It’s a slow, gradual process. You’ll never be completely without this person. They’re part of your history.
I knew I was detached when I began to feel sorry for my ex. At that point, I knew that none of her dumb decisions and outcomes were my problem. I could simultaneously feel sad for the complete train wreck of her life and future, but happily walk with my kids in the complete opposite direction.
Interesting What do you consider dumb decisions?
We had another discussion yesterday with STBXW. Nothing has changed, she has no feelings, wants to quit asap and feels that she was not herself for the entire stint of our relationship. Basically, she is done and nothing will change that. She even said herself that she knew how much marriage & family meant to me and still decided to quit as "we never had a chance". Hearing these words no longer hurts as much as before. I only wish she would have pulled the plug before the wedding.
I have to continue my own path and move on. I heard a beautiful line lately:
It's about become the right person, not finding one. Hopefully I can take my lessons from this, become better and create a true loving family.
I actually wanted to take a moment and thank you all for being there for me. Even thought, I am not doing DB'ing 100% right and sometimes not fully following the advice, I truly get lots of inspiration from this forum and everyone who helped me.
I would have definitely been in a worse state if it were not for everyone who supported me in this forum.
Please continue to challenge me and allow me to become the right person. Sending hugs and my deepest thank you to everyone!
I have killed it at work lately and significantly deepened my connection with friends and family as a result of this. I am planning to go on several big trips this summer to fully reset myself. Hopefully this will allow me to minimise the contact with W and enjoy the summer.
TMS, with that attitude you're going to be fine no matter what the outcome!! You've got this.
Thank you! This is so appreciated!
I met with several friends today (two different meetings), it boosted my emotional state a lot. I am so grateful to have all people around me and everyone here support me.
As my friend said today: "you attract the people you deserve". I have not felt as alive as today in a while!
Even after having fun time with my friends, I still managed to close the day with some fun play with my dog!
Amaziiing weekend! Met with 2 different friends on Friday, had an absolute blast discussing life, business and our passions! Walked 20km with friends on Saturday. Finally spent the whole day today alone with my dog, just running, playing around near the river, while the sun was shining. It was great! I had this one moment, my dog is running back to me, sun is shining and you know that you are living the life.
I had this one moment, my dog is running back to me, sun is shining and you know that you are living the life.
I love it!
Life provides feedback. A karmic handshake with us. Positive and forgiving begets same. We truly are the artisan of our reality and, to an extent, our destiny.
Keep walking the path TMS.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
What do you consider dumb decisions?