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Andrew, you have many strengths to play up in your dating profile. You like cooking, you love your cat, you own your home and are financially responsible, you’re a reader and have an intellectual bent, and you like doing weekend activities that many women enjoy such as going to craft fairs. Highlight all of those things in your profile and you will likely be attractive to the right kind of woman for you.

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Personal growth is always a good thing. You don’t need to change who you inherently are to appeal to women.

What isn’t going to happen though is the universe dropping things into your path. Sometimes you have to make stuff happen. Change things up a bit. Take up a new hobby. Freshen up the wardrobe. Shake up your routine a bit. Be a less predictable to yourself perhaps.

And I will be honest, but focus back onto your health! As a middle aged woman myself, I pay good attention to that when dating. For me, it’s important to me that a guy sees the doctor regularly and not only when they are sick. That they have a good level of daily activity. It’s because I can see what kind of “responsibility” a partner can become when they don’t take a serious effort in their modifiable risk factors for health.

Everyone gets in a rut. It doesn’t mean they have to change who they are. It just means sometimes they have to take some initiative do things differently.

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Originally Posted by Andrew
If I was looking to attract someone who is only interested in the superficial, perhaps that would be the way to go. I have no interest in becoming someone I'm not.
You know as well as most here I haven't had any trouble in the past finding matches. I get that to attract the opposite sex some temporarily lose weight (the self-shaming yo-yo cycling diet pattern) or go from visiting the gym a couple of times per week to a daily habit. I believe in self-acceptance and the confidence that comes with it, knowing our bodies at most sizes can be just right for someone, being vulnerable enough to put on our profile what's quirky and unique about us

Somewhere out there is a lady who values an engineering mind (sapiosexual) or is an avid reader of sci-fi/fantasy like Discworld, or enjoys writing as much as you seem to. And if your profile doesn't get weekly hits from the get-go, you know how process improvement works and will take the necessary steps to test and tweak it until you succeed.

Regarding the New Year, it is a great opportunity to think about what changes we'd like to make. As with Sandi's rules, the best changes are the smallest ones we can commit to, the ones we're making for ourselves.

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Originally Posted by LH19
Looks like I hit a nerve

Dang, you're not kidding! Andrew has not even logged-in in nearly 2 weeks! And I see the last guy to post here, Traveler, is banned again? I swear we need a dashboard or scorecard or something to keep lately.

Although Sunday is almost here so maybe we'll get an Andrew update.


DonH
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Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06
4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
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Originally Posted by DonH
Originally Posted by LH19
Looks like I hit a nerve

Dang, you're not kidding! Andrew has not even logged-in in nearly 2 weeks! And I see the last guy to post here, Traveler, is banned again? I swear we need a dashboard or scorecard or something to keep lately.

Although Sunday is almost here so maybe we'll get an Andrew update.
Yeah Andy typically hides for awhile when challenged but this is a long time for him.

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Yes, it has been a long time for Andrew....but he may very well be on vacation. I'm sure he'll pop in very soon.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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Hello? Everything okay, Andrew?

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