Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 1 of 11 1 2 3 10 11
#2942315 01/17/23 12:56 AM
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 6,826
Likes: 156
G
Ginger1 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
G
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 6,826
Likes: 156
Of course, yet again debated starting a thread, but I wanted to address those who took the time out to give feedback.

1st, physical appearance is NOT my kryptonite. A bonus, sure, but good looks has never been what has caused me to overlook things. My kryptonite is someone who actually does spend time with me. If you make time for me, I tend to give more of a chance.

Yes, he kind of stinks at communication. I am currently deciding if this works for me. It’s early on, I’m learning him and vice versa. I could kick him to the curb right this moment for sure. But why? No need. Still getting to know each other.

Yes, he texted me this morning saying “I guess you are taking this the ball is in my court for communication seriously?” I told him on Friday I would no longer initiate texting. I told him I absolutely am taking it seriously. He wanted to have lunch together today. He thought I was off, which I am not, I literally had one holiday off this year, lol. I’m a nurse . Anyways he said “I know you may not believe this, but I miss you” we are keeping our date we had made for Wednesday.

He is into me. I do know this. And he’s not an avoidant either. But I do think he has some level of ADD. Not an alcoholic, no other women as far as I know.

Time will tell. That’s all I know. I don’t need to tell him to take a walk yet. So, let’s see what happens Wednesday night



Previous thread:

https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2941538

Last edited by DnJ; 01/17/23 01:32 AM. Reason: Added link to previous thread.
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 6,826
Likes: 156
G
Ginger1 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
G
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 6,826
Likes: 156
…. And on a ME note, my right hip has been in excruciating pain. Both always are sore and stiff unless I’m really moving, but I can’t even sleep my right hip hurts so bad. I decided to make an orthopedic appt and I had to get X-rays before hand. Apparently I have mild bilateral degenerative joint disease of the hip.

I feel soooooo old. Still won’t stop me from my hard hard workouts. It’s probably the only time they aren’t in that much pain. But after? OMG, it hurts so bad. I just can’t stop my exercise. It keeps me sane.

I’m fortunate to have smooth skin. No, wrinkles and look young. ( humble vain brag). I look strong and healthy from the outside, but lord help me, I hurt on the inside !!!!

Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,913
Likes: 316
K
kml Offline
Member
Offline
Member
K
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,913
Likes: 316
Quote
Still won’t stop me from my hard hard workouts.

Should cause you to rethink your exercise program to something lower impact though.

1 member likes this: job
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,265
Likes: 58
D
Member
Offline
Member
D
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,265
Likes: 58
Originally Posted by Ginger1
physical appearance is NOT my kryptonite… My kryptonite is someone who actually does spend time with me.

I could kick him to the curb right this moment for sure. But why? No need. Still getting to know each other.

Time will tell. That’s all I know. I don’t need to tell him to take a walk yet.

I can’t disagree with any of this. I might add your Kryptonite is also someone you pays you attention. But I also agree there is no reason to stop now. I just wish you could be not so focused on it all. Really, truly honestly be like, “started dating someone, way too early to tell, I see some red flags but who knows. I’ll know in a month or two.” That’s where I’d be. Heck that’s where I’ve been several times in the second half of last year. But that’s just not you.

I see many write “it’s a marathon not a sprint”. Problem is you want to run the sprints. It’s no sin but it tends to complicate things. It’s okay not to know where things are headed, especially in the first few months.


DonH
Midwest
Me 56
WAW-EXW 55
Met 11/95 / Married 5/00
Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06
4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
1 member likes this: Mach40
Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 649
Likes: 18
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 649
Likes: 18
Originally Posted by Ginger1
…. And on a ME note, my right hip has been in excruciating pain. Both always are sore and stiff unless I’m really moving, but I can’t even sleep my right hip hurts so bad. I decided to make an orthopedic appt and I had to get X-rays before hand. Apparently I have mild bilateral degenerative joint disease of the hip.
First step was get a softer mattress. Learn to sleep on back, if you can..
The pain will not go away unless addressed medically. Trust me..
I say this, because if you are already strong due to work outs, and your muscles are holding the skeletal up well, than the injury is the soft tissue, and it doesnt rebuild that well as you get older.
But, seek Medical attention, as I am not a nurse or doctor, just a patient..


Sitting at a Table for One.
DonH #2942344 01/17/23 06:26 PM
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 6,119
Likes: 408
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 6,119
Likes: 408
Originally Posted by DonH
Originally Posted by Ginger1
physical appearance is NOT my kryptonite… My kryptonite is someone who actually does spend time with me.

I could kick him to the curb right this moment for sure. But why? No need. Still getting to know each other.

Time will tell. That’s all I know. I don’t need to tell him to take a walk yet.

I can’t disagree with any of this. I might add your Kryptonite is also someone you pays you attention. But I also agree there is no reason to stop now. I just wish you could be not so focused on it all. Really, truly honestly be like, “started dating someone, way too early to tell, I see some red flags but who knows. I’ll know in a month or two.” That’s where I’d be. Heck that’s where I’ve been several times in the second half of last year. But that’s just not you.

I see many write “it’s a marathon not a sprint”. Problem is you want to run the sprints. It’s no sin but it tends to complicate things. It’s okay not to know where things are headed, especially in the first few months.
and this is where I differ from both of you - life's too short to waste time on people who throw up red flags this early in the game. it's like a bus, next...


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 6,826
Likes: 156
G
Ginger1 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
G
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 6,826
Likes: 156
I’m definitely not trying to sprint. What for? I don’t have a biological clock anymore, lol. It’s broken.


I could run away at the first sight of “red” flags, but to me they are yellow when I factor them in to other things. I’m also not inventing tons of time and energy. Tomorrow night we are doing bar trivia at one of my favorite spots. So, if it doesn’t work out, it’s not wasted time to me. I actually got to go to trivia and drink $5 beers. I don’t consider that time wasted.

It’s not the biggest thing going on in my life now.
I’m just living. Working, parenting, trying to fit some fun in when I can .
I definitely stopped doing all high impact exercise for a while. With bad feet, one bad knee and these achy hips, jumping and running is NOT for me anymore. Functional strength training is where it’s at. Building muscle and getting my cardio all in one. And I do my exercise bike, because that’s easy on the joints. I’m going to look into some real CBD I hear it helps with the arthritis pain a lot.

Also, I think I might actually be getting sick ( haven’t been sick in years) achy, tired, feeling feverish. I thought it was exhaustion, but I still feel that way today. So i guess I may not have a date tomorrow.

I’m a big ole baby when I get sick

Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 6,119
Likes: 408
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 6,119
Likes: 408
to me it's not running away. to me a red flag is just that, a signal to stop, pay attention and act accordingly. i'm not wasting time on red flags.


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
1 member likes this: Mach40
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 6,826
Likes: 156
G
Ginger1 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
G
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 6,826
Likes: 156
Originally Posted by bttrfly
to me it's not running away. to me a red flag is just that, a signal to stop, pay attention and act accordingly. i'm not wasting time on red flags.

Makes sense. That’s why I don’t classify all flags as red or green. There is a yellow category for me. Sometimes I need to understand or know the person a little better to throw a flag into the red or green zone.

I have been super quick at calling at red flags red or green flags green when they were actually the opposite.

Now, there are glaringly red flags I will walk away from immediately.

And for me, of course I have a bigger picture than what has been written here, it’s yellow flags for me. His green flags are more than his yellow right now. And nothing is red to me.

We all have different views of what is red, green, or yellow for us

Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 6,119
Likes: 408
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 6,119
Likes: 408
you know best in your situation.

what you've described here I would classify as red flags.

I have low tolerance for people who make dates and don't keep them. They don't get a chance to do so twice with me.

Flaking on a phone call --- I might give a second chance, depending on circumstance, but not a third.

But, that's just me.


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
Page 1 of 11 1 2 3 10 11

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard