Children and Boundarys? 2

[BL42]

Mach40,

Why do you think it's self centered?

Our divorce was amicable.
I think it is self centered because she doesnt deserve a cold shoulder, attitude due to me not wanting to see her. I say that, because I wont be the guy I was, which was full of banter, laughing with her and carrying on normal conversations. I will be distant.

Even if the D was amicable there are still going to be hurt feelings, jealously, doubts...etc. If you have to protect yourself emotionally a bit at first that's completely understandable. My guess is it'll get easier over time.

This thing with the neighbor, is it a friendship or the building of a relationship?

Lady and I are doing well. I cant afford to get sick, do to my career.. So, we are just doing non physical stuff for now. We are flirting, touching etc, and building up. I think once this cold is completely gone, we will go further faster....

Have you kissed yet? Passionately? I share LH's question (and maybe concern) that this is starting to seem platonic. Make sure to escalate and be direct if you're looking for more.

We are both foodies and travelers, so we have been talking about doing things together that involves both. Really liking her.

Shared interests are good.

Oh, and she has a Masters in business, and a forensic degree ( hard field to get into, she tried, didnt work out).

Uh oh, Masters degree? Red flag Mach40! ;-)

[LH19]

Hey, No, I dont think that she will rethink the decision. Not the point. I dont want her back. But, I dont want to be a jerk to her.

Who said you had to be a jerk to her? I just asked why you can't go have fun?

I still have a relationship with the girls, her daughters. Over time, life events will always bring us back in the same arena.

For sure.

Cant hold a grudge, act like I never knew her.

Who said you had to?

Eventually I have to be comfortable around her and accept her/our decision to move forward without faking it. If that makes sense.

Do you think she is faking it too?

Lady and I are doing well. I cant afford to get sick, do to my career.. So, we are just doing non physical stuff for now. We are flirting, touching etc, and building up. I think once this cold is completely gone, we will go further faster....
We are both foodies and travelers, so we have been talking about doing things together that involves both.

Interesting. Travel plans and you have yet to kiss. Maybe I have it all wrong?

[bttrfly]

Oh, and she has a Masters in business, and a forensic degree ( hard field to get into, she tried, didnt work out).

Uh oh, Masters degree? Red flag Mach40! ;-)

was going to say the same thing, BL

[DonH]

Lady and I are doing well. I cant afford to get sick, do to my career.. So, we are just doing non physical stuff for now. We are flirting, touching etc, and building up. I think once this cold is completely gone, we will go further faster....
We are both foodies and travelers, so we have been talking about doing things together that involves both.

Interesting. Travel plans and you have yet to kiss. Maybe I have it all wrong?

I dunno LH I share your concern on this. This has travel buddy written all over it. Women and some men need to have some PT to spark the flame. If things go too far without it they get in the friend vibe and it’s hard to get out. This cough thing is just a convenient excuse to not take the risk. She may already be thinking you just see her as a buddy. There is no need to rush but after multiple “dates” and even plans for the future, not even an actual kiss may be giving her the wrong signal and is doing nothing to get her motor running or juices flowing for a romantic relationship. A romantic kiss at this point is in no way taking things too fast. I can’t see any reason not to and only concerns to wait - unless you are thinking she’s not interested. Just what I see and have experienced.

[Ginger1]

I thought he did kiss her?

I understand not swapping spit if she’s sick though

[Mach40]

I thought he did kiss her?

I understand not swapping spit if she’s sick though

I did.
I think the problem here is people, men mostly, feel I need to be having sexual relations with her already.
Thats fine.. I get it.
And, as an excuse, the cough/cold/flu issue is being cast as an excuse. I work in a career field where, if I am sick, I dont work. I dont get paid.. Last time this happened, I could not go to Australia, and it cost me 12,500 in one month.. Thats important to me.
Her career, is private tutoring. Neither one of us can afford to be sick.
Once we get better, I will get busy with her, and explain in detail how things went.. I feel it, and I know she feels it. The sexual banter is fun.
So, not aimed at you Ginger, flame on.
You all have to understand, this site has truly turned me around. I have read so much. It is great to have someone post here and there.
But the similarities among other people throughout the years is incredible. People seem to be creatures of habit..

[kml]

Nothing wrong with a little delayed gratification. When I first started talking to CMM online, he had to wait a few weeks before we could meet because I was super busy and traveling out of town for a medical conference. I think the delay really ratcheted up his interest even though I wasn’t trying to play hard to get. I just wasn’t available at that moment.

[BL42]

Mach40,

I think the problem here is people, men mostly, feel I need to be having sexual relations with her already.

No one's saying there's a a firm requirement to have had sex already. What we are saying is that if you continue to stay platonic over time there will reach a point where the relationship is establish as a friendship and not romantic. So be aware of that.

Once we get better, I will get busy with her, and explain in detail how things went.. I feel it, and I know she feels it. The sexual banter is fun.

If you're feeling the romantic / sexual dynamic than you know better than us - you're living it, not us.

But the similarities among other people throughout the years is incredible. People seem to be creatures of habit..

Not sure what you're referring to here?

[Mach40]

Mach40,

But the similarities among other people throughout the years is incredible. People seem to be creatures of habit..

Not sure what you're referring to here?

I was referring to general relationships, and how there are patterns on how people go through their relationships.

[DonH]

I thought he did kiss her?

I understand not swapping spit if she’s sick though

I did.

ON THE CHEEK!!!!!!!
If I remember correctly.

No one's saying there's a a firm requirement to have had sex already. What we are saying is that if you continue to stay platonic over time there will reach a point where the relationship is establish as a friendship and not romantic. So be aware of that.

EXACTLY!!!!!!!

As for the germs the only way to totally avoid getting sick and missing work is by living in a bubble. Sick or not your risk of catching anything goes up with physical contact. There is a bug going around with a lingering cough for weeks past the contagious period. The woman I took on the cruise has been coughing all week. Will see if I catch anything or not. Everyone gets sick now and then. It’s called life.