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Originally Posted by Dawn70
Everyone has to move at the pace they feel good about and not everyone wants to rush to the lightning round.
So a kiss after 3 dates is considered lightning round?

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Originally Posted by LH19
Originally Posted by Dawn70
Everyone has to move at the pace they feel good about and not everyone wants to rush to the lightning round.
So a kiss after 3 dates is considered lightning round?

Maybe, maybe not….depends on the individuals involved, which was my overall point. Everyone has their own pace and you can’t gauge your own pace against someone else’s. All these “rules” about kissing by 2nd date, sex after 3rd, are just guidelines but not necessarily hard and fast rules that one has to live by. I don’t care at what speed people choose to move because that is their personal choice, but people need to examine themselves and make those choices for themselves, not based on rules or books or how society says it should be or whatever. I’m a big advocate of do your own thing on your own time. If that is sex on the first, so be it. If it is no kiss til date 6, more power to you.

And to specifically respond, lest someone say I skirted the question, for me personally, I wouldn’t be terribly interested in kissing for several dates. I’m a hugger so I would not necessarily pass up a hug on the first date (and yes I find it sweet if they actually ask first before just grabbing and squeezing). My first kiss with Sparky was date 3, which happened to be my birthday. Everyone is different. I also wouldn’t friend zone someone if I did want a kiss but they didn’t go for it. As a grown a$$ woman, if I want a kiss and he’s not moving, I’ll either give the green light or ask and then if he’s not feeling it, hopefully he’d say that.


Me 52, H53
Bomb drop 9/29/2014
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
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Interesting - this thread has me trying to remember when first kisses happened with my dates - and honestly, it's kinda hard to remember!

Obviously, with the couple of guys that I slept with on a first date (after a relatively long prologue of communication by phone calls and messaging, mind you) the kissing happened on the first date. With CMM, we met first for a coffee date, no kissing etc there, but I believe he did kiss me at the end of our second encounter, which was a real dinner date. I got to wondering whether I ever kissed a guy first, but I think it has always been just mutual or at the guy's initiating. (I have asked guys out first though). Being from the boomer generation, I would start to think it was kinda weird if a guy hadn't kissed me by the third date. However, I think I'm good at showing that I'm interested and available for that kiss. YMMV

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(And I don't ever remember it being awkward unless I was on a date with someone I really didn't like - a situation I generally manage to avoid.)

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So is there a poll going as to when I will do something with this lady?
When she or I initiate anything, well, thats when it will happen. But, I am pretty sure this weekend will be good, as we are doing dinner at her house, and an old movie ( we were getting nostalgic on movies the other day).


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just enjoy your time together and let it evolve naturally


M 20+ T25+
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D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
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Originally Posted by bttrfly
just enjoy your time together and let it evolve naturally

Exactly!


Me 52, H53
Bomb drop 9/29/2014
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
6 grandkids
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So Mach I will ask the question. Do you want to kiss her? If the answer is no than ok. If the answer is yes than the question becomes why have you not tried? Didn't feel right? Wasn't sure if she was open to one? Didn't feel safe? If it is number one ok. If it is number two and can give you some signs she is interested in being kissed. If it is number three ask CW lol.

Personally I go into a date looking for attraction, good conversation and a good kiss. Unless of course I am in Canada then it's go time lol.

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"Well East coast girls are hip
I really dig those styles they wear
And the Southern girls with the way they talk
They knock me out when I'm down there

The Mid-West farmer's daughters really make you feel alright
And the Northern girls with the way they kiss
They keep their boyfriends warm at night"


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
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Originally Posted by bttrfly
"Well East coast girls are hip
I really dig those styles they wear
And the Southern girls with the way they talk
They knock me out when I'm down there

The Mid-West farmer's daughters really make you feel alright
And the Northern girls with the way they kiss
They keep their boyfriends warm at night"

On a semi-related yet totally unrelated note, I realized during my ESL class Monday night that I’m teaching people to speak English with a southern drawl. Lol For the record, a good southern drawl gets my attention every time and I live in the south so I hear them all the time. Can’t beat a good southern accent!


Me 52, H53
Bomb drop 9/29/2014
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
6 grandkids
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