In other words I’m not comfortable elaborating on here. Safe to say encountering a lot of pressure and stress in our family. WW is certainly contributing to that but she is also undergoing stress as well.
Rockon, my "I gotta go/run" statements to ex get easier and easier. Stay strong. If its getting easier for me, you are far further ahead than I was in your sitch timeframe, it will be sooner than you expect. An epiphany will hit and the cloud cover will go away and the sun will shine down, easy peasy.
Rockon, one of the traps we LBSs fall into is convincing ourselves of things that are not true. This gives an excuse to not practice good DBing. Most of us here did that early on our situations. Instinct and doing what comes intuitively will almost always be the wrong thing to do. So BL is dead on, likely what you have convinced yourself couldn't wait, probably could have waited. The worlds wouldn't have crumbled, the sky wouldn't have fallen if it had.
One thing that helped me once i got through the initial pain of the situation was to always weigh what I wanted or felt compelled to do, against whether or not it was a good DBing tactic. Didn't mean I always did the best thing from a DBing standpoint, but at least I knew I was breaking good DBing practice by doing it. And it did prevent me from doing things that would set me back most of the time.
Anyway, just something to consider.
Last edited by SteveLW; 12/14/2201:04 PM.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
M40 it doesn’t feel like it that much but I believe you at least in part. It’s hard for me to imagine getting there sometimes.
I know its hard, but something will click eventually. I know I was a blithering idiot waiting for texts, emails, calls, responses' from all of them too. No matter what I tried to do to get her back, talk to her, etc etc did not work. She was done with me.. Then LH and many other started making me think differently. Its hard, but it works. It hurts too. Especially holidays. But, time is the best cure with sound advice, of which many with years of experience are giving you here.
So W and I will both be spending time with D and granddaughter at the holidays including some overlapping time together. I’m really looking forward to being Dad and grampa and having great times celebrating. I am intending on not interfering with W’s time with them it’s not a competition. And while it’s not my responsibility to make her relationship with them, I can follow through on my hopes that they have positive relationships.
Just curious Rock what this overlap looks like? You know what would make your W second guess her choices. You throwing an amazing holiday party that she is the only one not attending.
