Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 3 of 8 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 536
T
Tarheel Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 536
Originally Posted by LH19
Can you write out the last text exchange?

To be honest this sounds like a typical WW situation where too much resentment has been built up and you got the ILYBINILWY speech.

Our last text (Fri) was just coordinating a time to talk. We had the call Thurs where she said no, then she text the next day asking if she could call me saying she had a few things to say (ended up just to apologize for getting upset with me/raising her voice during Thurs call). Haven't text/spoke since then.



Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 9,309
Likes: 283
R
Member
Offline
Member
R
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 9,309
Likes: 283
Originally Posted by kml
WTH??? No, do NOT date other women if you want to win her back. Absolutely not.
Did I miss that they are committed to each other?


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 9,227
Likes: 309
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 9,227
Likes: 309
Originally Posted by Tarheel
Originally Posted by LH19
Can you write out the last text exchange?

To be honest this sounds like a typical WW situation where too much resentment has been built up and you got the ILYBINILWY speech.

Our last text (Fri) was just coordinating a time to talk. We had the call Thurs where she said no, then she text the next day asking if she could call me saying she had a few things to say (ended up just to apologize for getting upset with me/raising her voice during Thurs call). Haven't text/spoke since then.
Ok. So that's good she apologized. She knows where you stand. The ball is in her court. You can do the texting thing and check in from time to time letting her know you are available while she dates other men. Or you can go silent and have her wonder what you are up to and wait for her to reach out. You will than accept nothing less than a meet up date. Scarcity creates value. The choice is yours.

Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 9,309
Likes: 283
R
Member
Offline
Member
R
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 9,309
Likes: 283
Originally Posted by Tarheel
The challenge is ...proving to her that my change of heart is true and her getting over the fact that I didn't feel this way previously.
Correct. The best way is in person so she can see it in your eyes, with your facial expressions, body language ect....


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Joined: Jul 2020
Posts: 1,760
Likes: 193
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Jul 2020
Posts: 1,760
Likes: 193
Originally Posted by Ready2Change
Ask her out to dinner. Do all the preplanning, just like a first date. "Are you free on Oct 15th around 7PM? I would love to have dinner with you at SoandSo restaurant."
Originally Posted by LH19
You will than accept nothing less than a meet up date.
Guys...they live 8hrs away from each other. They can't just agree to meet up at some wine bar tomorrow night.


Me:39 Ex-W:37
M:7 T: 9
S:6 D:3
BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20
OM1 affair ends: May '20
W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20
W files for D: Jul20
OM2 confirmed: 9/2020
Divorced: May '21
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 9,227
Likes: 309
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 9,227
Likes: 309
Originally Posted by BL42
Guys...they live 8hrs away from each other. They can't just agree to meet up at some wine bar tomorrow night.
Who says it has to be tomorrow night? I am trying to keep him from friend zoning himself.

Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 536
T
Tarheel Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 536
Originally Posted by LH19
Originally Posted by BL42
Guys...they live 8hrs away from each other. They can't just agree to meet up at some wine bar tomorrow night.
Who says it has to be tomorrow night? I am trying to keep him from friend zoning himself.


I guess my ideal scenario would be if she responds to my text about the parade and we can maintain some level of communication up until her bday (19th), I could ask if I could take her to bday dinner that weekend. A long way to go til then, but might be the 1st in person opportunity outside of surprising her at the parade Sat morning (that's a joke btw). On our last call, she asked about my start date for a new job (originally tomorrow but this morning it was pushed to next week). Curious to see if she'll reach out to wish me luck tonight or see how the 1st day went tomorrow.



Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 9,309
Likes: 283
R
Member
Offline
Member
R
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 9,309
Likes: 283
I said two weeks out (on a Saturday).


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Joined: Jul 2020
Posts: 1,760
Likes: 193
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Jul 2020
Posts: 1,760
Likes: 193
Originally Posted by LH19
Originally Posted by BL42
Guys...they live 8hrs away from each other. They can't just agree to meet up at some wine bar tomorrow night.
Who says it has to be tomorrow night? I am trying to keep him from friend zoning himself.
I agree w/avoiding the friend zone. Just saying due to the extreme distance it's likely some phone or video discussions would happen first, as opposed to a quick date plan in person.

Tarheel - I would strongly recommend against the grand gestures of reversing the vasectomy and/or selling your house to "show her how committed you are". Imo it's more likely you'd move there to find out she's been dating someone for 2 months than a Hollywood reunion & happy ending. You dated a long time and she knows what you mean to each other. She's either going to find someone else or get frustrated with the dating pool and reach back out. I think it's even likely you haven't heard the last of her. But I lean more towards LH and R2C in the move on and scarcity creates value vs. the kml and Traveler wooing her with gestures approach.


Me:39 Ex-W:37
M:7 T: 9
S:6 D:3
BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20
OM1 affair ends: May '20
W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20
W files for D: Jul20
OM2 confirmed: 9/2020
Divorced: May '21
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 9,309
Likes: 283
R
Member
Offline
Member
R
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 9,309
Likes: 283
Originally Posted by Tarheel
...we can maintain some level of communication up until....
There are better "tactics" to "win" her back.

Obviously you know her better than we do, but from the research I have done, talking and texting gets you into the "friend zone" quicker. You are also now competing with at least one other dude. Your only goal is to set an in person meetup.


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Page 3 of 8 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard