Thanks, kml. Sounds like it's a Canada thing. Makes sense since I never heard of it before!
Andrew, I also have a fixed interest rate. I wouldn't want to gamble with that market. Great news that you're able to contribute more to your payment and pay that mortgage off sooner than later!
Nice to read you can shorten your mortgage by six years. That is a far bit of interest to not have to pay. Yay!
I never ballooned the payments. I could apply yearly on the anniversary of the mortgage up to 10% of the loaned amount. A 10% paid directly to the principle. I did that for a few years, and when I was in between terms I dumped a bunch more on to it.
Like you I’m rather conservative and always took a closed mortgage with a fixed interest rate. I like knowing how bad things are. Lol. And knowing they ain’t going to get worse for x amount of time.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
I was a bit startled when he called me on his birthday as I was driving home to take me up on my offer of dinner out. We went to a lovely pub just outside the town he lives in and had a great visit. It's a place I've occasionally thought about checking out and they recently have new owners. If I ever do date again, it would be a great spot to go I think.
He had opened his present which was a hand-forged kitchen tool and said that he quite liked it although he appreciated it more as a locally produced piece of art with some practical use as opposed to something he'll use a lot. Which is my attitude about the nearly identical one I got for myself at the same time.
From some of the things he's said, it seems that he's maintaining connections with his relatives on his mother's side of the family which is good. I think both of my kids have done well in "not taking sides" which I'm sure is tough in most situations. The fact that he chose me to celebrate his birthday with was flattering in some ways but also unsurprising. His mother was never someone who was keen on making a fuss over such things as birthdays where it is important to me to do so.
No mention of course of his mother or her life. I can only assume that she's going about her life and doing her thing.
I caught him up on the happenings in his sister's life. Surprisingly she had called me the day before and we had a lovely chat. We'd not been talking much in recent times. With the time difference and her busy life I've never been sure when would be appropriate to call. So the last two calls have been her calling me which is a nice switch-around as historically it was only me initiating the contact.
Things are going well for her too and in a funny note, she will also be learning how to drive a forklift soon for her job so both of my kids now will have a skill I've always wanted. The guys in the plant have made it clear that among many things there, that forklift driving is also not one of the things that I'm to be trained on.
I did get down to the corporate office on Tuesday and had a challenging meeting with the sales management team from our other division. Beyond the technical challenges of actually getting the equipment to work for the meeting, the lack of an agenda or any sort of focus made for a rambling and only slightly productive event. They seemed fairly satisfied as was the Director who is technically in charge of this project but I wasn't.
After we had our "team-building" exercise which was a boat cruise around the harbour. It was very nice to see so many people I've not seen in years and to catch up. There was some talk about my bow tie ending up floating in the harbour as I didn't bring any clothes with me to change in to. I did meet some of our new staff including the new controller who I had been hoping would be someone who would shake things up a bit but after meeting him, I don't see that as part of his personality.
I'm starting on a week's vacation where I'm hoping to get some of the outside work done on the house in preparation for winter There is a fair bit of exterior painting to be done along with some rot in a couple of window frames that needs to be addressed. I also hope to finally finish the re-engineering of my garage door this weekend. That's been a task that has been stressing me out because I am rather "winging it" with only a vague outline of how it should work and have had to re-evaluate things a few times and redo when one approach or another proved to just plain not work.
In other "news", it looks like I'll have to get a new furnace which is annoying. My existing furnace, despite being about 30 years old is working perfectly fine, but my oil tank is coming up on expiry - or depending on how you read the regulation - it's already expired. AND the company that's been servicing it is getting out of that business and there are very few companies who still service oil furnaces. So most likely I'll get a new propane furnace in the spring which is an expense I'll have to put into the budget and do some research. There's talk about natural gas being brought into the village but that's at least a year or more away. I have a backup servicing company but have no worries about the furnace I have getting me through the winter as it has been properly cleaned and tuned.
Sigh - it just never ends with an old house but I wouldn't have it any other way. This is "home". I laughed to myself thinking on how a house can reflect it's inhabitants. Older, slightly run down appearance and "make do" but everything still works fine. I'm proud of my home and how I care for it.
When I was married, my then wife had a serious issue of what FlyLady calls CHAOS. Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome so we rarely if ever entertained. Given who this place was when a real hoarder lived here, looking back it wasn't "that bad" but certainly more cluttered and less clean than it is now. Mind you, there's a big difference in a home with 4 people including 2 children, 3 cats and a dog vs a bachelor with natural tidy habits with only his middle-aged rescue cat for company. I certainly would have no worries about opening my door to a visitor and offering them a cup of tea.
Originally Posted by Traveler
Glad things with "C" are.. progressing?!
"C" certainly seems to be circling around. Even though it never went anywhere when we actually dated briefly about 3 years or so ago, she remains someone who I quite like. Are we compatible? No clue and I'm not worrying about it. We both like tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches as comfort food.
I'm not worrying about it too much although it is something that is on my mind. If she can ever manage to get divorced from her lawyer STBX (been over 5 years and lots of legal fees) then she can make her own choices about things. As can I. I'm certainly not putting my life on hold waiting. I'm still not sure about if I will be willing to open myself up to others again.
Well - tea pot is just about empty so time to get on with my day.
Hasta manana amigos
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
I feel fortunate to have lived several places as an adult that felt like “home”. The sunny two bedroom apartment within walking distance of beach, bay and shopping when I was a medical student. The tiny cottage that was the first home my ex and I bought and labored over remodeling. The modest but comfortable 50’s ranch house with ocean views that my ex and I lovingly remodeled and raised our kids in. And the two story 30 year old tract house with vaulted ceilings and a great floor plan that I currently own, although it needs some minor repairs and updating.
This may or may not be my last home. It’s perfect for sharing with my son and occasionally other family members, but if it were only me, I might downsize to something easier to clean and maintain. Who knows. Right now it suits me well.
I find that a few cherished belongings can make any space “home”.
Happy National Bow Tie Day for those that are celebrating.
Thought I'd wander by and write out an update of the adventures being had in the Land of P.
Finishing off my week of vacation - back to the plant tomorrow. I think they've gotten the new tank for one of our raw materials installed - that should make things a bit easier. The existing tank was a bit small. The product we make out of that goes in to water treatment plants and that side of the business is doing fairly well lately.
Only a couple of calls from the plant while I was off. There were some questions on the regulations around one of our chemicals and the plant camera surveillance system failed. The first I will have to double check on tomorrow as there are some open questions and for the second, I managed to duck-tape the plant camera system into my personal one and then gave the control room access to their own cameras via my personal security server. Not something I was happy doing and I'm sure our IT team wouldn't be thrilled either, but seems to have worked as a temporary measure. Our IT team doesn't really pay much attention to our little plant even though we generate 50%+ of the net revenue for the company. I had requested that they investigate and repair but other than acknowledging the help ticket, no response, no follow-up. Sigh.
I didn't get any chance to go anywhere or "do" anything as on my first day off a neighbour of mine came over to see me. He's the local "handyman" and was following up on some jobs I'd asked him to do back in the spring. When he found I was off, he said that he would come over and start working on them because I would be around to help. So - I was around all week to help.
He's maybe about 6-7 years older than I am and has a number of health issues including heart arrhythmia that made it hard to go up the stairs in the house. This is beyond him nearly cutting his own arm off not too long ago when he was working alone. A reminder of one of the big risks in living alone as well.
Part of his routine was to come over at 7:30 (so I couldn't sleep in) and we'd share a cup of tea and chat. I was also expected to make tea for him mid morning. Not really an issue for me, but perhaps a bit odd. While he worked on the various projects, I'd putter away on paperwork and my own projects.
He's a long standing bachelor and it was interesting to hear from him how "the other half" lives. He has had some relationships in the past including one that lasted for several years but in many ways doesn't want to be bothered. He has a fairly cynical attitude towards to fairer sex which these days I can somewhat understand.
There's a number of families and I also think widows around that he regularly drops in for a visit and cup of coffee.
In some ways I was a bit surprised about some glimpses into his day-to-day life. By his own admission he doesn't bother cleaning up his house much "a bit of dust doesn't bother me". He doesn't own laundry machines so takes his clothes "in to town" to the laundromat there. He doesn't really cook but uses pre-prepared meals for the most part and also gets fed by the aforementioned families / widows.
I honestly don't know if this fairly stereo-typical life he leads is actually typical for bachelors. Maybe it's a function of his upbringing in that he never took any interest in "housework" or not. I do believe that my own interests in cooking and cleaning yadda yadda is considered odd by at least some of my friends and neighbours.
Nice guy. He did pretty good work here and takes a lot of pride in it. Both spare bedrooms are now patched and primed and I also finally have a railing on my balcony that is substantial and to code. The latter was definitely a 2-man job and I held the ends of boards and passed him tools as necessary. He never gave me an estimate and I have no idea on what the bill will be but expect it to be modest. I had the money saved up for what I thought it would cost in the spring so don't expect it to be an issue. He only really worked here 1/2 days before he got tired and would head home too so even the labour costs won't be too much.
I also got a couple of my own projects taken care of. The re-engineering and rebuilding of the garage door changing it to a folding door is complete and I'm pretty happy with the results. There was also a section of rot in one of the window-sills that I patched properly. A surprising amount of rot was dug out.
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In other news the older lady who lives in the duplex next door has had a cancer diagnosis according to her daughter. By the sounds of how widely spread it is, she might not have long left. She's rarely out and about (she's in her 90s) but always has a friendly word when we see each other. I expect that her daughter who owns the duplex will turn her mom's side into a rental. Sad but not really a shock. I've been worried about her especially after she had a big fall last winter.
Continuing on the local gossip, yet another cousin of mine with the same name is getting divorced. That will make three of us - I do hope that our name isn't cursed. I think he's living in the travel-trailer parked next to his auto-repair shop which probably technically isn't legal but I doubt anyone will make much of a fuss about it. Although they may - can't know.
Even though was are cousins in the same village with the same name, our paths don't cross all that much. He's a decent enough guy and he and his wife have been together for probably well over 20 years. Second marriage for her I know, not sure about him. When I go in to the pharmacy or see the doctor, I'm always careful to point out that I'm the "older, better looking one" because we go the same places and having the same name can be a problem. When I was married, both wives agreed that I was indeed the "older, better looking one"
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I'm thinking that in the next week or so I might reach out to "C" to see if she's interested in dinner. Our last "date" was back in March or April I think. She lives more or less in the same geography as the plant so it's more convenient when I'm down there. She probably won't be available until next week at the earliest because I know she's usually putting in extra hours at month-end for her own job.
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I'll be out and about shortly to have my bi-weekly brunch with my son and then later this afternoon out to the old family farm to have dinner with my youngest brother and his family. It's more than a bit weird to be out on a Sunday night - in my head I kept trying to figure out how / when to do my Sunday baking and stage things before reminding myself that someone else is cooking. We're not an especially tight-knit family - I think the last time I was out there for dinner was when I was still married - so 7 years ago. Between visits I'll try to slap some paint on the window-sill.
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On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
So this is interesting for a particular value of not interesting ...
Someone asked me recently if my xW and OM had broken up. Seems she'd been seen walking around hand in hand with someone else. Could have been a case of mistaken identity - or not. I'll occasionally see someone where I need to do a double-take on because they kind-of looked like her. Short, middle-aged, chubby women seem to be fairly common in my part of the world.
I replied that I had no clue on her relationship status other than having seen both vehicles at her house in recent times and that it was none of my concern.
I also was told that she had been going on and on about how badly I had scr3w3d her over in the settlement although from what I gather that was some time ago in the news. I doubt she's changed her mind though.
I also heard another rumour that the liquor store she used to work at has been sold and it's expected that all of the staff will get the sack as it is a family that has bought it. As far as I know, she's not worked there in some time though.
Given my memories on how she would bring her anger about things home, I'm sure that things are all peaceful and harmonious .... If the rumour about her and OM got to me, I'm sure that it's gotten around fairly widely. And she did so actively hate anyone talking about her.
19 more payments to go ...
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Andrew, when people bring up your exw to you, do you also add after the none of your concern a strong boundary like, "I don't entertain conversation about my exwife, for future reference."
???
Because you seem to get far more information than most, and don't seem to put a plug in that jug whenever she's brought up.
It's natural to wonder, but I wonder what it does for you to not set that stronger limit with people who bring her up?
Re: what she said about the divorce settlement. I believe it's important to remember that what others say about us is really none of our business. The people who know and love you know the truth. No one else really matters, do they?
$.02
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
Because you seem to get far more information than most, and don't seem to put a plug in that jug whenever she's brought up.
??? This is the first thing I've heard in a long time - literally years - and I know practically nothing about them and their lives. I only know where they live because my xW has a unique car and is on a street I use regularly.
Not sure how you got the impression I was well informed.
No real need to set that boundary with people because it pretty much never comes up and doesn't bother me any more. Informing people that I need to limit our conversations just seems weird under the circumstances.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Your post makes me SO glad my ex isn't married to one of his OW. His current wife came along about 9 months after we split, so I bear her no ill will. I can imagine though, in a case like yours, the secret satisfaction one might feel upon hearing there might be trouble in paradise.
All WASs seem to feel like they got shafted in the divorce settlement - because in their imaginations, they were going to have the zipless divorce, get all the assets, and live happily ever after. And when the reality of a fair divorce settlement hits, well, it must be SOMEONE's fault, so must be yours, right?
My divorce settlement almost couldn't have been simpler. Community property state, all assets acquired during our marriage, things split pretty evenly. Because of the formulas used, I get slightly less of the pension than I ought, alimony was a compromise between what I really earn and what my ex thought I could earn, and he negotiated down to 10 years instead of 12 because of something else I got. It was civil and I never ever bothered him. Yet he complains to the kids about how badly I took him to the cleaners, with no basis in fact whatsoever. Despite the fact that he has way more money than I do. If his new life isn't making him deliriously happy it has nothing to do with me or our divorce settlement, but I think often they are like the dog that caught the car.
You do seem to get info from sources, like your son, but you also speculate a good bit about the comings and goings of your xw. I think, though you say you don’t need a boundary because you don’t get much info, that maybe you do need to spend less time worrying with her comings and goings and life in general. I know you aren’t surprised I’m saying this because I tell you all the time to let it go. Lol
All of the posts where I read about divorce settlements makes me very thankful ours was quite simple. So glad to be past that!
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
There is a fair bit of exterior painting to be done along with some rot in a couple of window frames that needs to be addressed. I also hope to finally finish the re-engineering of my garage door this weekend. That's been a task that has been stressing me out because I am rather "winging it" with only a vague outline of how it should work and have had to re-evaluate things a few times and redo when one approach or another proved to just plain not work.