Thanks for the good wishes on behalf of my sister. The most recent message I got from her was upbeat. She's been down this path before.
There's a history of cancer on my mother's side of the family and my mother died herself from colon cancer at about the same age as my sister is now.
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Been a tough couple of days and also weird too. For some reason the passing of both the 33rd anniversary of my former marriage on Friday and the 34th anniversary of when we met on Saturday hit me with feelings of sadness and regret. Nothing serious, but the WTF was certainly there.
Had a nice brunch with my son today especially after I got him off the topic of provincial politics. It's his birthday this Thursday so I gave him his present and card today as he doesn't know what his plans are as of yet. I think he's thinking of celebrating with 20S who he shares a birthday with. Since his mother and I split he's had I think all of his birthdays with me although historically it was also me who did much of the planning of such things.
I saw "C" yet again for a short while on Saturday - she was up helping her friends at the brewery and contacted me to pop up for a drink. This seems to be becoming a more frequent thing for our paths to cross. It's always nice to see her.
I also bumped in to the nice lady in the flower shop for the first time in a number of months. She had a sitter and so was able to work. I think she's been going through a tough time health-wise lately and was in a fair amount of pain but still working. Bad as it may sound, I'm kind of glad that nothing did develop with her even though she is a great person. Her health issues, a young child who from what I understand can be a "handful" at times - while I have sympathy for her, I'm glad I'm not directly involved.
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So I worked through some more budget numbers and if I increase my mortgage payment by 20% each year which is the maximum I can do and certainly something I can afford, I will knock 6 years off the amortization having it paid off before I turn 64. That may allow me to do some re-thinking about when and how I retire. Lots to think on.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
64 sounds good! When I was at that get together with my high school friends, one’s wife asked me if I was still working, to which I replied yes, but I only see patients 4 days a week (usually catch up paperwork the fifth day ). His wife replied with dismay that I was working so much, and it dawned on me that half my friends there were retired already. I’ve been so focused on making it to 70 myself (to maximize my social security income and pay down my mortgage) that I sort of didn’t notice my peers retiring around me before then.
I’m happy to be healthy and able to continue work that I love and has meaning. But I guess that will add yet another layer of complexity to dating if I ever do again. Are they retired yet, or not?
64 sounds good! When I was at that get together with my high school friends, one’s wife asked me if I was still working, to which I replied yes, but I only see patients 4 days a week (usually catch up paperwork the fifth day ). His wife replied with dismay that I was working so much, and it dawned on me that half my friends there were retired already. I’ve been so focused on making it to 70 myself (to maximize my social security income and pay down my mortgage) that I sort of didn’t notice my peers retiring around me before then.
I’m happy to be healthy and able to continue work that I love and has meaning. But I guess that will add yet another layer of complexity to dating if I ever do again.
I don't have any hard numbers but suspect that our generation is woefully unprepared for retirement. "B" who I dated a few years ago had no retirement savings and resented any attempt at payroll deduction for retirement plans. Her "ex" (no clue on her status) retired at 50 from a good union job and blew it all on "toys" to the point where her minimum wage income was necessary to give them a good enough credit rating for their mortgage.
One perhaps revealing question that confused "S" was "how much do you pay each month on your credit card". She just never could get her head around the idea that I paid whatever was on it every month.
I mentioned this on another thread, but the concept of a "hobosexual' is something we need to watch out for. Even someone like CMM could be considered to fall into that category.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
if I increase my mortgage payment by 20% each year which is the maximum I can do
Will you explain this to me? Is it a Canada thing? A mortgage thing? I can pay however much I want over the minimum payment each month.
It's just how this particular mortgage is structured. I'm allowed this increase and I can also do one lump sum payment each year without penalty. I expect that other mortgage products are structured differently.
So - for example when I bought my xW out of the house, I had to pay a bit extra to get out of that prior mortgage contract (which they gave me back as a "you are a great customer" credit).
Makes some sense from the bank's point of view. They've entered into a contract with me as a borrower and want to be sure that I abide by it.
You maybe have an "open" mortgage where I have a "closed" one.
Originally Posted by From the internet
What is the difference between an open and closed mortgage? An open mortgage provides flexibility until you are ready to lock into a closed term. A closed mortgage limits your prepayment options but usually offers a lower interest rate than an open mortgage.
I like the idea of a closed mortgage because it has a fixed interest rate and terms and I can have security knowing that nothing will change on me unexpectedly. Just like I locked in a fixed interest rate even though at the time I could have gotten a lower rate on a variable rate mortgage.
I'm a pretty conservative person with my money and take few risks. But also limit the "wins" I may get.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
CMM could be considered to fall into that category.
Well, it was ME who insisted he move in with me (as I was fully aware of the costs of cancer treatment, monetary and otherwise) and he did pay his way otherwise besides housing. Still, if he had not gotten cancer, he would have eventually retired with just social security. He loved me madly though, so it wasn't about him trying to be with me for what I could provide. And he did everything he could to repay me by cooking for me, cleaning (while he was still able to do so) and being very supportive. He knew I would have to care for him in the end, so he saw it as "building up credits" for when that time came.
If I do date again, I'd like a man who lives within his means and has a plan for retirement. I suppose I could provide housing (as it doesn't cost me anything to have another person living with me) but I'm really not looking to live with someone again, so he would have to be really special for me to do that. My preference would be a guy who owns his own home and has his own life separate from me. Add to that healthy, sexually functional, able to entertain himself while I'm working if he's retired, aligned values - well, it's a lot. Perhaps I will still need to look at slightly younger guys, although letting my white hair grow out as I am doing may preclude that, I don't know. I suppose I can always dye it again if that proves to be the case.
For now, I'm still going to wait at least a year before thinking of dating, probably longer with all these factors to consider. Right now I'm happy just spending time with my "date", the super charming Lee Min Ho in The King: Eternal Monarch on Netflix, lol.
