Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 3 of 3 1 2 3
Joined: May 2019
Posts: 24
A
New Member
Offline
New Member
A
Joined: May 2019
Posts: 24
HOLY SCHNIKES!!!

There is so much wonderful encouragement in this post!

Like si13 I am in the beginning stage and clinging to every word of encouragement and admonition to hope for future i can latch onto.

It all is beginning to darken the sky like horrible storm clouds blotting out the sun.


M-19, T-22
M-53, W 44
D15, S13
Separate BRs 02/2018 (during and after I had pneumonia)
W (left separation - no A) - ? ~ 05/03-09/2019
BD 05/16/19
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,453
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,453
I can so relate to this thread and I too will confirm that you will
Not die

Grow you must and understand healthy boundaries and go find yourself

I think I spun for about 2 years believed I was DBusting I wasn’t I avoided so many things told myself I was doing XYZ when in reality this was not the case

Without the help and perseverance from many of the regulars who I am sure came to despair with me many a time I could have easily given up

Three years on I am three stone lighter have some amazing friends both male and female I have been out dated had fun and the loss of my W no longer hurts so much and truly I am finding my happiness

You will be ok

All the best and keep posting


Me:48 W 41
M:18 T:26
2 D 18 & 4
2 S 17 & 13
Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation
D filed 06/17
Separate houses 10/17
D Final 29/12//17.
Joined: Jun 2020
Posts: 9
A
New Member
Offline
New Member
A
Joined: Jun 2020
Posts: 9
Thank you so much.

Joined: Jul 2022
Posts: 16
R
New Member
Offline
New Member
R
Joined: Jul 2022
Posts: 16
Thank you for this post. I am struggling *so much* at the moment. My husband walked out on me just over 3 months ago ("not happy"). The pain is unbearable. My story is in the newcomers forum.

I guess I'm feeling so demoralised as I read so much on here from people who weren't able to save their marriages despite all the DB in the world. Are the people who do manage it just a tiny minority?

I'm trying not to do relationship talk with my husband on the very rare occasions we see each other, as I'm afraid I'll push him further away and kill any chance of reconciliation. But at other times, I think I just need to sit him down, have The Conversation, ask him to decide one way or the other, then take the consequences and get out of limbo once and for all so I can move on. The limbo is killing me.


Me:52 WAH/MLCer:54
T:8 years M:5 years
Kids: None
BD/Move out day: 4/16/22
Emotional affair discovery: 10/01/22
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 4,627
Likes: 71
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 4,627
Likes: 71
Hi Reeling,

Steve, May, and I who respond in Newcomers all had the opportunity to reconcile and Steve and May are still married. It’s a minority, but not as tiny as it may seem when you factor in that some marriages weren’t worth saving due to abuse (Joseph took full custody and remarried a wonderful lady), and some people chose not to DB or DB’s too late for whatever reason. But yes, ultimately your partner gets a say and you can DB perfectly from BD onwards and be out of luck in every sense—except if you stand, process that pain and anger, work on your flaws, and get out there and live your best life you’re going to know you gave it your best (like BL42) and you’re hardly going to come out a loser whatever happens. I hope that helps! I look forward to seeing your next update.

1 member likes this: Reeling
Page 3 of 3 1 2 3

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard