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Mach1 Offline OP
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Drew....Thank you ....

I think that I just need a place to journal some thoughts. I've always felt that if I wrote my goals, and feelings, that I kinda had to hold myself accountable for them. When I first got here, it was kinda through the back door, and while I didn't have any threads early on, I got smacked over the head continually through the email side of things. Still, there were journaling thoughts of my own in them.

I'm not really reeling anymore as much as just feeling these things.

I know that most of the people that ask "Hey, how are you doing? " , aren't ready to hear what I say. And I'm okay with that for the most part.

As you know me, you know that I internalize everything before it comes out, ( I feel as though I am socially, the way you are here. Few words, yet I see everything : )) Through this...and because K isn't there to hear the snippets little by little as they come out ( I do tell her still), what that has looked like, is when I get human contact, I pretty typically can make someone's head spin and they gloss over fairly quickly...Including one therapist so far.

They say that loss is loss, and for the most part, that is true..

The loss of a spouse/partner seems the most devastating. Maybe that is just my perspective at this time. As much as losing a loved one is devastating, at the end of the day, one can come home to a support system, it's when the support system is the one that is lost....all hell breaks loose internally.

I've had some great support the past couple months. Met some new peeps, talked with some older peeps. One of the most surprising and helpful has been Mrs. Beans...

She and I have had some introspective talks about what "this" looks like, from where I am , to where she was and is now. We've talked in the past on many occasions, yet the talks recently have felt different with her. I think she is finally past everything that has haunted her. Which is a GOOD thing....

I actually talked with E last night, it was nice : o

He seems to be doing well for the most part. Some bumps in the road, but hey ....isn't that what life is about ?

Not so much what happens, how we deal with it ?

Life is getting better, still empty, yet getting better. I am seeing a light at the end of the tunnel, just gotta make sure it isn't a freight train coming through huh ?

I think the last time WE had contact, things are well with you ?

Mama and the kids doing well ?


That is the best part isn't it ?


I continually wish you well Brother...

Strength and honor....and perhaps some dignity and Grace too....

Well, if Grace is okay with that.... : O

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Originally Posted by bttrfly
Originally Posted by Mach1
What time does Fawlty Towers start ?
5 minutes ... grab the popcorn


Did you eat all of the Popcorn ?


Dayum...

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Originally Posted by Mach1
Originally Posted by bttrfly
Originally Posted by Mach1
What time does Fawlty Towers start ?
5 minutes ... grab the popcorn


Did you eat all of the Popcorn ?


Dayum...
Dude, you snooze, you lose ... we all enjoyed it ...


M 20+ T25+
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"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
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Originally Posted by bttrfly
Originally Posted by Mach1
Originally Posted by bttrfly
Originally Posted by Mach1
What time does Fawlty Towers start ?
5 minutes ... grab the popcorn


Did you eat all of the Popcorn ?


Dayum...
Dude, you snooze, you lose ... we all enjoyed it ...


Sigh......fine

Hey, where did you get that fire extinguisher ??

Can those things be refilled ?



Anywoo....hopefully more popcorn soon....

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you've already emptied that fire extinguisher? what did you do now?


M 20+ T25+
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BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
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Originally Posted by bttrfly
you've already emptied that fire extinguisher? what did you do now?


Things I've learned....

If the oil gets spilled on the Sage....not good.

Microwave popcorn isn't the same packaging and preparation is NOT interchangeable with stove top popcorn...

Fire dept is 11 minutes away...

Pee on a Jellyfish sting, NOT a Jelly stain....

The next closest cracker barrel is 23.7 miles away...

Arm hair will eventually grow back...

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oh. my.

you really need adult supervision.


M 20+ T25+
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D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
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Originally Posted by bttrfly
oh. my.

you really need adult supervision.

I blame Cadet...

He might be the oldest person ever here....

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I don't think he wants to come out to play, however.


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
Joined: Nov 2009
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Originally Posted by Mach1
Originally Posted by bttrfly
oh. my.

you really need adult supervision.

I blame Cadet...

He might be the oldest person ever here....

Unfortunately that is almost true except my hero nurse is 16 months older.


Me-70, D37,S36
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