I will add. Over the years I have gotten interest from married men. That I knew . And was it tempting ? Yeah. Generally “high value men” as LH would like to say. I never gave in.
Don’t project, Dnj. You know I’m not an affair partner. You must know the difference .
Did that make Andrew the affair partner twice over ?
V- I don’t feel as if I am wasting time because I am enjoying myself. And honestly, he is someone I would be friends with . I’m not committing myself to anything or putting too my effort or heart into it.
As far as “need to be single” It’s not so much his need to be single . It’s the need to settle into his new place on his own and deal with the divorce.
I swear we are just 2 people right now having lots of fun hanging out.
hmm.. I think everyone should be single for just a little bit in order to figure out what the h3ll happened. But that's just my humble opinion... as well as any good therapist's..lol
Just out of curiosity... when he talks about his wife and their relationship.. how is he? I realize that she has a problem but does he ever say what part he played? You know more than most how this kind of disease can affect a whole family. How does he speak of her currently?
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
D I hear what you are saying because this is a divorce busting site it’s a sensitive issue to some people. It’s well documented how I have issues with the WS running around here bragging about being a WS. I tease Ginger a lot about her dating choices but I would never question her moral compass. She’s a great person who unfortunately has to touch the hot stove more than the usual person before realizing it’s hot.
The story remains to be told but we typically see how it ends for the married online daters.
The W's big probalem was that when she did drink, she would drink ALOT, become verbally abusive, and if they were in a social situation, or in public she would purposely start fights with strangers to see if he would "protect" her. The final straw was when she spewed a racial slur at someone in out in public.
And the extra reason why this is so awful? When he was 24 he was at a bar with his then girlfriend. Some guy called his gf a "f'in B" and wanted to go outside and fight him. They were leaving for vacation the next day, he wasn't about to get arrested, os he told him he wasn't going outside and watch what he says to his GF. Well, the guy took a heavy beer mug, smashed the side of his twice, he woke up 2 days later after a craniotomy, was in the hospital almost 2 months and had to go throughs some serious rehab. and here is his wife trying to instigate fights? Pretty messed up.
What would he do differently? He said he ignored so many red flags. He had long term relationship that had ended (not right before they met) and he felt his marital clock ticking I guess, and he said he really would have paid attention the red flags. And he can say now he believes in marriage and would absolutely do it again.
LH, I think there are married men online and there are seperated men on line with a divorce filed.
ANd yeah, I get reased alot about my dating choies. Tell me, what is the perfect scenario in which I wouldn't get teased? What is the textbook fairytale where it sounds perfectly ideal? I am curious. I am pretty sureeven in the ost ideal situation, I would have made a date too early or too late, they wouldn't be divorced long enough or too long, they would live with their parents, or be love avoidant or too needy. Nothing would ever be a perfectly perfect ideal situation.
But I am pretty sure after 40, divorces, with kids, with lives lived, baggage etc. there is no perfect dating situation where everything is done ideally and I wouldn't get teased.
Not many have been in my sitch, divorced young never remarried, trying to date while raising a kid practically by herself. I have never had a real partner in life. So maybe i do do everything perfectly, maybe sometimes they simply don't work out, or maybe they backfire because of something I did or didn't do. Maybe i am just awful at dating. But you know what? I am one of the sitches that is different on these boards. And while I may not be the perfect dater, I have overcome and conquered so much on my own, I am going to have an oune of trust in myself that I am not messing everything up royally over here
Also as 99% of us know divorce is a two way street. What was dirty on his side? Has he addressed it? I assume with all these intimate amazing talks you have covered this topic.
Here we go again. Someone doesn't always have something toxic or dirty on their side of the street, ya know. I have somthing on my side of the street. I am not going to say it was "dirty". I got into a marriage I should not have by any means and i paid the price knowing the person he was. That's my dirty side. I know i became passive agressive and defensive because i knew what was going ot be shot at me in any given situation. And very much the same thing happened to him. He ignored the red flags, and he became defensive in certain situations before they even happened because he knew what was coming.
We both had short term marriages, we didnt get a chance to dirty our side of the street too heavily. We didn;t have our years and years of resentment to build up and blow up a marriage. We married people we knew we shouldnt.
Here we go again. Someone doesn't always have something toxic or dirty on their side of the street, ya know. I have somthing on my side of the street. I am not going to say it was "dirty". I got into a marriage I should not have by any means and i paid the price knowing the person he was. That's my dirty side. I know i became passive agressive and defensive because i knew what was going ot be shot at me in any given situation. And very much the same thing happened to him. He ignored the red flags, and he became defensive in certain situations before they even happened because he knew what was coming.
We both had short term marriages, we didnt get a chance to dirty our side of the street too heavily. We didn;t have our years and years of resentment to build up and blow up a marriage. We married people we knew we shouldnt.
Wow! This from the person that is so quick to point out the LBH is not innocent. You are in deeper than I thought. I’m just going to buy my popcorn and sit back and watch closely.
