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Samoy Offline OP
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bttrfly,

I read the links and it appears he's in withdrawal/replay/depression and cycling. I now have a better understanding of what's going on with my h. All I desired. I know I can't help him. This is his journey, from day one.

I believe it started back in 2016. That is when he started going left and I noticed the changes in him.

I saw him go into the tunnel. I actually saw him go into the tunnel. He's running with a pack of MLC. How he breaks from them is truly up to God. I have relinquished the rope. Now I have closure as to what is going on with him and what he's facing.

I've watched him restructure his childhood trauma and was confused as to why he did that, now I know. It is a must for him to become the man he will become, hopefully.

For me, clarity is something I always seek in any situation and I won't stop until I do. I did.

QUESTION: I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW HOW TO ACCESS OLD POST. How can I accomplish this feat?

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Originally Posted by Samoy
QUESTION: I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW HOW TO ACCESS OLD POST. How can I accomplish this feat?

Here are yours: Threads Created by Samoy | All Posts Made By Samoy

To find any user's threads & posts...click on their screen name, click "View Profile", click on the linked number above "Total Posts", and then click on "Threads Created" or "All Posts".


Me:39 Ex-W:37
M:7 T: 9
S:6 D:3
BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20
OM1 affair ends: May '20
W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20
W files for D: Jul20
OM2 confirmed: 9/2020
Divorced: May '21
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good for you for reading all the links. I know that was a lot of work, but it accomplished what I hoped it would for you in that you have the answers you sought. Sometimes the only way we can gain the clarity is by reading others' experiences, so we can then get a better frame of reference for our own sitch.

what old posts are you referring to? BL gave a good answer. We're here for you, in whatever capacity we can help. Hope you're well.


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
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Samoy Offline OP
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We are divorced. I am still living in his house. looking for a home. He is ramping up going back and forth between anger then remorse. It is head spinning.

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DnJ Online
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Hello Samoy

(((Hugs)))

Seeing one’s divorce signed on paper is a gut punch; even when one knows it’s coming.

How long can you remain in his home. And his home? I’m guessing you got your portion of the equity?

Definitely head spinning these folks. Even after they get what they feel they want - divorce, freedom, etc. - they still aren’t happy. Angry to remorse and back to angry, yep it’s XH’s rollercoaster, let him ride it.

Good luck with your house hunting. Are you thinking of sticking in the neighborhood or looking to a different area/city? Moving/purchasing - stressful and exciting all at the same time.

Stand tall. You got this.

D


Feelings are fleeting.
Be better, not bitter.
Love the person, forgive the sin.
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Originally Posted by Samoy
We are divorced. I am still living in his house. looking for a home. He is ramping up going back and forth between anger then remorse. It is head spinning.

I'm sorry to read about the D. we all come here hoping we can do something to reverse the course; so few are actually able to do that.


I vividly remember a particularly nasty phone call with my exh on the day our D was finalized.
He was so angry, throwing blame on me, saying he never wanted this and a whole lot of other nonsense. if you don't want a divorce you don't file for one, period. I'm sure the enormity and finality takes its toll on both parties, but it's no excuse to heap abuse.

The only important thing is how quickly can you move? can you find a temporary spot until you can find a more permanent location? getting away from the crazy will help you stabilize and find your own way and some well-deserved inner peace.

Last edited by bttrfly; 11/14/22 11:04 AM. Reason: added a space

M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
Joined: Jul 2020
Posts: 1,760
Likes: 193
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Samoy,
Originally Posted by Samoy
We are divorced.
Sorry for the result. Hang in there.

Originally Posted by DnJ
Seeing one’s divorce signed on paper is a gut punch; even when one knows it’s coming.
Indeed.


Me:39 Ex-W:37
M:7 T: 9
S:6 D:3
BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20
OM1 affair ends: May '20
W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20
W files for D: Jul20
OM2 confirmed: 9/2020
Divorced: May '21
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