Case in point Mach we have a walk away on here who said his D was what was best for him and his kids. I asked him if he ever asked his kids if his D was best for them. He called me a bully and than blocked me.
Well, so much action going on over here! Read along a little bit couldn’t really reply. I have had probably the worst 3 days in my position in the last 4 years. Extremely challenging cases that requires tons of work, lots of pressure from families and doctors and very long hours that weren’t paid for past 7.5 per day. I literally cried last night I was so stressed. I did have a patient’s family say the nicest things to me, and then my coworker heard it and gave me a shout on social media. That was nice. Then yesterday, my new supervisor (the job I didn’t get) had a big issue she didn’t know how to solve. She came to me, I walked her through it and did some leg work and guess what. It got solved. She was very kind enough to give me a big shout out on our huddle this morning. I was taking D and her friend to a movie after work and I almost wasn’t going to make it. A doctor pushed an issue off on me as I was walking out the door. I tried my best, but I told him he had to take care of it when I couldn’t. I do not get paid enough for this poop. I managed to pick them up in time for the movie . Now get this, she went to go see fireworks with her cousins, her grandmother, and her grandfathers current wife, lol. I’m just trying to relax for a bit, but I’m still wound up.
I read every post and took some notes on the child support. I’m not going to be nice, I’m not going to be mean, I’m just going to do my research and get my fair share. I really need it. When she told me today that all the clothes she is packing for her trip are from my house because she has nothing at my dads, I was really in my head “that’s enough” she asked me to drive to the mall so she can meet her friend Sunday, I told her fine, but I’m not giving her a dime . I also signed up to sell my plasma. A single Mom coworker told me about it. It’s good money and relatively easy! I can make $300 in the first week, then $50 per donation, which I can do every 3 days. Not too bad.
She told me how she also signs up for those bank offers where you open and account and they will give you a few hundred, then she cancels them in 3 months after they give her the money. [censored] that I work so hard and it comes to this, but I gotta do why I gotta do.
As far as the guy, we texted Wednesday, he reached out to me, no plans made and again, I haven’t heard from him. It doesn’t bother me like it did the last time . Been chatting a little with a guy I have known for years, my friends husbands friends. We tried to date like 8 years ago, but he had dreams of starting his own family and while I was still game for more kids, he didn’t want someone else’s kids. He wanted everything fresh and new. Then we tried again in 2020, went on a few dates. But we were both stubborn arses being burned so many times that both were wanting the other one to kind of prove themselves of not being flaky. I admit, I probably was the worst. We have chatted on and off and a little more on recently. Got a bit flirty. He’s leaving for Egypt for 2 weeks this weekend but we we talked of getting together when he gets back. 48 I think he is. And he never got married and never had those kids. He’s quite single, he makes a really good living, owns a house and travels and has a hobby he really likes and that’s been his life. He dates, but he is sick of the OLD thing too. We will see, not holding my breath there either .
As far as these boards. Mach nailed it. There was a time you came here and got nothing but the truth. But that truth was meant to help push you along and not keep you stuck and really dig deep. The turn these boards made is not that it is harsh. It’s that it’s mostly validation centered and the tough love truth isn’t welcomed anymore . If it wasnot for what this place was, god knows where I would be now. If it wasn’t for my wonderful , IRL DB friends like Mach, his beloved K, and others . Lord only knows.
I remember K and little G doing cartwheels in the backyard and K’s very impressive handstands! Good memories of good times and good friends.
My ex yesterday had the cojones to ask if I would split the cost of apple care for D’s phone. After he comes back from his expensive vacation and heads off to his next.
I told him I currently have $0 which is absolutely true.
Then yesterday, my new supervisor (the job I didn’t get) had a big issue she didn’t know how to solve. She came to me, I walked her through it and did some leg work and guess what. It got solved. She was very kind enough to give me a big shout out on our huddle this morning.
I bet it's frustrating to be passed over and then have your new supervisor rely on you for the solution, but good for you for taking the high road and being a team player.
Originally Posted by Ginger1
I read every post and took some notes on the child support. I’m not going to be nice, I’m not going to be mean, I’m just going to do my research and get my fair share. I really need it.
Good! Stand up for your daughter and yourself. Time for him to pay his fair share.
You know your numbers (incomes, custody %s...etc.) more than us - type those into one of many online child support calculators for NJ and it should give you a very good target. Even better consult an L or two. If Ex then refuses doesn't want to pay what's fair file a motion for review. I almost guarantee a judge is going to be sympathetic to your case more than ExHs. Your ExH is crazy if he thinks a child support hearing would end well for him as compared to the current situation or what you'll propose. That's your leverage.
Originally Posted by Ginger1
I also signed up to sell my plasma.
Sell your plasma if you so choose, but you shouldn't have to...make your ExH chip in his fair share!
Originally Posted by Ginger1
She told me how she also signs up for those bank offers where you open and account and they will give you a few hundred, then she cancels them in 3 months after they give her the money.
I do this - more with credit cards for the rewards - not out of necessity but because why not it's free money. I laugh at the in-store credit card offers to "save 10% on your purchase today" when I know the card reward bonuses I can get are $500-1000 per. Makes $15 off a store purchase seem ridiculous.
Originally Posted by Ginger1
My ex yesterday had the cojones to ask if I would split the cost of apple care for D’s phone. After he comes back from his expensive vacation and heads off to his next.
I told him I currently have $0 which is absolutely true.
I’m done
Time to take action!
Me:39 Ex-W:37 M:7 T: 9 S:6 D:3 BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20 OM1 affair ends: May '20 W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20 W files for D: Jul20 OM2 confirmed: 9/2020 Divorced: May '21
As far as these boards. Mach nailed it. There was a time you came here and got nothing but the truth. But that truth was meant to help push you along and not keep you stuck and really dig deep. The turn these boards made is not that it is harsh. It’s that it’s mostly validation centered and the tough love truth isn’t welcomed anymore.
Some comments I've received or witnessed have born far more resemblance to personal attacks than validation or loving attempts to tell tough "truths" (opinions). Setting aside those who are mean-spirited, I think on the Internet some are quicker to assume they know TheTruth and BeBlunt than they'd be with an acquaintance recounting a tough time in-person. That's maybe par for the Internet, but it's not "tough love". Tough love requires compassion. "Would I assume and say this in-person?" My $0.02 for those trying to help others. I get those who have given up on these forums. I miss AnotherStander; he gave me and others the most amazing advice in Newcomers. I'm still here, doing what I can to help the occasional Newcomers.
As far as these boards. Mach nailed it. There was a time you came here and got nothing but the truth. But that truth was meant to help push you along and not keep you stuck and really dig deep. The turn these boards made is not that it is harsh. It’s that it’s mostly validation centered and the tough love truth isn’t welcomed anymore.
Some comments I've received or witnessed have born far more resemblance to personal attacks than validation or loving attempts to tell tough "truths" (opinions). Setting aside those who are mean-spirited, I think on the Internet some are quicker to assume they know TheTruth and BeBlunt than they'd be with an acquaintance recounting a tough time in-person. That's maybe par for the Internet, but it's not "tough love". Tough love requires compassion. "Would I assume and say this in-person?" My $0.02 for those trying to help others. I get those who have given up on these forums. I miss AnotherStander; he gave me and others the most amazing advice in Newcomers. I'm still here, doing what I can to help the occasional Newcomers.
I can certainly say that I don't agree with you, but hey, whatever....
You are certainly entitled to your opinion...
Just so ya know....I have looked G in the eyes and told her the same things that I would post to her...
I would do that with any person that sits with me and asks me what I think. I owe that to them.
It is their choice what they do with that information. I have seen people grow and learn from it...and I have seen people that take their toys from the sandbox and go home....
The ones that have chosen to "hear" it, are some of the most amazing, self aware, genuine people that I have had the pleasure of calling a friend...
"The truth" , I personally would rather have 3 people telling me what they saw in my situation , be it harsh, be it truthful, be it hard to hear.....than I would to have 50 people giving me a participation trophy, and patting me on the back and saying "It's okay, I'm sorry".....
I have nothing to learn from, when I get the ribbon for just showing up...
One of the beautiful things from CHOOSING to post here, is that we take what we need, and discard the rest.
We look closely at the things that shoot those little stings up the back of our neck, because those are the things that typically, we do not like about our self.
If it stings ? You better look at it...
Compassion is as varied as the interpreter perceives it. Compassion to me means something different than it does to you if I am reading you correctly.
Compassion to me means that people care enough about what I am going through, or what they see in me, to help me through something. I get to choose how, and why that affects me, but their intentions are good, and pure.
Compassion is caring enough to be involved, and trying to make a difference....
Being involved, had always been the foundation that these boards were built on....
Compassion and truth were the bricks and mortar...
And of course. there was occasionally a sandbox, void of its toys, in the backyard....
Case in point Mach we have a walk away on here who said his D was what was best for him and his kids. I asked him if he ever asked his kids if his D was best for them. He called me a bully and than blocked me.
OMG...I am sooo sorry that you had to deal with that.....
