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JosephS, good to hear from you! Glad to hear that your life has continued to move forward, and congratulations on the wedding and marriage. I am praying for years of happiness, and with your personal growth and improvements due to your previous situation, I am sure you have set yourself up for a bright future and success in the new marriage.

As far as people raining on your parade, well it is the internet! I've often said that people will type things they would never ever say to someone's face. You kind of have to, as with most things in life, take the bad with the good. I do think that the bad outweighs the good though! So please continue to be a regular visitor here. Your story is a success story, even if it didn't end in saving your marriage. You are on to the next phase of your life happy and healthy! That is the epitome of "onward and upward!".

Interesting that the Ex gave up. Makes me wonder if a lot of her problem all along was depression? I'll never know how a person can abandon their kids. Hopefully you have offered to get the kids some good counseling since this can cause them a lot of trouble down the line and in their own relationships.

Congrats again! Don't be a stranger.


M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018
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Originally Posted by Joseph
The baby is 7 months old. The GF is actually the W now. My 19 yr old officiated it. Only the kids were there and it was a lot of fun and very memorable.

Joseph, thanks for the kind words, and so glad life's going well! Having a situation with some similarities, I'm not surprised that how you fought for your kids attracted others. It's wonderful you found and wisely chose her and that your kids accept her. Like Steve, I hope you continue to drop by so we know you're well and the occasional newcomer sees your success story.

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JosephS,
Originally Posted by JosephS
The baby is 7 months old. The GF is actually the W now. My 19 yr old officiated it. Only the kids were there and it was a lot of fun and very memorable.
Congrats on the wedding! Glad to hear your kids are embracing new W and family situation.

Originally Posted by JosephS
The Ex gave up a while ago. I have full everything.
Good you're stepping up, but how sad for her and the kids - reminds me of DnJ's Ex.

Originally Posted by JosephS
Guy plead guilty to a lesser charge, left my ex and moved several hours away.
Assaults you "for her" and then leaves and moves away. I'm speechless. It'd be funny if not so sad/tragic. Glad he's been dealt with legally and out of your life going forward.

Originally Posted by JosephS
I appreciate you asking BL, but honestly I’ve never been happier
Glad to hear it. Keep it up!


Me:39 Ex-W:37
M:7 T: 9
S:6 D:3
BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20
OM1 affair ends: May '20
W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20
W files for D: Jul20
OM2 confirmed: 9/2020
Divorced: May '21
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Great news Joseph. Remember, once a Dber, always a Dber. Keep on growing from inside.

My best wishes for you and your family.


WW H(me): 53
W: 48
T: 27 M: 22
S: 18
Piecing since 03/2016
Saw the light in the storm
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Yikes, that last post from almost 6 months ago puts a bad taste in my mouth.

So, I’m going to give this thread a proper send off.

I wanted to thank everyone who had reached out in anyway. I think I’ll always distinctly remember the panic, worthlessness, and self doubt I felt at first. You know what I really felt that I never said out loud. Man did I feel like less of a man. I was so emasculated from everything. Anyway, thank you guys for just responding, good or bad. This place really was a healthy distraction at times.

So I’m not sure if this is a final update, because never say never, but I’m really hoping there’s no reason too ever again, especially in the new comer’s section. But I will always be around as long as there’s a forum.

So, I’m 39 these days, I’ll be 40 in less than 4 months. There was a coffee cup on the table the other day. Said “Welcome to 40, this is hell”. I laughed when I realized at some point this mug made it’s way from my parents house to mine. I can remember being a little kid and my Dad getting this cup when he turned 40 and thinking he was so old. Things really do go full circle.

The W is a wonderful woman who isn’t perfect in anyway shape or form and that absolutely fine with me. She’s awesome with my kids, she respects their privacy, and she respects our relationship. I hit the lottery thus far with her. We’ll see what the future holds though, I just don’t worry about it. I live in the here and now for the most part.

Kids are great. S19 is in college and in a fraternity. It was good to see a really confident young man walk into the house for Christmas break. Not that he wasn’t before, but you know what I mean.

My oldest D is an official adult today. She’s out with friends. She was the one who was the primary target of her moms abuse. But she’s held a job for a little while now, and has a social life and hasn’t self harmed. I’m very proud of her.


D15,13 and 10 are all doing great. They’re happy yet moody teenagers. Even the 10 year old is starting the eye rolls. Lol. It’s so funny.

The baby is 1. She’s amazing, tenacious as all get up, and makes me realize I’m going on 40. Lol. I can ride a motorcycle, chop wood, fix things around the house, no problems. Her though…whenever she’s awake all you see is a little butt and elbows running CONSTANTLY and I’m exhausted at night now! All the kids accept her no question so I do admit I have help regardless if I want it or not lol.

Work life is great. I actually work a normal person hybrid schedule so I’m blessed there.

Things are just good. There’s always problems, I had to have the well pump replaced a month after hot water heater and water pressure tank. So needless to say these birthdays and Christmas came at just the best time, but in reality what can you do?

So that’s really it.

Everyone take care


Me: 40
EX:37
Together 17 years
Married 16 years
5 kids, 20,18,15,14,11

BD 03/06/20, divorced 12/23/21
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Thanks for the update.

When I turned 50, my dad said "Those were the easy 50, the next 50 are the hard ones" Enjoy your next 10 years....lol


But seriously, enjoy your time with the kids. All mine are out of the house now. Time fly's.


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
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Always good to hear from you. Glad to hear life is hectic but good. Best of luck to you and all your kids!


Me:39 Ex-W:37
M:7 T: 9
S:6 D:3
BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20
OM1 affair ends: May '20
W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20
W files for D: Jul20
OM2 confirmed: 9/2020
Divorced: May '21
Joined: Mar 2020
Posts: 569
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Never really thought I'd be back here with an update, but really I need an outlet more than anything.

Things have been very all over the place. My son who's 20 works full time and goes to college full time. How he is managing is beyond me, but his motto is if he works hard now in 20 years he won't have too.

My oldest daughter....well what can I say, she found a boy, turned 18, barely finished highschool and immediately left. I haven't heard from her in about a month, basically she can't face me after pulling that without saying a word. It's sad, but I know she's gotta find her own path. I email her every day giving her updates on the family and the dog. I didn't one day, and she mentioned it to her sister, so I did continue even though she isn't responding. I do tell her everyday I love her and if she needs anything I'm always here. She's mentioned she did exactly what her mom did when she was 18 and is afraid I'll see her as her mom. (told a sister that). I guess she doesn't realize I was the guy her mom left with when she was 18 and I understand it. We'll get there, but with most things, the journey is gonna take some time.

The rest of the kids are doing great and are happy and healthy.

Now....the "real" DB update.

My ex got real therapy because it was ordered if she wanted to even have supervised visits with the kids. (Side note, anyone on the fence about IC really needs to give it a shot until they find the therapist that works for them). Anyway, it's become obvious and undeniable she's out of this fog. She's been employed, gained some weight, and hasn't argued with me about anything. She's taken full responsibility for what she did, and what she did to the kids. She does talk to the kids whenever she wants and has seen them 2 or 3 times with me there, and it's hard. It's hard to watch her struggle to be a mom when the kids don't want her as that right now. She's respecting it, doesn't push them, and allows them to set all the boundaries. She does call me to vent about it, and I do listen.

She has told me she will always love me and wants nothing more than to get back together and start over, but she's aware that can't happen and has said she's happy I'm happy. I'm cautious as I can be with that, because I don't trust she'll respect that I'm married, because she's started to send "songs" that are obviously about someone messing up and regretting it.

This journey...man it's nuts and a lot of the time I've felt like Mid 1990s Jerry Springer would look at my situation and think it's to much, but I guess that's the path I gotta walk.


Time to start the work day, thankfully it's Friday, and I got plans all weekend that involve fireworks, fires, motorcycles, and shotguns. It's gonna be fun!

To everyone walking this path...keep moving forward, no one here can promise you what's gonna happen next, but whatever you do...do not get caught sitting still!


Me: 40
EX:37
Together 17 years
Married 16 years
5 kids, 20,18,15,14,11

BD 03/06/20, divorced 12/23/21
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Thank you for your update Joseph. Respect and appreciation for you and the Lighthouse you are. How was the weekend? Sounds fun!


M:52 W: 51
T:27 M:25
D26 S24 S21 D20
BD:2022
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