Perfect is the enemy of the good. If I'd waited around for the perfect guy I would have never been in a relationship in all these years since my divorce. Everybody has some baggage at this age.
Perfect is the enemy of the good. If I'd waited around for the perfect guy I would have never been in a relationship in all these years since my divorce. Everybody has some baggage at this age.
Indeed. The question is - do they acknowledge it and deal with it on their own or not.
That was part of the reasons B and I split. She had unresolved baggage with her xH - who as far as I know she went back to - and with her oldest son. I still think she did the smart and mature thing by recognizing that as well as some fundamental incompatibilities between us. I learned a lot from that time.
S on the other hand was more than happy to be the distressed damsel and just take and expected everyone one else to deal with her issues. Always had an excuse.
It's been more than a year and half since then. Still reluctant to put myself out there. I like to think I'm smarter, and certainly less trusting and optimistic than I was.
I certainly have my own baggage. I have two kids who while they don't take up a lot of time or effort, are a priority if they need me. I tend to work too many hours including on weekends, I'll spend hours doing things that I could probably just hire someone to do. I'm attached to my house and the area I live in and wouldn't be interested in moving etc etc. Things that would make me incompatible with some people. I've also noticed a disturbing tendency to neglect to close the bathroom door
A neighbour of mine once opined that she felt that the longer someone lives alone, the more that they like it. Certainly seems to be the case for me.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Had a little pleasant text chat with the first guy I dated after my ex left.
Originally Posted by kml
We are still friends and stay slightly in touch.
Just curious...purely friends, or might there be a "keep the connection as a backup plan" aspect?
Originally Posted by AndrewP
Originally Posted by kml
Perfect is the enemy of the good. If I'd waited around for the perfect guy I would have never been in a relationship in all these years since my divorce. Everybody has some baggage at this age.
Indeed. The question is - do they acknowledge it and deal with it on their own or not.
You both make great points.
Originally Posted by AndrewP
A neighbour of mine once opined that she felt that the longer someone lives alone, the more that they like it. Certainly seems to be the case for me.
I wonder the same, plus does the long period of independence make it harder to merge lives and compromise?
Me:39 Ex-W:37 M:7 T: 9 S:6 D:3 BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20 OM1 affair ends: May '20 W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20 W files for D: Jul20 OM2 confirmed: 9/2020 Divorced: May '21
So - an odd phenomenon. I’ve been obsessed for the last few weeks with watching Boys Over Flowers. First the very popular Korean version, then the 2018 Chinese remake of the original Meteor Garden version, then the Japanese version, then just started the original 2001 Taiwanese version.
For those who don’t know, these are all tv series based on a popular Japanese manga, about a plucky girl of modest means who ends up attending a school for the scions of uber-wealthy families. The top of the school pecking order is 4 very wealthy boys, childhood friends, dubbed F4, and admired and feared by their classmates, because the leader of the pack is a bully.
The plucky girl stands up to him, eventually administering either a round kick to his head or a punch to his jaw, depending on the version. This actually commands his respect, compared to all his fawning, simpering admirers, and he pursues her. She is not impressed by him or his wealth, and much of the show is not just about their star-crossed love (his dragon mom does not approve) but also how, through her example and with the help of his friends, he becomes a better man.
The question is - why am I so drawn to this story? I’m not usually a reader of romance novels or watcher of Hallmark movies. I do love Jane Austen and there’s something a bit reminiscent of her in this story. I’m not depressed - sad, still, over CMM’s death, but not depressed.
Is it because I identify with the girl? Is it because of the sweet romantic scenes? Is it just good escapism (but I’ve been watching plenty of other escapist stuff)?
I don’t tend to be obsessive, so it’s sorta peculiar behavior for me.
Yesterday was 6 months since CMM chose to exit this mortal coil. I posted some photos of him - every one shows him gazing at me behind the camera with love. He was a difficult, complicated person, but his love for me was true.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Maybe that's the key to why I'm so obsessed with Boys Over Flowers right now. The male lead is also a difficult, complicated character (in other ways than CMM) but his love for the female lead is true.
Trigger warning though - the Korean version is delightful, but some of the other versions - especially the Thai version - have a lot of violence and some domestic violence in them.
Wow - I just got a call from a favorite patient of mine. A sweet elderly woman, her husband is a veterinarian and he always comes in with her, they are a charming, devoted couple. And he got murdered last night while working late in his veterinary office.
Life is short and unpredictable, people. Tell the people in your life you love them, and don't put your life on hold - get out and live it.
