Sorry for not updating the past few days. My dad passed away and I have been busy with funeral arrangements, family, etc. Unfortunately I could not fly home (yet) as I am too far into my pregnancy to be able to fly safely (2 more weeks!). It is bittersweet as I know it is for the best as he seemed to be suffering more and more towards the end, but it is still painful to lose a parent. On the plus side, I am even more supported by my network of friends and family. They've been sending me flowers, food, helping with housework and being there to cheer me up. H has been around to help out as well, but despite everything, I feel lucky and I think my dad will be happy to know that I have a lot of people around me for support.
Thank you, BL42, SteveLW, Ready2Change, Kml, LH and PeterB for your wishes. I will just focus on health and family at the moment so not much DB ing or thinking about relationships happening.
I am so very sorry for your loss. Take all of the time you need to mourn the loss of your father.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Very sorry for your loss AnnKay. I lost my dad 17 years ago under similar circumstances in that he was suffering in the end so it was a relief that had ended but still, a very big loss. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of him. Really happy to hear your friends and family are supporting you and that you are focusing on your health and your family. The relationship issues can wait for sure.
Hoping the delivery of your sweet baby goes well. (((HUGS)))
Hi All, and thank you BL42 and kml for checking up on me. As an update, I have given birth to a beautiful baby girl born 5 days overdue and as expected, had to be induced. It was such an easy birth in the end, but as all newborns are, she is quite the handful, so apologies for such a delayed response.
My H is still in the spare bedroom, but is talking about taking another place nearby. He has been helpful and I am glad he was there for the birth and afterwards. I am sure though that at this point I don't have feelings for him anymore and accepted that. I am also expecting that he will run off again, so have been preparing my son and myself for whatever comes. My MIL just returned to the UK last night and I am left in my newborn bubble. I miss my MIL already. She was so good to me and my son that I wonder how she could raise someone like H.
On another note, I reconnected with my ex before H from 13 years ago in the UK. Our relationship then was not serious. We had our issues and when he left to work in another city, I took my opportunity to break it off. Somehow he ended up in Australia and divorced. We are just friends at the moment, but it is nice that he makes me feel heard and understood through my issues. I know I have other matters to focus on, and I understand that being a single mum with two children will not be an attractive trait for most men, so I am not expecting anything from this or anything at the moment.
I apologise in advance again if my replies are slow again, as my time and schedule is now solely ruled by a 2 week-old. It feels like my life at the moment is in a pause where the universe is telling me to re-evaluate my priorities and actions, but I am OK with it.
Congratulations AnnKay!! You have one of each now. Great to hear that you are doing better and that you don’t have feelings for your H anymore. That is a blessing as you are likely right about him running away again.
I am glad you have reconnected with an ex as a friend. I know you know this but just be cautious about turning it into anything more. Focus on your kids and on getting your life in order without your H.
Sending you warm long distance (((HUGS))) and wishing you and your children the very, very best!!
Congrats on the baby! Enjoy that beautiful girl :-)
Glad to hear the delivery went smoothly and you've gotten some support from your MIL and your H. Even better, that you're dropping expectations of your H - focus on yourself and the children for now. Maybe he'll come around and maybe he won't, but you'll be alright regardless.
Originally Posted by AnnKay
I apologise in advance again if my replies are slow again, as my time and schedule is now solely ruled by a 2 week-old. It feels like my life at the moment is in a pause where the universe is telling me to re-evaluate my priorities and actions, but I am OK with it.
Don't apologize! It's no joke to take care of a newborn. Just know there's people pulling for you.
Originally Posted by DejaVu6
I am glad you have reconnected with an ex as a friend. I know you know this but just be cautious about turning it into anything more. Focus on your kids and on getting your life in order without your H.
^Agreed!
Me:39 Ex-W:37 M:7 T: 9 S:6 D:3 BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20 OM1 affair ends: May '20 W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20 W files for D: Jul20 OM2 confirmed: 9/2020 Divorced: May '21
Ann, I too want to offer congratulations! Giving birth is one of the most beautiful things in a very ugly world! (I will never forget being the one to "catch" my daughter when she was born.) I hope that little one brings you lots and lots of joy!
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Hi AnnKay! I'm in the same "DB'ing as a new mom" camp as you unfortunately. How awful to have such a wonderful time spoiled - I'm 6 mos post partum and we're doing so much better everyday. Being away from the STBX was huge. You're doing way better than I was at your stage, and I'm really proud of you for realizing you no longer have feelings for him. You're worth so much more than what he put you through! and you deserve so much better.
Thank you, Ready2Change, SteveLW, BL42, kml and DejaVu6! I am just adjusting being a new mum with a toddler and a newborn. Rest is all relative, but I am determined to just enjoy the slow days as much as I could. I know I miss my 4YO when he moved out of his cot to his own bedroom, so I will just soak all the baby-ness when they are babies.
I am a little worried about how my son will react when H and I finally divorced and live away. My 4YO is such a trooper at the moment, but he is so attached to me and also close to his Dad. I guess I will just have to see.
Ann, I too want to offer congratulations! Giving birth is one of the most beautiful things in a very ugly world! (I will never forget being the one to "catch" my daughter when she was born.) I hope that little one brings you lots and lots of joy!
Thank you, Steve! wow, great job on catching your daughter when she was born. I nearly dropped mine as she was so slippery! at the moment she has brought me sleeplessness, but all good nonetheless.
Hi AnnKay - hope you had a good weekend and are getting as much rest as is possible with a newborn.
Thank you, kml. Weekends are challenging as my son is not in daycare, but we are getting there. I am just adjusting with everyone's schedules and needs and taking it easy.
Hi AnnKay! I'm in the same "DB'ing as a new mom" camp as you unfortunately. How awful to have such a wonderful time spoiled - I'm 6 mos post partum and we're doing so much better everyday. Being away from the STBX was huge. You're doing way better than I was at your stage, and I'm really proud of you for realizing you no longer have feelings for him. You're worth so much more than what he put you through! and you deserve so much better.
-NB
Hi Newborn. Thank you. I am so sorry for what you are going through right now. The road has been tough with many ups and downs for me, as a lot of posters here would probably tell you. It is good to hear that you are doing so much better. I hope you have all the support you need in going through all of these challenges. You and baby also deserve so much better and I hope one day you will look back on these days with pride of how you handled yourself in these difficult times.
Ann, I too want to offer congratulations! Giving birth is one of the most beautiful things in a very ugly world! (I will never forget being the one to "catch" my daughter when she was born.) I hope that little one brings you lots and lots of joy!
Thank you, Steve! wow, great job on catching your daughter when she was born. I nearly dropped mine as she was so slippery! at the moment she has brought me sleeplessness, but all good nonetheless.
I was coached well by the doctor. To grab her under the arms and then swoop her up on to mommy's tummy. Literally one of the greatest moments of my life!
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
I am a little worried about how my son will react when H and I finally divorced and live away. My 4YO is such a trooper at the moment, but he is so attached to me and also close to his Dad. I guess I will just have to see.
Is H still staying with you? How's that going?
Me:39 Ex-W:37 M:7 T: 9 S:6 D:3 BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20 OM1 affair ends: May '20 W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20 W files for D: Jul20 OM2 confirmed: 9/2020 Divorced: May '21
Yes H is currently still staying with me. We talked about him moving out somewhere closer and he has packed most of his big stuff up and put them in storage ready for when he finds a place. It is a little difficult for me at the moment to push him further into moving out as he is helpful with the kids, and my daughter is so young that I cannot fully function as a human being yet. Before D was born, we both agreed on a coparenting arrangement, and now we just need to hammer in the details. I know there is nothing wrong with initiating the divorce, but I kinda do wish he just followed through with his divorce threat so I don't have to be burdened with the responsibility of 'pulling the trigger.' In a way I wish I could just 'feel' the same way for H and we could get back together and life would be easier, but as time passes, I somehow feel more and more averse to staying married to him.
Once the rose-colored glasses come off, some of us can't unsee the people our spouses really are.
This is so true, kml. I cannot completely say I do not care about him, but I know continuing with him (esp if nothing changes) will be something that will make me unhappy.
Hi Everyone, I feel it has been centuries ago since I last posted. I have been busier than usual with more and more visitors coming to see the baby in the last few weeks. Handling a baby and a toddler basically on my own has been challenging, but thankfully I think I am more prepared for it. I am lucky to be able to get some help when needed and thankful that there are so many different gadgets and devices out there to help with newborns these days (and to be able to afford it, I guess).
H has been very helpful. I am also so very grateful that he is there. He cooks, takes care of the children, cleans up and has been doing errands for me. He is however, still here. We had the conversation about co-parenting. I told him that I cannot think about our relationship as how it was and he was respectful of that.
Recently, however he seems to be back to re-writing history; telling me that he didn't say that he wanted divorce because "everybody has a divorce, why can't I" and accusing that I took it wrongly that what he meant was that I should accept relationships can go through divorce. I am a bit worried about telling him to really move out of fear that he will get angry and I will have to be stuck to dealing with my children alone again. He has been sweet, and I am a little worried what to do if he is not around, especially as son is close to him. I know some friends have told me I just need to be rational, but I found myself walking on eggshells about relationship-related talks with him. I really don't know what his reactions would be.
Yesterday I talked about there is not a lot of space in the apartment to sort of segue into the conversation of him moving out. H got upset saying he has done a lot of effort, he has been helpful, he has helped clear out stuff and he was hurt. I know I should have been more controlled and calm, but at that time I was completely hurt. How dare he even used the word 'hurt' when it was me who had to deal with the broken marriage, the cheating husband, pregnancy and abandoned toddler? I was the one who had to pick up the pieces and console my son when my H left because he kept asking where daddy was, and all of these had happened not once, but twice. I didn't say anything to H then, I just retreated to my room and stopped communicating to him for the night.
My question is, how do I bring it up again or how do I make him understand the gravity of what he has done without upsetting him but also without being a doormat?
I lot of the time people end up here because they spent the relationship invalidating the WS’ feelings. Accept that your H was hurting which lead him to do what he did. Is it a good excuse for his behavior? Nope. Is it fair that he hurt you worse? Nope. I always tell LBS that when they choose to reconcile and it is questionable whether there is remorse they are going to have to eat a lot of $hit sandwiches. Does that $uck? Yep.
I get the feeling you want to punish him for what he did to you. Is there truth in it?
Hi Everyone, I feel it has been centuries ago since I last posted. I have been busier than usual with more and more visitors coming to see the baby in the last few weeks. Handling a baby and a toddler basically on my own has been challenging, but thankfully I think I am more prepared for it. I am lucky to be able to get some help when needed and thankful that there are so many different gadgets and devices out there to help with newborns these days (and to be able to afford it, I guess).
I'm glad you have support. It will help calm the fear and allow you to make the best decisions for YOU and the kids.
Originally Posted by AnnKay
H has been very helpful. I am also so very grateful that he is there. He cooks, takes care of the children, cleans up and has been doing errands for me. He is however, still here. We had the conversation about co-parenting. I told him that I cannot think about our relationship as how it was and he was respectful of that.
Good job. Parenting has nothing to do with the relationship. We have a saying around here to "applaud the 1%". Continue to do that but stay grounded that him helping out isn't "special". This is what all responsible parents should do.
Originally Posted by AnnKay
Recently, however he seems to be back to re-writing history; telling me that he didn't say that he wanted divorce because "everybody has a divorce, why can't I" and accusing that I took it wrongly that what he meant was that I should accept relationships can go through divorce. I am a bit worried about telling him to really move out of fear that he will get angry and I will have to be stuck to dealing with my children alone again. He has been sweet, and I am a little worried what to do if he is not around, especially as son is close to him. I know some friends have told me I just need to be rational, but I found myself walking on eggshells about relationship-related talks with him. I really don't know what his reactions would be.
I don't have kids but I do know what it's like to walk on eggshells. It's no way to live.
AK - you have no control over what H does. You constantly adjusting your feeling and communication out of way to "control" his behavior is a false safety net. If he wants to find a reason to leave...he will...
Originally Posted by AnnKay
Yesterday I talked about there is not a lot of space in the apartment to sort of segue into the conversation of him moving out. H got upset saying he has done a lot of effort, he has been helpful, he has helped clear out stuff and he was hurt. I know I should have been more controlled and calm, but at that time I was completely hurt. How dare he even used the word 'hurt' when it was me who had to deal with the broken marriage, the cheating husband, pregnancy and abandoned toddler? I was the one who had to pick up the pieces and console my son when my H left because he kept asking where daddy was, and all of these had happened not once, but twice. I didn't say anything to H then, I just retreated to my room and stopped communicating to him for the night.
This is a good example. Sure he may be going through the motions of work.. but his heart is very much still a WAS. You did a great job walking away.
Anger is good. It is a warning signal to tell us something is wrong!
Originally Posted by AnnKay
My question is, how do I bring it up again or how do I make him understand the gravity of what he has done without upsetting him but also without being a doormat?
This is out of your control. He's not ready to hear it yet. I would suggest letting the conversation go for now.
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
Are you legitimately afraid if his anger ( as in concerned he might cause you harm)? Or is it just uncomfortable to be around him if he has those feelings?
I would stay away from debating with him what he did or didn’t say or what he did or didn’t mean. They don’t remember half of what they said anyway.
If you have a clear timeline in which you would like him to move out, then send that to him in writing. That can help keep emotions in check. If you’re ambivalent because if the help he’s giving, then don’t bring it up until you’re ready to give him a timeline.
My question is, how do I bring it up again or how do I make him understand the gravity of what he has done without upsetting him but also without being a doormat?
I know the feeling! Would love to tell off the STBX but appreciate his help when needed. Sorry we're in the same boat.
I just ask myself: Is it worth losing the help around the house to call him out on his terrible behavior? If not, just put up with him for now until you can come up with plan B i'm afraid.
Your H's affair ended and he moved back in with you, right? And you say he's been helpful and sweet? Don't get me wrong his affair while you were pregnant was abhorrent and he definitely needs to work hard to prove himself, but this is a Divorce Busting site. It sounds like your hurt/anger/resentment for his actions is now causing you to become the distancer in asking him to leave. Perhaps IC could help you work through that? I know you have a lot on your plate right now with the toddler and newborn - you don't need to make any major decisions now - but you might consider continuing to accept his help with the kids and see how his actions related to your relationship play out.
Me:39 Ex-W:37 M:7 T: 9 S:6 D:3 BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20 OM1 affair ends: May '20 W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20 W files for D: Jul20 OM2 confirmed: 9/2020 Divorced: May '21
Your H's affair ended and he moved back in with you, right? And you say he's been helpful and sweet? Don't get me wrong his affair while you were pregnant was abhorrent and he definitely needs to work hard to prove himself, but this is a Divorce Busting site. It sounds like your hurt/anger/resentment for his actions is now causing you to become the distancer in asking him to leave.
It is true that I feel too hurt to be comfortable around having him around and I had this conversation with him. We have also discussed about what he needs to do and what we need to work together (including showing he has cut communication and ended relationship with OW and working to be more transparent financially and everything else). He has not yet done anything to address this at all. I don't like to demand too much as I will come across as nagging. H also expressed concerns about going on MC. In this conversation he agreed on moving out while we work on things, but this has not happened either. I just have this scary feeling of being a doormat again where he thinks he could do all he wants including leaving me and son twice while I was pregnant and can still come back whenever he pleases without as much as doing any effort. I am not sure if that makes me a distancer as it is something we have both discussed and agreed to, although maybe my interpretation is not thoroughly correct.
Originally Posted by BL42
know you have a lot on your plate right now with the toddler and newborn - you don't need to make any major decisions now - but you might consider continuing to accept his help with the kids and see how his actions related to your relationship play out.
I intend to do this at the moment, and as other posters pointed out as well, I don't have to make any major decisions now. It is just tiring sometimes when I already have a lot to worry about and still feel like I have to watch what I do and say around H.
I lot of the time people end up here because they spent the relationship invalidating the WS’ feelings. Accept that your H was hurting which lead him to do what he did. Is it a good excuse for his behavior? Nope. Is it fair that he hurt you worse? Nope. I always tell LBS that when they choose to reconcile and it is questionable whether there is remorse they are going to have to eat a lot of $hit sandwiches. Does that $uck? Yep.
This resonates to what I am feeling now. Yes it is a lot of *hit sandwiches that I don't think I deserve. I'm not sure at what extend I should stand this because a marriage shouldn't involve having to bear whatever c**p the other person throw at you for the sake of staying together. I guess also at the moment I just have a lot on my plate as well as being isolated by maternity leave that I am wondering, why do I even want to take him back that he doesn't even feel the gravity of what he's done while I know I will feel it forever?
Originally Posted by LH19
get the feeling you want to punish him for what he did to you. Is there truth in it?
Maybe not punishing, rather I want him to understand and acknowledge what he's done and what it makes me feel, and what it makes his son feels. If he doesn't understand and acknowledge this, how would we ever piece the marriage?
Are you legitimately afraid if his anger ( as in concerned he might cause you harm)? Or is it just uncomfortable to be around him if he has those feelings?
I'm just very uncomfortable to be around him when he's upset and I guess I still have some trauma from the time he left and betrayed me. It was 1 year after BD two days ago.
Originally Posted by kml
you have a clear timeline in which you would like him to move out, then send that to him in writing. That can help keep emotions in check. If you’re ambivalent because if the help he’s giving, then don’t bring it up until you’re ready to give him a timeline.
Thank you, kml for this suggestion. This is probably what I need to do. I am thinking of emailing him the summary/pointers of our discussion about the relationship and checklist of what we both need to do.
I'm glad you have support. It will help calm the fear and allow you to make the best decisions for YOU and the kids.
and thanks for reminding me it is about ME and the kids, and what H does is just what parents need to do, and nothing to do with our relationship. Lines do get blurry sometimes in my head and I fear that if we do have a D whether anyone will ever be as good as him with my children.
Originally Posted by Valeska19
don't have kids but I do know what it's like to walk on eggshells. It's no way to live.
Noone should live like that. How do you know enough is enough and how do you define your limits to this sort of interactions? I'm afraid that if I don't draw the line, with all the lack of sleep and stress on top of it will make me depressed and unable to care for my children.
Originally Posted by Valeska19
AK - you have no control over what H does. You constantly adjusting your feeling and communication out of way to "control" his behavior is a false safety net.
Originally Posted by Valeska19
Sure he may be going through the motions of work.. but his heart is very much still a WAS. You did a great job walking away. Anger is good. It is a warning signal to tell us something is wrong!
I can sense he is still very much WAS even if he tries to say otherwise, his actions shows differently. I know I can't control what he does, but how do I get him to work on our piecing if me communicating this is "controlling"?
Originally Posted by Valeska19
This is out of your control. He's not ready to hear it yet. I would suggest letting the conversation go for now.
Yes, I guess this is something i need to let go at the moment.
My question is, how do I bring it up again or how do I make him understand the gravity of what he has done without upsetting him but also without being a doormat?
I know the feeling! Would love to tell off the STBX but appreciate his help when needed. Sorry we're in the same boat.
I just ask myself: Is it worth losing the help around the house to call him out on his terrible behavior? If not, just put up with him for now until you can come up with plan B i'm afraid.
Thanks, Newborn. Yes, it appears that I just have to put up with it.
Based of your responses here it will be very difficult to piece. If your H is still a WS and there is no remorse or regret you would be piecing for the wrong reasons and at best kicking the can down the road.
I'm glad you have support. It will help calm the fear and allow you to make the best decisions for YOU and the kids.
and thanks for reminding me it is about ME and the kids, and what H does is just what parents need to do, and nothing to do with our relationship. Lines do get blurry sometimes in my head and I fear that if we do have a D whether anyone will ever be as good as him with my children.
I think it's important to try to remember that a D doesn't mean he won't be involved in with the kids. The only way that happens is if HE chooses to not be a dad.
Originally Posted by AnnKay
Noone should live like that. How do you know enough is enough and how do you define your limits to this sort of interactions? I'm afraid that if I don't draw the line, with all the lack of sleep and stress on top of it will make me depressed and unable to care for my children.
Honestly it's different for everyone. You won't be "done" one minute until you are ready to be. But IF you feel you want to start... you control YOUR responses. He spews venom, you walk away. He wants to rant... you walk away. He wants to threaten... you say "Ok". You stop all participation in toxic communication.
Originally Posted by AnnKay
I can sense he is still very much WAS even if he tries to say otherwise, his actions shows differently. I know I can't control what he does, but how do I get him to work on our piecing if me communicating this is "controlling"?
How do you feel he is acting differently? Based on what you post... he's not really doing anything different as a partner... only starting to show up as a father.
Also you can't "get him" to do anything. You control YOU... which speaking of... I'm a little confused. Do you want him out of the house and only work on co-parenting? Or do you want to work on the relationship.?
Consistency with your actions first begins with clarity in your mind.
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
I think it's important to try to remember that a D doesn't mean he won't be involved in with the kids. The only way that happens is if HE chooses to not be a dad.
Thank you, Valeska. I just don't want to be the one who splits him up with his children. I know what he did (not once, but twice) previously effectively split him up with his son, but I'm not like that and I'd hate to think this is not best for the children and they'll end up resenting me in the future.
Originally Posted by Valeska19
Honestly it's different for everyone. You won't be "done" one minute until you are ready to be. But IF you feel you want to start... you control YOUR responses. He spews venom, you walk away. He wants to rant... you walk away. He wants to threaten... you say "Ok". You stop all participation in toxic communication.
Yes, I can only control myself. It is just getting a little too exhausting. Maybe I'm overly tired from dealing with a newborn as well, or maybe this is my limit.
Originally Posted by Valeska19
How do you feel he is acting differently? Based on what you post... he's not really doing anything different as a partner... only starting to show up as a father.
I guess the only different thing is that he's back home and started to help me out more with chores, but yes, no real effort to "piecing" or something similar.
Originally Posted by Valeska19
Also you can't "get him" to do anything. You control YOU... which speaking of... I'm a little confused. Do you want him out of the house and only work on co-parenting? Or do you want to work on the relationship.?
You got me, Valeska. I am not entirely sure. I thought we were working on the relationship while he is living out of the house, but it seems with time he just wants to sweep everything under the rug and pretend all is good without doing the work. This frustrates me and I'm not sure how to go about it.
I think it's important to try to remember that a D doesn't mean he won't be involved in with the kids. The only way that happens is if HE chooses to not be a dad.
Thank you, Valeska. I just don't want to be the one who splits him up with his children. I know what he did (not once, but twice) previously effectively split him up with his son, but I'm not like that and I'd hate to think this is not best for the children and they'll end up resenting me in the future.
From what I've seen on this board... kids are pretty insightful. It's not your place to protect your H from his choices. And its definitely NOT best for the kids if the parents aren't in a loving relationship but are still married.
Originally Posted by AnnKay
Originally Posted by Valeska19
Honestly it's different for everyone. You won't be "done" one minute until you are ready to be. But IF you feel you want to start... you control YOUR responses. He spews venom, you walk away. He wants to rant... you walk away. He wants to threaten... you say "Ok". You stop all participation in toxic communication.
Yes, I can only control myself. It is just getting a little too exhausting. Maybe I'm overly tired from dealing with a newborn as well, or maybe this is my limit.
I bet. I would say just focus on the baby. Leave your H to his own thoughts and feelings entirely.
Originally Posted by AnnKay
Originally Posted by Valeska19
How do you feel he is acting differently? Based on what you post... he's not really doing anything different as a partner... only starting to show up as a father.
I guess the only different thing is that he's back home and started to help me out more with chores, but yes, no real effort to "piecing" or something similar.
The proof is in the pudding as they say.
Originally Posted by AnnKay
Originally Posted by Valeska19
Also you can't "get him" to do anything. You control YOU... which speaking of... I'm a little confused. Do you want him out of the house and only work on co-parenting? Or do you want to work on the relationship.?
You got me, Valeska. I am not entirely sure. I thought we were working on the relationship while he is living out of the house, but it seems with time he just wants to sweep everything under the rug and pretend all is good without doing the work. This frustrates me and I'm not sure how to go about it.
Focus on you. Your wants. Your needs. Detach. Detach. Detach!
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
