Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 9 of 11 1 2 7 8 9 10 11
Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 3,609
Likes: 87
D
DnJ Offline
Member
Offline
Member
D
Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 3,609
Likes: 87
Hello Own

That is good advice. Advice that until recently has been impossible to implement. You know me, and my very strong views of possible, perhaps you can infer the magnitude of bttrfly’s situation when I say this was impossible.

bttrfly has performed incredible efforts and has received miraculous returns. True miracles. And there has been a high cost.

I stand in awe of her, what she has endured, handled, and survived.

D


Now: Me54 XW51 S25 S23 S21 D20

Oct 8/17-BD, Moves in w/OM, Leaves Kids
Me49 W46 S20 S19 S16 D15
M26 T29
Dec 9/17-Legal Separation
Oct 3/18-W Files
Apr 6/19-Divorced

Love the Sinner, Forgive the Sin.
Joined: Mar 2017
Posts: 1,974
Likes: 27
O
Member
Offline
Member
O
Joined: Mar 2017
Posts: 1,974
Likes: 27
Yes, I wish a window would open, even for a day, and we could meet face-to-face.

Joined: May 2019
Posts: 324
Likes: 9
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: May 2019
Posts: 324
Likes: 9
Originally Posted by bttrfly
Originally Posted by AndrewP
For my own 2 cents, this is MWD's sandbox and we are privileged to play in it and should abide by the rules.
My point, exactly

Hmmmm….

The forum has the right to lay down rules and force people to comply. But as far as I know there is no rule stating that all advice needs to be on the lines of saving the marriage - whatever the cost and circumstances.

I feel looking at this as MWD’s sandbox is a narrow way of looking at things. A sandbox would be nothing but a patch of sand if no one played in it. The forum is privileged to have so many vets posting on it. There are thousands of forums on the internet and people can choose to devote their time elsewhere and this is evidenced by the recent low traffic on this forum.

Joined: May 2019
Posts: 324
Likes: 9
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: May 2019
Posts: 324
Likes: 9
It is also incorrect to assume that any advice that focuses on healing rather than actively saving the marriage is contrary to MWD’s philosophy. Her 180 method practically requires you to mentally assume that the marriage is dead and focus on yourself. Exceptions aside, most of the advice I have seen asks people to do something on these lines with the philosophy that the WAS is likely to return only when they realize that they have truly lost the LBS

Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 5,233
Likes: 109
B
bttrfly Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 5,233
Likes: 109
Originally Posted by DnJ
Hello Own

That is good advice. Advice that until recently has been impossible to implement. You know me, and my very strong views of possible, perhaps you can infer the magnitude of bttrfly’s situation when I say this was impossible.

bttrfly has performed incredible efforts and has received miraculous returns. True miracles. And there has been a high cost.

I stand in awe of her, what she has endured, handled, and survived.

D
Thx D - truth is, I had a vast amount of help and I believe Divine intervention. I'm very grateful for where we as a family are today vs last year at this time.

Miracles, indeed.


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D Final 12/23/16

If we don't look into the darkness we won't find the light.

Walk along the side of the road with a bag & you're gonna end up with a lot of trash!
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 5,233
Likes: 109
B
bttrfly Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 5,233
Likes: 109
Originally Posted by OwnIt
Yes, I wish a window would open, even for a day, and we could meet face-to-face.
I would give you such a big bear hug xoxoxo


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D Final 12/23/16

If we don't look into the darkness we won't find the light.

Walk along the side of the road with a bag & you're gonna end up with a lot of trash!
Joined: Mar 2017
Posts: 1,974
Likes: 27
O
Member
Offline
Member
O
Joined: Mar 2017
Posts: 1,974
Likes: 27
On FB, where I'm sure I come across the same way I do here, I'm obsessed with the videos of people rescuing dogs and cats who are hugging each other to survive trauma. So xoxo to you too where today it's hotter than hades in this great state.

Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 5,233
Likes: 109
B
bttrfly Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 5,233
Likes: 109
Originally Posted by OwnIt
On FB, where I'm sure I come across the same way I do here, I'm obsessed with the videos of people rescuing dogs and cats who are hugging each other to survive trauma. So xoxo to you too where today it's hotter than hades in this great state.
really hot here as well. i was so grumpy when I got home from running errands. actually thought about getting a pool, any pool, just to cool off this summer.


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D Final 12/23/16

If we don't look into the darkness we won't find the light.

Walk along the side of the road with a bag & you're gonna end up with a lot of trash!
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 5,233
Likes: 109
B
bttrfly Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 5,233
Likes: 109
PS I also love those videos!


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D Final 12/23/16

If we don't look into the darkness we won't find the light.

Walk along the side of the road with a bag & you're gonna end up with a lot of trash!
Joined: Mar 2017
Posts: 1,974
Likes: 27
O
Member
Offline
Member
O
Joined: Mar 2017
Posts: 1,974
Likes: 27
The videos on FB are great, but the best is when my friends pop in for a visit.

Page 9 of 11 1 2 7 8 9 10 11

Moderated by  Cadet, job, Virginia 

Link Copied to Clipboard