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#2933625 05/09/22 04:49 PM
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Previous Thread:

Life is Going Well Vi

Recap: WAS to a once-upon-a-time abusive XW a decade ago, LBS to an XGF of several years, single dad to a wonderful D17 and S12. Recently enjoyed dating someone named K until we had a bad weekend which was the cause of my last thread scrolling. Her finances collapsed and she's working to sell her car, switch careers, and move far away within 1-2 months.

---

While this thread looked back on that crazy weekend, my life's been racing ahead. This was "AP" week at my daughter's school so my XW gave me extra custody. I was hectic, but a very bonding time where my D felt she was up a creek without a paddle but dad came through. I only left her for two hours. I spent that time at K's. It was a rushed but delicious two hours.

This weekend I hosted my usual annual (hundreds of people) charity event. It felt wonderful to do good, chat with so many people, and utilize my attention to detail. So many underestimate the role of garnishes in playing, attentiveness to service without interrupting, the responsibility of bartenders to keep guests safe, etc. I was told it was our best in years!

My XGF stopped by. 5 minutes of talking with me and she left.

K stopped by for an hour and let the 2 ladies flirting know that we were dating. She helped me decompress with a margarita and spicy Thai chicken salad after. Saw my BFF and an old friend, too.

Hope all had a Happy Mother's Day!

Last edited by job; 05/09/22 06:51 PM. Reason: added link to previous thread


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You were ready to break up with K, decided she had a deal breaker, then you had hot sex with her and you just loved when she soothed your anxious attachment by informing women that were flirting with you that you guys are together. Yet she’s flipping her life and moving away?

Head spinning

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Originally Posted by Ginger1
Head spinning

Can we maybe get a scoreboard or a dashboard with up to the minute updates? Cuz I can’t keep up. I thought we just spent all last week discussing and debating breaking up with K while traveler, cheered on by KML, claimed that should not happen and would not happen. But now you’re still together anyhow? Is that what I’m reading (thus the need for a scoreboard).

Traveler in all out honesty, as nicely as I can say it, do you not see how scattered all of this is? You’re like a rubber ball bouncing throughout a hard walled room. I can’t help but conclude you are addicted to the drama and dysfunction. This behavior is just not healthy. I feel so bad for you that you can’t or won’t put a stop to it - and that is again 100% as honest and compassionate as I can put it. This can’t be the life you want to lead. I’m certain it’s not the life you want to model for your children - at least I hope it’s not. Imaging seeing and learning this behavior through their eyes. And yes you may not directly expose them but kids are often very smart and figure things out. They also learn how to act as adults by the behavior modeled by their parents. Look what it’s done to you. I cringe it may drop into another generation. Put your focus there - not with cray cray women.


DonH
Midwest
Me 56
WAW-EXW 55
Met 11/95 / Married 5/00
Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06
4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
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Originally Posted by Ginger
Head spinning.
I'm getting that! I strive to enjoy a thing for what it is--3 good months, a bad week/weekend where we discovered we may not be soul mates, and now the wait for her to leave. It's why I can enjoy a first date where there is no second and look back fondly on it. I hope you and Texan go far, but I hope even if you don't, the moments you shared remain precious.



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Originally Posted by Ginger1
you just loved when she soothed your anxious attachment by informing women that were flirting with you that you guys are together.
No, I didn't feel anything like that.



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Traveler,

When creating a new thread, please link your old one to your new one. Generally, I come back around and link your new thread to the old one because your thread tends to go over 100 postings and I lock the thread. Cadet and I are the only moderators and we try to accommodate all requests...but there are times when the posters can help us out just a wee bit and we appreciate any help that we can get no matter how small the effort. Thanks!


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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job, will do next time. Much appreciated!



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Thank you so much. Every little bit of help is appreciated by us.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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Originally Posted by Traveler
I'm getting that! I strive to enjoy a thing for what it is--3 good months, a bad week/weekend where we discovered we may not be soul mates, and now the wait for her to leave. It's why I can enjoy a first date where there is no second and look back fondly on it. I hope you and Texan go far, but I hope even if you don't, the moments you shared remain precious.

How are you able to separate ^^^^ with

Originally Posted by Traveler
my dating criteria is "compassionate, loyal, attractive, emotionally stable, seeking a life partner, and common interests",

Has your criteria changed? Why are you not moving forward looking for what your heart desires?

For me - I think this is where my confusion comes in. As someone who has only dated looking for a life partner... I don't tend to waste time "having fun" with someone that has an expiration date. No judgement but how can I be open to finding my true partner when I'm putting energy into a dead relationship?

Sticking around K is serving a purpose for you. What is it? And is it more valuable to finding a stable loving relationship? Where you put your time and effort is where you will see the change. The decision is up to you.


M(f): 40
D'ed: 8/12

Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.

Love at all costs because you are loved well.
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Oh, CW....I can always count on your post to give me whiplash first thing in the morning. I don't even know what to comment because I was literally astonished that K told people you were dating and you seemed happy/excited about that. You change directions more times than I change clothes on any given day. You know what, though, if it works for you, more power to you, man. You do you. I'm with Don, though...I need some sort of dashboard, pie chart, scoreboard, graph, something to keep up with the changes. wink


Me 52, H53
Bomb drop 9/29/2014
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
6 grandkids
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