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Ginger1 #2935187 06/23/22 02:46 AM
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I really hate that the edit button doesn’t work

Ginger1 #2935189 06/23/22 03:10 AM
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Originally Posted by Ginger1
I really hate that the edit button doesn’t work
Agreed, and why it works in Newcomers but not Surviving is a mystery.


Me:39 Ex-W:37
M:7 T: 9
S:6 D:3
BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20
OM1 affair ends: May '20
W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20
W files for D: Jul20
OM2 confirmed: 9/2020
Divorced: May '21
Ginger1 #2935208 06/23/22 12:15 PM
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Originally Posted by Ginger1
This guy with the young kids is super cool. He’s the one i always thought of and had no hard feelings about . I thought about him often and I was happy when he reappeared .

Remind us again why you are not with this guy.

LH19 #2935217 06/23/22 03:07 PM
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Originally Posted by LH19
Originally Posted by Ginger1
This guy with the young kids is super cool. He’s the one i always thought of and had no hard feelings about . I thought about him often and I was happy when he reappeared .

Remind us again why you are not with this guy.

Recently divorced. Very young kids, his ex just gave birth to a baby from AP. Not much time or energy to give at all.

However, he is a real nice laid back guy, he’s fun, good chemistry, lives close,
Great dad, but not the kind that has to shout from rooftops “my kids are my world and my number one priority!!” He just does his dad thing. Needs no accolades . I admire that very much.
It will likely not go anywhere. But it can be fun when we can get together

Ginger1 #2935220 06/23/22 03:42 PM
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Originally Posted by Ginger1
Originally Posted by LH19
Originally Posted by Ginger1
This guy with the young kids is super cool. He’s the one i always thought of and had no hard feelings about . I thought about him often and I was happy when he reappeared .

Remind us again why you are not with this guy.

Recently divorced. Very young kids, his ex just gave birth to a baby from AP. Not much time or energy to give at all.

However, he is a real nice laid back guy, he’s fun, good chemistry, lives close,
Great dad, but not the kind that has to shout from rooftops “my kids are my world and my number one priority!!” He just does his dad thing. Needs no accolades . I admire that very much.
It will likely not go anywhere. But it can be fun when we can get together
Sounds like a great guy. Does he drink, gamble, have two ex wives, racist and needy? So remind us again why you are not together with this guy.

Ginger1 #2935221 06/23/22 03:52 PM
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So - did you break up with him before, or was he just not calling?

I ask because I can see a pattern in my younger days. I’d start dating a guy, be interested and hoping it would turn into a relationship. The guy would appear not that interested - either making dates infrequently, or not in advance. I would decide he wasn’t that interested in me, and give up, moving on. At times that was certainly the right interpretation, but in retrospect, many of those guys just needed more time - I’ve been surprised to find out later that to some of them, I was the “one that got away”.

Ginger1 #2935223 06/23/22 04:05 PM
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He has 1 ex wife and she is a kook, but their communication is better and they can coparent .

He drinks, but is not an alcoholic. He does not gamble. He plays guitar in a band for fun. He’s not needy at all. He is not racist. We actually have long time mutual friends.

We are not together because of KML’s reasons. He didn’t really put in effort to make dates. His life was too complicated at the time. He couldn’t give me what I wanted and understandably so. He wasn’t all about the effort, just to hang out when it happened to work itself out .

So we aren’t “together” for that reason. But he’s the one guy I had wished was at a different stage in his life. This time I’m going to just go with the flow . And if I decide I would rather pursue a relationship elsewhere, I will

Ginger1 #2935225 06/23/22 04:17 PM
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Originally Posted by Ginger1
This time I’m going to just go with the flow . And if I decide I would rather pursue a relationship elsewhere, I will
Seems like the perfect approach.

Maybe he's just (understandably) busy w/young kids right now and things might flourish as his time frees up in the future. Or, maybe you'll find another relationship in the meantime. Either way you're enjoy life and happy. Sounds like the whole idea of detachment and DB'ing principles.


Me:39 Ex-W:37
M:7 T: 9
S:6 D:3
BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20
OM1 affair ends: May '20
W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20
W files for D: Jul20
OM2 confirmed: 9/2020
Divorced: May '21
Ginger1 #2935226 06/23/22 04:29 PM
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Originally Posted by Ginger1
We are not together because of KML’s reasons. He didn’t really put in effort to make dates. His life was too complicated at the time. He couldn’t give me what I wanted and understandably so. He wasn’t all about the effort, just to hang out when it happened to work itself out .
Hmmm. So the 3 short term relationships I had post divorce I was able to give about two days to these woman per week. Was he offering that and if so why did you need more than that? Aren't we all super busy chasing excellence?

Ginger1 #2935237 06/23/22 05:01 PM
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No, he wasn’t offering that. I don’t have much more than 2 days a week myself. He was offering last minute maybe once a week. That didn’t work for me

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