Evolution is done with me. Thanks to a little procedure I had done 30 years ago, I will never father another child.
Grrr - 28 years ago - My Kingdom for the Edit Button
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
I hear you about the edit button. We have had a discussion about this button on Dawn's thread this morning. I did go back into your post and changed the years from 30 to 28 for you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
It's surprising the number of adults that are out there that have challenges with what I feel are basic life skills.
I'd suggest that which life skills are "basic" depends on one's circumstances. Ms. Sunshine has an astounding income--and doesn't cook, clean, or do laundry. K's income is much lower and so the absence of those skills impacts her ability to thrive. I've gone from having a weekly housekeeper and dishwasher and microwave to not. Transitions require adjustment.
Originally Posted by AndrewP
I expect that a significant number of people who are available to date are single for very good reasons. I've encountered a number of those both in real life and in various online communities. There may or may not be a correlation between that "type" of person and the ones who have a burning "need" to partner up. I don't know.
I'm not sure either. I was reading a research paper where their hypothesis was that SINGLES are more likely to be anxiously attached, but when then they controlled for AGE that correlation disappeared (young people were more anxious AND less likely to be married). Medium wrote an article about our society's "Deficit Narrative" around choosing to be single. I'm sure we both know people with issues who are single and who are partnered up.
Originally Posted by AndrewP
Perhaps I'm an outlier given that some seem to put a lot of effort and stress into it and are unsatisfied.
According to a Pew research study I posted here before, 51%+ of us guys feel through online dating we can find women we're attracted to, who we want to meet, who share interests and hobbies. We may be outliers for men on this forum (men who've loved and been divorced), but we seem on par with the population in general.
Originally Posted by AndrewP
My favourite author - Terry Pratchett - once wrote about one of his characters being trapped in a hall of mirrors and was told that the only way they could escape was to find "the real one". She looked down at her boots and said "this one".
I'm ashamed I'm a sci-fi fan who never read Discworld. Adding that to my Audible queue.
Originally Posted by AndrewP
I've been "eating down" my pantry recently and need to stock up on some things now. And some are coming up to that which is why I will be using some mushroom soup as the base for the sauce for today's chicken and potato casserole. The garden is growing nicely and I've been able to have fresh lettuce for my sandwiches for the past week. Tomatoes should be getting ripe soon as well so I need to make room in my meal planning for that.
I'd suggest that which life skills are "basic" depends on one's circumstances.
I can accept that. Certainly once I get a couple of decades older I don't expect that I'll be cutting my own grass.
And on the other side what would be acceptable to some wouldn't be to others. I would have no issue with dating someone who doesn't know how to iron a shirt, but I would someone who can't balance their chequebook.
So Ms. Sunshine, "K" and yourself would not be dating prospects for me - I hope that doesn't make you too sad
Originally Posted by Traveler
I'm ashamed I'm a sci-fi fan who never read Discworld. Adding that to my Audible queue.
He's more fantasy and social commentary author than sci-fi in his Discworld series. His writing has a combination of kindness and deep seated anger that is quite compelling. One of his favourite authors GK Chesterton also has a similar style. His story "The Man Who Was Thursday" was very compelling to me.
The Pratchett story I reference is from his novel "Witches Abroad" which can be read stand-alone if you want an introduction to his style and themes.
Originally Posted by Traveler
Mad Skillz!
Last night's casserole was decent and did use up some ingredients before they expired. The most expensive things you can have are those you throw out without using. Don't know how mad those skills are compared to your much more complicated sounding endeavours
For anyone interested ...
- chop up and lightly boil until tender 1 potato and 1 onion (about 20 minutes) in an oven safe pot. - cook up some protein in bite-sized pieces. I use either a small amount of chicken or pork depending on what I have. - shred a decent amount of cheese into a bowl. I use whatever is open plus a scoop of cottage cheese - my own preference. Shredded parmesan adds to the flavour and I usually have some on hand. - chop up some misc veggies like sweet peppers or tomatoes - sauté these if you are feeling ambitious (but not the tomatoes - they don't sauté well) - drain the potato / onion, toss everything in the bowl with pepper and / or whatever spices you fancy to taste and pour back into the pot to bake - top with some breadcrumbs - bake in the oven @350F for 30 minutes - let sit for 10 minutes to set and then serve
Makes about enough for 2 adult servings with a side dish or one if you've had a long day and not bothered making other meals or side dishes. With the right random ingredients it covers a lot of the food groups. Depending on what was added it may be a bit "saucy" in the bottom. I know that if I put in a lot of tomatoes or my mushroom soup version from last night was.
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One of the challenges with thinking about dating outside of the OLD world is that it is so very difficult to identify if someone is both available and interested. I've been wondering if the lady who owns the flower shop I go to has had a change in status. She's had a long-term fella where they each have their own spaces. In the past she's not worn any sort of ring but has put one on in recent times. I had been thinking of extending congratulations but noticed yesterday that it seems to be some basic "costume" type. Or I could be wrong. I do know that many women will wear a ring to keep random people from thinking they are available.
She certainly seems to be one of those who has the full suite of life skills. She's been running her shop for over 20 years and is creative and modestly successful. Her one son just left the nest and is gainfully employed. The fella she was (is?) seeing isn't her son's father as far as I can know.
She has a kind heart and is always pleasant to chat with. The reason I'm wondering about a change is that she's seemed "down" for the last few months and has cut back staff and hours on her shop. Being as I am no judge of women's ages, I would think that she's maybe 5 years younger than me. Maybe more, but not a lot more.
I may mention that if she would like someone different to chat with that I'm easy to find - that should be both fairly obvious and also non-threatening. She actually does know where I live (which I never told her) as she has on her own had flowers delivered to the house (during the first Covid lock-down) and has made some mentions that indicate that she's driven past and noticed this or that about the house and property.
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Quiet day planned. My black currants are ripe so I'm going to pick a bowl of those for the freezer after carefully separating out the spiders from the currants. The spiders I believe are the bits with legs. Going to put on a pot of chili for the day. The ground beef in the freezer is about 2 months old so a candidate for the "needs eating up" list. That with some fresh bread and a dollop of yogurt and shredded cheese should make a nice dinner. Probably go for a bit of a wander around the village and poke at things with my stick. My son might stop by later. I'd made BBQ sauce for when I had ribs and there's lots left over that he said he could use.
Ah - the hedonistic lifestyle of the rural bachelor. I'm sure there's a Hallmark movie with this back-story for one of the characters
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
I have noticed that you always wait for women to chase after you or ask you out. You were actively pursued by B and s and you knew that there would be no rejection.
You say “ flower girl knows my availability and where to find me “ Andrew, she is going to go after you. You need to make a move. It shows confidence and interest. What’s the worst that happens? She says “no thanks ?” LH is right .
You mention your desire for a partner . But they aren’t going to fall into your lap. And the ones that do have an agenda of sorts. And were still married .
oh no that's bath salts lady. I can't keep up with my newborn sleep schedule...
Andrew. Ask her if she'd like to grab a cup of coffee sometime.
Keep it simple.
If I dated every guy who was interested in me in my life there would have been an incredible amount of bad matches. Go for the ones who peak YOUR interest and keep it cas ... you can do it !
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
Andy P be direct. “Would you like to grab a drink sometime”? If she is interested she will say yes if she is not she will likely let you down easy.
Originally Posted by Ginger1
I have noticed that you always wait for women to chase after you or ask you out. You were actively pursued by B and s and you knew that there would be no rejection.
You say “ flower girl knows my availability and where to find me “ Andrew, she is going to go after you. You need to make a move. It shows confidence and interest. What’s the worst that happens? She says “no thanks ?” LH is right .
You mention your desire for a partner . But they aren’t going to fall into your lap. And the ones that do have an agenda of sorts. And were still married .
Will ya look at this, LH and Ginger (and DonhH) all agree! If you’re waiting to be 100% sure a woman is interested you’re going to be waiting a long time. Some woman will make their interest clear but far fewer will ask you out. And yes, some of those who do, you’re best off avoiding.
Just ask. You may be surprised how many more accept than you thought would. And yes, if they say no it’s no big deal. Plus at this age, it’s highly unlikely they will be brutal about it or laugh in your face saying no way dude! We’re not in 8th grade anymore.
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
If she’s wearing a ring on her left ring finger I would assume it’s there to ward off suitors. That doesn’t stop you from inviting her out for a friendly cup of coffee and offering a sympathetic ear though.
