[/quote] I asked because I wondered what you were comparing it to, in terms of countries. I know our food is pretty awful, generally speaking, compared to other places.
I live in Australia BF, and I agree the food is generally not great in the US, but have found Miami, LA, NYC have pretty great food.
Mainly I was just trying to stir LH up, no doubt he would have jumped on a similarly unfounded comment like his one.[/quote] ha. I get it. The lure of tweaking LH ....
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
Vacation is going along decently although as usual I've not accomplished nearly what I wanted to thus far. I still am off until next Wednesday. Given the nice weather today I hope to get all the windows and doors open and give my floors their annual good scrubbing.
I finished getting my tiny garden together yesterday planting some spinach, lettuce and chives alongside the flowers, peppers and tomatoes. I find mixing vegetables in with the flowers provides a nice esthetic.
It took a surprising amount of time to recover from my trip to see the kids. I expected to be out of commission for much of the day I got back, but was actually out for a couple of days. "Mind you" I didn't take it quite as easy as I could have doing several loads of laundry, groceries and house-cleaning. I did get in a fair amount of sitting and also watched some movies I wanted to see. I'd almost forgotten how long Lawrence of Arabia was - such strong performances. I do wonder how close to the mark Peter O'Toole got to the real TE Lawrence. I suspect fairly close. At the time the movie was made they certainly would have been able to talk to people who knew the real man.
Only a small grocery shop today and I'll get my roses for the first time in a few weeks. I have brunch planned with my son tomorrow and I'll see if he wants some of my surplus seeds for his window-box planter.
I have appointments with my cardiologist on Monday and Tuesday - I expect to be diagnosed as a middle-aged overweight man who probably should get out more.
One bit of odd news. I was chatting with a neighbour who happens to be the local handy-man. He was responsible for renovating the apartment that my xW moved into after she left but lost all sympathy for her after that when he found out "why" she left. Anyhoo - he asked me yesterday if I knew where she was moving to - he seems to think that she's moving although he has said that he hasn't seen any "for sale" signs on her house. I responded that I had no information on anything - I just send the cheque every month and every month she keeps staying away.
Ah well - time for a quick shower then errands and a wander around the village to check out our community yard sale. Not that I need anything, but it will nice to get an airing.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
An added bonus to flowers and veggies interspersed is that some flowers have great anti-pest properties. Marigolds and zinnias, along with some herbs, are great insect repellents and will keep bugs off your veggies. Companion plantings are a great way to keep a garden site healthy in an organic way.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
What gave him the impression your ex was moving? He could be mistaken, or they could be downsizing in anticipation of the end of her alimony, or maybe she’s cheated on him and has a bigger sucker on the line. Who knows? More importantly, who cares? So long as it doesn’t affect the kids. Our exes have fired us from the job of worrying about them.
What gave him the impression your ex was moving? He could be mistaken, or they could be downsizing in anticipation of the end of her alimony, or maybe she’s cheated on him and has a bigger sucker on the line. Who knows? More importantly, who cares? So long as it doesn’t affect the kids. Our exes have fired us from the job of worrying about them.
No clue. He is fairly well plugged in to the local gossip though.
Downsizing is very unlikely given how tiny their house is although we had always talked about moving into a single-story townhouse in our mid-50s in large part because there was an expectation that her mobility issues would be increasing. Their house may or may not have a usable second story. No clue. Given the cost of rent around here, anyone who has a mortgage they can afford would be foolish to go into a rental if they can avoid it.
One or the other cheating is certainly a possibility given their obvious lack of morals in the past. He'd probably be able to find someone willing more easily than her. I can't see her going further down the evolutionary ladder - she always liked the finer things and someone who would be interested in boinking a 57 year old overweight woman who has a lot of hip pain could certainly choose someone more - shall we say - flexible and available. She did have a charming smile though.
I also doubt that she has had some sort of epiphany and is wanting to rebuild her life anew. She was always good at not taking much responsibility for things.
I expect that my neighbour was mistaken in the gossip he passed along.
PS - had a nice brunch with my son today. He's settling in to his new job well by the sounds of it and is more up-beat than I've seen in a while. He was happy to hear the news about his sister and brother-in-law and his cat is doing well. We have tentative plans to go out mini-golfing on Father's Day - a traditional activity for us on Father's Day.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Good luck on your fasting for blood work. I hope you get some good news at the cardiologist's office.
Enjoy the rest of your week and do not overdo it.
Well - it has been scientifically proven yet again that I'm an overweight middle-aged man. My cardiologist has adjusted some of my meds to bring my blood pressure down some more and chastised me well for my weight gain in the 2 years since he last saw me. Presumably nothing too worrisome was seen in the echo-cardiogram nor in the stress test.
I am back up to my pre-bomb-day weight vs the 50lbs less that I was shortly after. I know exactly how I lost the weight back then and have a plan that just has to be implemented. It's based on standard limited portions for breakfast and lunch during the work week and no dinner except for perhaps a light and healthy snack. The weekends are open. I have to get back out walking again regularly as I firmly believe that moderate and more importantly regular exercise is key to having everything move along.
Just have to do it.
Back to work starting on Thursday with probably no more time off until the early fall. My working from home (a big part of the issue since the fridge and stove have been handy for the last 2 years) will be minimal.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Not much happening in the Land of P lately. Back at the plant on Thursday and Friday. It was good to be back. Thursday was meetings and then I ended up getting locked out of the main office when everyone else went home and I was still out in the plant catching up with the operators. Fortunately I had my car keys on me otherwise I would have had to dig out the backup key from where it is stored.
We have a couple of new staff out there and they seem to be coming up to speed ok. One was surprised I think to see someone in a pressed shirt and bow tie in the lunch room during break. On Fridays the guys get Western sandwiches from a local coffee shop and I was in there enjoying mine. Introduced myself as "the guy who nobody knows what he does".
The plant's been running fairly well the last few weeks. We've had some challenges with one of our critical raw material with an over-supply issue and there's some maintenance that will need to be done soon but over-all all was good and the trucks and railcars kept rolling without me.
Let's see - what else.
There was I think a hatch of baby spiders in my car which was disturbing seeing them abseiling down in the general direction of my mug.
I also saw my xW's car both at her house and leaving the village I live in so she's still around and presumably living her life and has places to go and things to do.
20S came by and picked up some of the larger and heavier items she'd been storing here with a promise to get more. Her newest boyfriend is going through a very difficult divorce, custody issues, lots of blaming, police reports yadda yadda yadda. He also has pretty much no furniture as that vanished one day so 20S is taking her's. He and his wife split in February and I think that 20S and he have been dating since about May. Yikes. In other news, she said that she and my son have been hanging out again which just is a bit baffling but - ok - good. They were best friends for a long time and it's nice seeing my son being social. She said that he told her he's wanting to start dating so since she knows a lot of the women they went to school with etc, that is an entry point I suppose.
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I've been debating tossing my own pennies into the mucky pond of the MLC discussion. I've made no secret that despite my belief (and hope) that it was a real thing when I was going through witnessing my wife making choices that were odds with the person I thought she was, that I don't believe in it as an actual "medical condition".
Yes - it could be a catch-all term for how some people deal poorly with past trauma, but I still firmly believe that unless there are over-riding issues around mental illness, addiction etc that adults have agency. They are the masters of their own destiny and are accountable for the impacts of the choices they make.
I used to hope for my xW to have some sort of epiphany and change from the path she chose but know full well now that that is something completely out of my control or influence.
Will that happen? No clue. What impact would that have on me? I can't think how that could change anything for me. It's nice for the kids that she seems to have a relationship with them, better I believe than it had been.
She's just someone who I used to know, albeit someone who I still have curiosity about just like the actress I used to know back in the day who is doing well for herself. I keep half an eye on what they are up to, wish them well and don't intrude on their lives other than to occasionally press "like" on the actress's social media.
Now with all that said, in many ways mine was a much more mild case than others here. I was (largely) treated with respect as a human being throughout the process although when she was on the high of her affair and "getting away with it", she wasn't very nice to me. But the bizarre behaviour that some like HaWho's husband showed or our poster child "J". Mine had an affair that she said "just happened" (which is a load of hooey) kept me on the shelf as a backup plan for some months until I had enough of that.
The fact that her actions were the antithesis of the person I thought she was and that she espoused to be are more or less irrelevant.
Certainly there are issues around her past and the ending of our marriage that she could perhaps use some professional help in coming to terms with. I don't know. For all I know she's perfectly at peace now with both her choices and the repercussions of them.
Setting aside if I may the possible mental illness that my also be affecting these people, infidelity is by it's very nature a selfish act of entitlement. There are many people out there who have traumas they struggle to deal with that aren't unfaithful to their partners. They may end their marriages and perhaps in a dramatic fashion, but without infidelity. It takes a special type of b@st@rd who can believe that they have the "right" to lie, cheat, steal and that the victim just has to stand there and take it.
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At some point perhaps we may end up having to be in the same room, perhaps even with OM for something like a wedding. As others have stated clearly, and I agree, a wedding is about the couple getting married and is not a place to air the grievances of others. I would be able to be respectful but under no circumstances could I imagine doing anything jointly with her. Not even make small talk. The person she was the last time we interacted is someone I don't like and I have every right to not interact with those who I don't want to. The word "no" is a complete sentence.
Yes, we have children that we are both parents too, but as those who have followed along can attest, we don't parent them jointly which is an occasional source of frustration for me.
Beyond that I can't think of any circumstances where we would ever interact. Even if she and OM split up, again, that has nothing to do with me. The person I last saw was someone who I don't want in my life.
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Ah well - enough rambling for now. I'm caught up on groceries and there's a combination craft show / book sale a couple of towns over that I'm going to head out to.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Is MLC a real thing? Yes - sometimes. The fear of aging and one’s own mortality, often triggered by milestone birthdays or empty nests, can trigger a panicky feeling that they are missing out on something.
Is that an excuse for infidelity? Nope. Do some of them have underlying depression or mental illness? Sure. Can it be a form of temporary insanity for some? Yes.
But in many cases, the “MLCer” has underlying character and/or personality disorder issues that were always there, but better hidden. I think that’s why some of us are still trying to unravel exactly who we were actually married to, because the reality is so different from the way they appeared.
Happy Father's Day to all. I'm going to be heading off to have brunch with my son shortly. We were supposed to go and play mini-putt but he couldn't find a course that was both local and that he could be confident was open. A lot of those businesses closed in the last few years.
I'd always wanted to run one of those places. They have a combination of engineering and whimsy that appeals.
He surprised me yesterday afternoon by stopping by. He was going to hang out with one of his friends in the village and wanted to leave his car here. Since I noticed he had a cooler of beer with him I reminded him that he could crash here if he wanted and made up a cot in one of the spare rooms for him. He didn't take advantage of it but I think appreciated that it was an option.
I did have an odd thing happen on Saturday while out running errands. I got an automated notification from my security system that one of the cameras had failed - the one pointing out the front of the house. That happens from time to time which is why I have an alert set for such things.
So I logged on and reset it and noticed what looked like my xW's unique car driving past the house. Probably on her way to somewhere. This is the second time in recent weeks that I've seen her passing through the village. It's like the old joke - "A black cat crossing in front of a person signifies that the animal is going somewhere". I don't really worry too much about anyone breaking into here but it does give me some peace of mind that I can do some monitoring of the main ways in. I live on the main street that is also the main road from the town she lives in to most places south of here so it's not out of her way depending on where she's going. I drive past her house too - it's on my way to the flower shop which is around the corner from her.
I can't imagine that she's checking up on me. Nothing to see really and if she chose to be informed, it's pretty easy to see what's going on in my life. Which is really not much. It is coming up to her 57th birthday in a few days and there's some peonies that she used to be very attached to that she said always bloomed just for her on her birthday. In fact all three beds of peonies are looking lovely right now. I did have a bowl of them in the house earlier last week and may do that again. The bright colours and lovely scent really brighten the place up. I just have to remember to let them sit on my outside bench for a while after cutting them for the ants that live inside the blooms to wander off.
Been having some weird dreams again - a full house of "family" in the dream that I seem to know well and am comfortable with, but don't recognize as people I currently know seems to be a common theme. Perhaps a sign that someone new might be coming into my life. No clue. I have a "complex" relationship with the universe. At times I feel that it sends me signs however am also a skeptic about that sort of thing. Willing to give it the benefit of the doubt I suppose. Even though I'm not an actual engineer, I've been around and involved in engineering for long enough to recognize that things don't always make sense but somehow seem to work (or fail) regardless. Certainly the end of my marriage was an example of that
I'm getting closer I think to wanting to date again - perhaps in the fall when I'll have some more time. I might reach out to one of the available local women I know to see if they are interested in getting together for coffee / light brunch.
In other news my daughter has finally crossed the border to visit her bestie for the first time in some years to celebrate her 30th birthday. Wow - I'm the father of a 30 year old. It doesn't bother me much although given her attitudes about aging it might be bothering her mother. Math is a thing though.
Today should be moderately low key. Yesterday I over-did it a bit but did manage to get all of the yard work done. I alternated between heavier tasks like cutting the grass (hilly lawn) with lower impact laundry and weeding. I was still pretty achy and tired by the end of the day so it was early to bed. Today is balancing the chequebook which I do weekly, brunch and my ironing. I was talking to a neighbour yesterday and she mentioned that she has her elderly mother's heavy duty ironing board available for her next yard sale so I'll check that out.
I have a small wild duck that was a gift from SIL2's Dad as part of him cleaning out his freezer some months ago just before he passed that I'll roast up today for my dinner. It was very thoughtful of them to pass that along. I'm not sure how best to prepare it but will probably roast it with some onions and herbs. I'll set the bones aside to make some broth later in the week.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
