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It's not a first date, it's a first meeting!

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Good conversation and attraction are good grounds for a second date. Have fun w/lawyer tomorrow!


Me:39 Ex-W:37
M:7 T: 9
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BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20
OM1 affair ends: May '20
W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20
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Originally Posted by kml
It's not a first date, it's a first meeting!
Yes, this is what I have to wrap my head around if I do another "coffee date". It's a coffee meeting! The date comes next time. It just feels so.. zero effort. The only lady I met for coffee was a cute lawyer and she shared her digits and suggested a real date. I never responded. I'll do better to get over this hang-up next time someone strongly prefers coffee!



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Originally Posted by Traveler
Originally Posted by kml
It's not a first date, it's a first meeting!
Yes, this is what I have to wrap my head around if I do another "coffee date". It's a coffee meeting! The date comes next time. It just feels so.. zero effort. The only lady I met for coffee was a cute lawyer and she shared her digits and suggested a real date. I never responded. I'll do better to get over this hang-up next time someone strongly prefers coffee!

I'm not a coffee drinker, but some people are just obsessed with it. I always said yes to coffee dates because coffee shops usually have other options. It is an easy, no frills, inexpensive first meet-up just to see if you gee haw with the person.


Me 52, H53
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Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
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Daytime coffee dates have their pros and cons . Easy escape if you need it. But it does feel more like an interview. Hard to form a romantic sort of connection. It’s just the not the atmosphere for it.
The “it was nice meeting you but I don’t feel a romantic connection” is pretty common after those.

Or there was the time time I had a day time coffee “meeting” at DD and little did I know he was interviewing me to be his Saturday sex partner between the hours of 10-3 and he had a huge foot fetish and mine fit the bill. It was summer and i was wearing sandals. He told me all of that after what I thought was a nice innocent meeting. Along with a dik pic

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Originally Posted by Ginger1
he had a huge foot fetish and mine fit the bill. It was summer and i was wearing sandals. He told me all of that after what I thought was a nice innocent meeting..
Inquiring minds want to know--how did you reply?!



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I’m more of a ball pic guy. I definitely do not recommend coffee dates for people under 60.


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�Happiness equals reality minus expectations�- Magliozzi
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Originally Posted by Traveler
The only lady I met for coffee was a cute lawyer and she shared her digits and suggested a real date. I never responded.

Why not? Cute, clearly interested… why would you ghost her? I dint get it.

Originally Posted by LH19
I definitely do not recommend coffee dates for people under 60.

Again , I find myself asking why not? Because you didn’t hook up? Sounds like you’re interested. Sounds like you may go in a real first date? So what was the harm or what was the downside?


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Originally Posted by DonH
Why not? Cute, clearly interested… why would you ghost her? I dint get it.
Don, I guess the other ladies I met that week were willing to invest a weekday evening into the possibility of romance and adventure with a true, fun first date. I prioritized the ladies I had fun with, and by the time I remembered her, time had passed. No regrets--cute, interested ladies aren't rare--but I like kml's take that coffee "dates" aren't dates. If I see them as just a "meeting" some want before a real date, I'll have more on-point expectations the next time I agree to one.



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Originally Posted by Ginger1
Or there was the time time I had a day time coffee “meeting” at DD and little did I know he was interviewing me to be his Saturday sex partner between the hours of 10-3 and he had a huge foot fetish and mine fit the bill. It was summer and i was wearing sandals. He told me all of that after what I thought was a nice innocent meeting. Along with a dik pic
Wow. I don't even know what to say. Hence the reason women are guarded and jaded about men and online dating...


Me:39 Ex-W:37
M:7 T: 9
S:6 D:3
BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20
OM1 affair ends: May '20
W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20
W files for D: Jul20
OM2 confirmed: 9/2020
Divorced: May '21
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