I don't know what kinds of assets there are or whether you're in a community property state. Just be careful about certain things. Division of pensions should go through QDRO. Alimony may be by a formula in your state, but can always be negotiated I think. If you are keeping the house and giving away something in it's place, beware of one things - high property values at present may be inflated - will you still be happy with the deal if property values crash and you've given away a lot of money to keep the house? Or is the house still a good fit for you and something you want to keep long term and can afford?
Does she have an obligation to contribute to your sons' college expenses?
They is STBXW and her L. Home has been paid off for 15+ years. It is a modest 3br ranch that fits me and the boys just fine. I just valued it based on a few comps that sold in the neighborhood. I plan on having agreement reviewed by a L before I sign of course. Since I live in a community property state it is pretty much a 50/50 split. I get to keep the house, all life insurance, vehicle etc. All they want to divide is retirement accounts (no pensions just IRAs), 2 investment accounts, and 50% home value. Pretty simple calculation. Surprised they screwed it up.
S22 is graduated. S20 has one more year of undergrad and potentially law school $$$. I’m not even going to ask for her to contribute unless they get snippy. I currently make 4x what she does so not worth quibbling over at this point. I am in a great place financially although I may need to work a few more years than originally planned to recoup the losses.
Taz
Last edited by Taz; 01/11/2202:34 AM. Reason: Add
M57 (53@BD) XW55 (50@BD) S24 (20@BD) S22 (19@BD) Married 25 (22@BD) Together 28 BD 9/29/19 (moved out unannounced while I was on fishing trip) W filed 10/19/20 (Informed me via text) D final 11/10/22
STBXW has not seen S22 or S20 since Mother’s Day. She dropped off Xmas gifts for both on the front porch on 1/7. She only lives 3 miles away seems odd she waited till both were gone and won’t be back for a couple months.
This is the most bizarre thing to me - not that it's unique to your situation - but how can a parent and especially mother completely cut off and ignore their children? I get the WAS/WS blaming the LBS (even if it's misguided/misdirected), but the children? I guess it goes to show sometimes people are just running away from anything in their past to be happy.
Originally Posted by Taz
I’m still galling and becoming more detached every day.
Glad to hear it!
Originally Posted by DnJ
Before signing any agreement let a lawyer look it over.
Originally Posted by kml
Yes, definitely get a lawyer to review.
Originally Posted by Taz
I plan on having agreement reviewed by a L before I sign of course.
Completely agree on having a L review before making anything official. You don't have to tell her you're doing so or have the L involved, but it's important agreement and justifies a professional review even if it's just for peace of mind that you didn't miss anything.
Me:39 Ex-W:37 M:7 T: 9 S:6 D:3 BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20 OM1 affair ends: May '20 W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20 W files for D: Jul20 OM2 confirmed: 9/2020 Divorced: May '21
Please start a new thread and link both threads together.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
M57 (53@BD) XW55 (50@BD) S24 (20@BD) S22 (19@BD) Married 25 (22@BD) Together 28 BD 9/29/19 (moved out unannounced while I was on fishing trip) W filed 10/19/20 (Informed me via text) D final 11/10/22
