Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
#2928278 01/11/22 03:13 PM
Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 96
Likes: 3
T
Taz Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 96
Likes: 3

Last edited by Taz; 01/11/22 03:17 PM.

M57 (53@BD)
XW55 (50@BD)
S24 (20@BD) S22 (19@BD)
Married 25 (22@BD) Together 28
BD 9/29/19 (moved out unannounced while I was on fishing trip)
W filed 10/19/20 (Informed me via text)
D final 11/10/22
Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 96
Likes: 3
T
Taz Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 96
Likes: 3


M57 (53@BD)
XW55 (50@BD)
S24 (20@BD) S22 (19@BD)
Married 25 (22@BD) Together 28
BD 9/29/19 (moved out unannounced while I was on fishing trip)
W filed 10/19/20 (Informed me via text)
D final 11/10/22
Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 96
Likes: 3
T
Taz Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 96
Likes: 3
Wow,

It took me two years to exhaust my first thread. I come here and read daily but don't post much. My STBXW is a vanisher. I've not spoken to her in over a year but get a business text every few months. My Sons are growing up and I still support them as needed. They have minimal contact with her.


It amazes me how the long time posters on here are typically 100% correct when diagnosing the MCLers. I would have swore my wife was not in an EA or PA in the first year of my situation. I came to find out however that she was in a fantasy EA with a 17 year old high school high boy who she met while chaperoning a school Europe trip 6 months prior to BD. This explains her obsessing over the HS football and basketball teams the first year of BD as he was on the teams. A friend clued me into this about 6 moths ago. It gave me the answers that I needed. She is messed up.

I'm doing well. Got great friends and family support. I have no issues living alone. Have been working out like a madman and galling at every opportunity. looking forward to a great 2022.

Taz


M57 (53@BD)
XW55 (50@BD)
S24 (20@BD) S22 (19@BD)
Married 25 (22@BD) Together 28
BD 9/29/19 (moved out unannounced while I was on fishing trip)
W filed 10/19/20 (Informed me via text)
D final 11/10/22
Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 4,644
Likes: 472
D
DnJ Online
Member
Online
Member
D
Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 4,644
Likes: 472
Hello Taz

It’s nice when we get some validation/proof of our situation. And wow, your STBXW was smitten with a high school lad. Yep, these poor folks are lost.

Glad to hear you are doing well and looking forward to the upcoming year.

Originally Posted by Taz
They is STBXW and her L.

Oh, definitely have your own L involved. BTW, I was pretty sure you would and was happy to read you had that plan in place.

Great news about S22 being graduated. Is he having any luck getting some job offers in his field?

Take care.

D


Feelings are fleeting.
Be better, not bitter.
Love the person, forgive the sin.
Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 96
Likes: 3
T
Taz Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 96
Likes: 3
Originally Posted by DnJ
Great news about S22 being graduated. Is he having any luck getting some job offers in his field?

D,

Yes S22 is working as a field service engineer for a industrial equipment manufacturer. He is currently living in Denver and spends most of his time working in California. He seems happy which is all we can ask as parents.


M57 (53@BD)
XW55 (50@BD)
S24 (20@BD) S22 (19@BD)
Married 25 (22@BD) Together 28
BD 9/29/19 (moved out unannounced while I was on fishing trip)
W filed 10/19/20 (Informed me via text)
D final 11/10/22
Joined: Mar 2017
Posts: 1,979
Likes: 33
O
Member
Offline
Member
O
Joined: Mar 2017
Posts: 1,979
Likes: 33
Taz, what a great update. Yes, happy and well-adjusted children is the greatest gift that we can ever have in this world!

Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 96
Likes: 3
T
Taz Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 96
Likes: 3
Well evidently my counter offer was not accepted as we are now required to pursue court ordered mediation. So I finally decided to retain legal counsel. It was sad filling out the form but oddly brought me much peace afterward.

I was warned by a friend that her lawyer was pushing for her to ask for more. Hopefully since I have a lawyer retained hers will back off a bit. Seems odd that it took 11 months for them to digest the financials and make an offer, then not respond to my counter. The next offer will not be as generous.

Life is good. Been busy with Gal, work, and home projects. Planning some trips for summer and fall. Helping S21 get set up to take a school abroad course this summer. Got his passport and are booking flights this weekend.

Oh yeah S20 turned 21 last month. I visited him at school and attended his improv club show. Tried to take him out for a drink afterward but he said he’s not interested in alcohol. I may need to have him take a DNA test to confirm we are related.

Taz


M57 (53@BD)
XW55 (50@BD)
S24 (20@BD) S22 (19@BD)
Married 25 (22@BD) Together 28
BD 9/29/19 (moved out unannounced while I was on fishing trip)
W filed 10/19/20 (Informed me via text)
D final 11/10/22
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 9,309
Likes: 283
R
Member
Offline
Member
R
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 9,309
Likes: 283
Originally Posted by Taz
Hopefully since I have a lawyer retained hers will back off a bit.
My observation is the "negotiation" will pay both the lawyers handsomely.

That is where most of my anger still lingers.....


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Joined: Jul 2020
Posts: 1,760
Likes: 193
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Jul 2020
Posts: 1,760
Likes: 193
Taz,

What's the sticking point on the counter offer? Custody and child support are non-issues. Are you two far off on a particular area? Not sure about where you are, but often items are dictated by the statutes and the end result is similar to what both parties could've reasonably agreed to months or years earlier.

Good stuff on the Gal, work, home projects, and trip planning.

Got a good chuckle at the alcohol / DNA check comment.

Last edited by BL42; 04/15/22 03:06 AM.

Me:39 Ex-W:37
M:7 T: 9
S:6 D:3
BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20
OM1 affair ends: May '20
W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20
W files for D: Jul20
OM2 confirmed: 9/2020
Divorced: May '21
Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 96
Likes: 3
T
Taz Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 96
Likes: 3
Hey all time for an update:

So in September I had my 25th wedding anniversary and my 3rd BD anniversary and not much feeling about either of those. I was in the Key West during the latter and had a great time with friends. Got to stay 2 extra days as Ivan came through and shut down the airport. I had mediation on 11/7 and we came to an agreement. I got to keep the family home. 1/2 of my retirement funds, and 45% of my investment accounts. XW got to keep all of her retirement which offset her 1/2 of the home value. She didn't go after my business or my plot of the family farm but they used it as a bargaining tool to not have to include the post secondary education expenses I have paid since her filing date. I am content with the outcome but don't think it was much different that my original counter offer. My lawyer did a good job and I was very pleased with her work.

So as of 11/10 I am officially divorced. OK, so now what to do? GAL of course! Still hitting the gym hard and walking 5 miles a day minimum. thought about starting running again now that the planter fasciitus in my foot is healed but figured at my age maybe walking is better.

Have read NMG, Art of Seduction, and have a copy of 3% Man on deck next. Would like to put on 10 more pounds of muscle as I'm still down 20lbs from pre BD weight.

Go out with friends at least 3 nights a week and I am fine living alone. No plans for dating in the near future

S23 quit his job and has been taking a gap year(s) from working in the engineering field. He worked as a mountain guide in West Virginia and is currently working at a ski resort in Colorado. The old me would be busting his chops but I have let it go for him to figure out.

S21 took the LSAT and scored a 98%, so it looks like he will be going to law school next year after he graduates with his BSEE in May.

XW? I know that she moved into a new apartment, got a new job and bought a new car. I still haven't seen her since Thanksgiving 2020. I have only received 3 texts from her this year and they were only about business. S23 hasn't seen her in a year and S21 has seen her once. She is a true vanisher. I'm not not sure how I feel about her anymore. Apathetic when it comes to me and confused when it comes her relationship with our sons. I hope for their sake she figures it out. As part of the divorce settlement I have to collect a few things from the house to give her. All items that were hers before we started dating. When I saw the list I chuckled, what a lost soul.

Thanks for all the advice, this group was spot on.

Taz


M57 (53@BD)
XW55 (50@BD)
S24 (20@BD) S22 (19@BD)
Married 25 (22@BD) Together 28
BD 9/29/19 (moved out unannounced while I was on fishing trip)
W filed 10/19/20 (Informed me via text)
D final 11/10/22
Page 1 of 3 1 2 3

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard