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BL it’s all good trust me I’ve had some mishaps I wish I could take back. Coach recommends Miagoi principals wax on wax off. Practice talking to cashiers, women in elevators etc to get comfortable. Repetition is the mother of skill.

Yep that’s probably the case. If a woman likes you she will make it easy for you to date her.

Chin up tits out!

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Originally Posted by BL42
Admittedly not at all smooth. It's been a decade since I dated and definitely need to exercise the old flirting muscles I guess. And, maybe she's just not that into me regardless. Who knows.
Direct is also good. The most attractive women I've dated I've met in person, and at least a couple of them were impressed I asked them for a date (after some conversation). Other men failed to act, or found excuses to get their digits--they appreciated the confident approach. But yes, no "oh I see your single again". Especially with that missing apostrophe. wink

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Wow, a lot going while I’m busy at work.

LH, what do you do at work that you have so much time to respond right away? They pay you to DB all day?

I imagine some men don’t have any game and think women love to have their looks commented on all the time. I do truly believe they believe that. But yikes, it’s weird. Maybe extra weird for me because that didn’t come later in life for me.

I imagine I’m a real tough sell these days.

I started out this year after a huge dry spell ( thanks covid and gaining weight and losing confidence ) then I just really craved intimacy and physical touch and I did my one nighters. ( 2 of them) then I met the guy I did really like and couldn’t work out. (LH, he’s the one with the 3 and 5 year old fresh divorced and has no desire to put effort into anything and liked hanging out once a month “if he had the chance” I ended that.

As for asking “how long have you been divorce” I always ask. Like 5% of the guys in my age range has been divorced greater than 2 years. Or they have never been married which loses its own challenges .

These studies are dumb . I’ll be the most unhappy at 45? Well, no. My timeline is hugely different from others. I was married with kid and divorced before 30. So obviously my life does not paralell the normal one. I truly believe 45 and up is going to be wonderful for me. Super hard to adjust to not having my other half around ( my daughter) but my world will open up in many ways. I imagine that age range you mention, LH is for people who are miserable on their marriages, or just coming out a marriage lost in this world. NOT ME!

LH, dad bod is not a pear shape with man boobs. It’s a guy who might have a bit of a guy, but obviously works out and has muscles. My favorite type. 6 packs did it for me in my 20’s, but now I like a guy with meat and muscles. A guy who eats cottage cheese as his favorite meal and is always in the gym and obsessed with his looks isn’t for me. Especially those who drink some crappy tasteless light beer. EEEEWWWWWW!

And a guy saying “you seem really cool, I would like to get to know you better” will totally get me interested. Sure, us women like to hear we are pretty, but more so once you get to know us. And I’m all about the sexy talk when we have established a connection. Not when we don’t know eachother .

Still not active on dating apps. Horse guy just keeps messaging me even when i don’t respond. He works nights and I work days and my days have been nuts. I keep meeting guys who work the opposite shift. Would have been nice when I worked nights to meet a guy who worked nights, lol. But then again, I was married and then divorced with a baby when I worked nights

I picked up 3 extra shifts this month. I got offered at my salaried job to fill in a blank for overtime and not comp time the way it usually is. So I took it. I work Saturday. Took another shift at the end of the month. Basically I am working 4 weekends in a row. But it’s money. I’m exhausted and burnt out, but I see dollar signs .that’s where my focus is. Might as well make the dough in the winter when there is nothing else to do.

My life right now is work and gym and throw in parenting and adulting.

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Originally Posted by Ginger1
LH, what do you do at work that you have so much time to respond right away? They pay you to DB all day?
You know what I do and why I am looking for another job.
Originally Posted by Ginger1
I imagine some men don’t have any game and think women love to have their looks commented on all the time. I do truly believe they believe that. But yikes, it’s weird. Maybe extra weird for me because that didn’t come later in life for me.
It is weird. If only there was a book that would teach men not to do that.
Originally Posted by Ginger1
I started out this year after a huge dry spell ( thanks covid and gaining weight and losing confidence ) then I just really craved intimacy and physical touch and I did my one nighters.
I know Covid is bad but this is the first time I heard it take the blame for hoing around lol.
Originally Posted by Ginger1
( 2 of them) then I met the guy I did really like and couldn’t work out. (LH, he’s the one with the 3 and 5 year old fresh divorced and has no desire to put effort into anything and liked hanging out once a month “if he had the chance” I ended that.
Ah so you touched the stove on the newly divorced and got burned. Interesting.
Originally Posted by Ginger1
As for asking “how long have you been divorce” I always ask. Like 5% of the guys in my age range has been divorced greater than 2 years. Or they have never been married which loses its own challenges .
Someone who is a match, compatible enough to spend the rest of your life with is hard to find.
Originally Posted by Ginger1
I imagine that age range you mention, LH is for people who are miserable on their marriages, or just coming out a marriage lost in this world. NOT ME!
Interesting you lump long term marriages and being miserable together. Yet here we preach vows, commitment, death to we part etc.
Originally Posted by Ginger1
LH, dad bod is not a pear shape with man boobs. It’s a guy who might have a bit of a guy, but obviously works out and has muscles. My favorite type. 6 packs did it for me in my 20’s, but now I like a guy with meat and muscles.
I see. I think I have a dad bod.
Originally Posted by Ginger1
A guy who eats cottage cheese as his favorite meal and is always in the gym and obsessed with his looks isn’t for me. Especially those who drink some crappy tasteless light beer. EEEEWWWWWW!
Interesting how society feels its ok to mock and shame someone who takes care of the most important possession a person has.
Originally Posted by Ginger1
And a guy saying “you seem really cool, I would like to get to know you better” will totally get me interested. Sure, us women like to hear we are pretty, but more so once you get to know us. And I’m all about the sexy talk when we have established a connection. Not when we don’t know each other .
I do believe there is a book out there that teaches that kind of stuff.
Originally Posted by Ginger1
Still not active on dating apps.
Well considering how much you hate and despise it I hope not.
Originally Posted by Ginger1
Horse guy just keeps messaging me even when i don’t respond.
Who in the fuch is horse guy? If you don't want him messaging you why don't you block him?
Originally Posted by Ginger1
I picked up 3 extra shifts this month. I got offered at my salaried job to fill in a blank for overtime and not comp time the way it usually is. So I took it. I work Saturday. Took another shift at the end of the month. Basically I am working 4 weekends in a row. But it’s money. I’m exhausted and burnt out, but I see dollar signs .that’s where my focus is. Might as well make the dough in the winter when there is nothing else to do.
I couldn't agree more.
Originally Posted by Ginger1
My life right now is work and gym and throw in parenting and adulting.
Sounds like a great life! Stick to it, embrace it and enjoy it. You only have one.

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You keep mentioning a book, LH. While I would imagine you are referring to your coach's book, I would contend that there are actually any number of books out there to help both men and women navigate the dating world so that people can choose and read the option that works best for them since not all books are created equal. The problem, however, lies in getting men (and women, as the case may be) to actually READ those books. I'm willing to bet a decent amount of my salary that the men G is referring to are NOT burning up the bookstore aisles or the Amazon website to purchase any books on dating because they THINK they "got this".


Me 52, H53
Bomb drop 9/29/2014
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
6 grandkids
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For what it is worth, G, my life took a HUGE change for the better just prior to my 45th birthday. The first few months of my 45th year were rough since I was dealing with the aftermath of my D, but once I got my own wheels lined out, so to speak, 45 and up were awesome. There are always exceptions to studies and I hope you are one of them. wink


Me 52, H53
Bomb drop 9/29/2014
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
6 grandkids
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Originally Posted by Dawn70
You keep mentioning a book, LH. While I would imagine you are referring to your coach's book, I would contend that there are actually any number of books out there to help both men and women navigate the dating world so that people can choose and read the option that works best for them since not all books are created equal. The problem, however, lies in getting men (and women, as the case may be) to actually READ those books. I'm willing to bet a decent amount of my salary that the men G is referring to are NOT burning up the bookstore aisles or the Amazon website to purchase any books on dating because they THINK they "got this".
I agree. I read once that self help books are purchased by men only 5% of the time. I have read many but the book I am referring is a easy read with basic concepts.

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Originally Posted by Ginger1
LH, what do you do at work that you have so much time to respond right away? They pay you to DB all day?

I have been wondering this for a year or more. Pay someone a weekly salary to play on the internet all day rather than do actual work. As a business owner or manager I cringe. Great gig if you can get it I guess. Not very rewarding though.

Originally Posted by Dawn70
You keep mentioning a book, LH. While I would imagine you are referring to your coach's book, I would contend that there are actually any number of books out there to help both men and women navigate the dating world so that people can choose and read the option that works best for them since not all books are created equal.

Actual books, by noted and known best selling authors, that you can actually pick up and hold or purchase in one of the still remaining books stores, rather than self published e-books by someone most people have never heard of, you mean?


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WAW-EXW 55
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Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06
4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
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Originally Posted by DonH
Great gig if you can get it I guess. Not very rewarding though.
It has it advantages and disadvantages. I am currently interviewing and will be gone from the board if I get another job.

Originally Posted by DonH
Actual books, by noted and known best selling authors, that you can actually pick up and hold or purchase in one of the still remaining books stores, rather than self published e-books by someone most people have never heard of, you mean?
Personally I think it is more helpful then a book that suggests Ginger should be a prostitute. But that is just me.

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For the record Don you can purchase a hard copy of the book if you are looking for late Christmas gifts.

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