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LH19 #2927447 12/15/21 09:34 PM
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I don’t think women are particularly looking for Prince Charming and a fairytale ending. I think majority are looking for a stable committed relationship with a man who gives effort.

Harder than you think to come by

LH19 #2927448 12/15/21 09:41 PM
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I think my friends point was if you date a woman mid forty who has never been married you should figure she wants to get married at some point. Where if you date a woman in her 50s she’s probably good in a monogamous relationship.


M:51 W:46
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“Don’t chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people – the ones who really belong in your life – will come to you. And stay.” ~LH19
LH19 #2927449 12/15/21 09:45 PM
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I think I’m doing it right. I got my marriage wrong for the most part. I’m trying things on for size this time around.


M:51 W:46
T:22 M:16
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“Don’t chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people – the ones who really belong in your life – will come to you. And stay.” ~LH19
LH19 #2927451 12/15/21 11:53 PM
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easy and effortless meaning the interaction between the two parties should flow ... yeah, we have commitments. yes, we'll have to see what works, schedule-wise, but if it's an uphill slog from day 1, what is the point? it would have to be someone extremely compelling on day 1 for me to be willing to go through the mill on the front end.


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D Final 12/23/16

"You know who you were before & during your marriage. Find out who you are now. What are your core values? What do you really want? Then, live it!"
LH19 #2927452 12/15/21 11:57 PM
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Originally Posted by LH19
More then what? I want a monogamous relationship with a woman I am crazy about.

More than HHH is what I was referring to. Looks like I was correct. And not at all criticizing it.

Originally Posted by LH19
I think my friends point was if you date a woman mid forty who has never been married you should figure she wants to get married at some point.

Oh that’s a FOR SURE. I was referring though to even the upper 30s to mid 40s who seem to think they got gypped with the first guy and want the do over. Some just don’t want to raise the kids or take care of the house or deal with single income or just be alone. They a craving the fairy tale- though few will admit it’s a fairytale they are chasing. They seem to grow or morph out of it into their 50s - where some bolt right over to not wanting to date anyone. But younger they still think they can get that brass ring and are not at all likely to settle for living together apart much less HHH. But never married, That’s a whole other creature - often with their own set of issues. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve met someone who was never married and within hours am saying, and now I know why.

With the age thing I do relate. I don’t specifically look for it but for some reason have often fit better with it. And I always have from early on 25 - 20, 27 - 19 come to mind. However it’s certainly not exclusive with a couple 30 - 40 in there as well Somehow my ex wife was only a year younger. Hmmmm


DonH
Midwest
Me 56
WAW-EXW 55
Met 11/95 / Married 5/00
Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06
4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
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Originally Posted by bttrfly
easy and effortless meaning the interaction between the two parties should flow ... yeah, we have commitments. yes, we'll have to see what works, schedule-wise, but if it's an uphill slog from day 1, what is the point? it would have to be someone extremely compelling on day 1 for me to be willing to go through the mill on the front end.
I think sometimes my point to gets lost. It didn’t feel like I was going through slog since day 1. Again it was difficult it just wasn’t easy.


M:51 W:46
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“Don’t chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people – the ones who really belong in your life – will come to you. And stay.” ~LH19
LH19 #2927455 12/16/21 01:20 AM
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Wasn’t difficult.


M:51 W:46
T:22 M:16
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“Don’t chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people – the ones who really belong in your life – will come to you. And stay.” ~LH19
LH19 #2927460 12/16/21 02:15 AM
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I dunno. I still think it should be easy.


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D Final 12/23/16

"You know who you were before & during your marriage. Find out who you are now. What are your core values? What do you really want? Then, live it!"
LH19 #2927462 12/16/21 04:13 AM
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I don’t think any of us are talking about a relationship with no effort, no baggage or no inconveniences. But I think when we say it should be “easy”, is that when you’re reasonably well matched in temperament, and equally attracted to each other, and both parties are non-crazy adults - well, the relationship interactions should feel natural and “easy”.

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LH19 #2927464 12/16/21 11:18 AM
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So I’ll give an example. Basically our time was limited to every other weekend. One time we had a disagreement Friday afternoon. It took her until Sunday afternoon to get over it.


M:51 W:46
T:22 M:16
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“Don’t chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people – the ones who really belong in your life – will come to you. And stay.” ~LH19
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