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There's a woman around the corner who I really like. Smart, hard-working in her independent small shop, friendly, devoted to good causes. She's age appropriate - I think about 3 years younger than me.

But she's also - in my and my son's opinion - nuttier and fruitier than a balanced breakfast.

Oddly she would probably think of herself as a left leaning person. She has bought into what I consider (not wanting to start a side discussion here) some very out-there conspiracy theories and pushes them every chance she gets. She is also a very intense person who freely and willingly shares and pushes her views - we have agreed to disagree and I refuse to get into any discussions of such things with her. The core of our differences are around personal liberty vs community responsibility but there are other things that are areas of disagreement too.

I consider us friends - but certainly never would date her. Our political differences are just completely irreconcilable.


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Originally Posted by Don
They have preached including EVERYONE and tolerating EVERYONEs thoughts and beliefs and including EVERYONE. But according to this survey it’s not really everyone just everyone but a republican. That’s my mystery. Republicans just seem to actually practice tolerance..
Originally Posted by kml
not wanting to date someone because they support homophobia, misogyny and racism - that's not intolerance, that's boundaries.
Don, kml points out a key fallacy in your argument. There's a difference between tolerance ("the ability or willingness to tolerate something, in particular the existence of opinions or behavior that one does not necessarily agree with.") vs. being attracted to and willing to date and form an intimate relationship with someone.

Originally Posted by Don
I consider us friends - but certainly never would date her.
Andrew illustrates this point well! He tolerates his neighbor--may enjoy her company in many instances--but has set boundaries around dating her and around engaging her in conversations about certain topics.

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To be extra clear, I'm not implying YOU are homophobic, misogynistic, or racist. I have a bisexual friend who votes Democrat despite opposition to its financial policies, ever since Republicans fought to end her career as a teacher. Another friend who owns a business votes Republican for its favorable financial policies, despite its social policies being contrary to his transgender son. People are complicated and a 2-party system doesn't always give people the choices they wish they had.

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I'm side stepping some of the implications of left leaning political views because honestly it's not pertinent to your question that's buried in there. I'd suggest you see CW's explanation of tolerant. But I'll leave you with what I do know.

I was in a cross political relationship with my exH for a very long time. This is what I learned:
-I will never have an intimate relationship with a one issue voter. They are either weak minded or myopic and I have no taste for either.
-I will never have any kind of relationship with a person who is incapable of empathy again.
-I will never have any kind of a relationship with a person who changes their mind on a dime when something personally affects them again.
-And I will never attempt to build and sustain a relationship with a person whose values, world view, life experiences, and concept of rights is in complete opposition to mine ever again.

Can I be cordial and friendly with people with opposing views? Absolutely. I worked in customer service for years. I even maintained friendships for a long time with people with opposing views. They are probably the only people I can have constructive political conversations with. But I will never have a cross political romantic relationship again nor would I recommend it for anyone.

It's exhausting. It's exhausting to never talk about those things. It's exhausting to talk about those things. It's exhausting to bicker over things that aren't overtly political but have an undertone so you have differing opinions. It's exhausting to keep your mouth shut when they say things you don't agree with. It's exhausting to try to steer the conversation in a different direction when it does come up. It's exhausting to have to apologize for your significant other when sticky topics come up in a group of people. It's exhausting to maintain a relationship with a person who you can't have any conversations with depth because there's no way to avoid your belief systems and values if you really want deep conversation. It's exhausting trying to develop a deep connection or become emotionally intimate with a person you can't have real deep conversations with. It's exhausting to spend day after day after day with a person who has absolutely nothing in common with you when you break it down to the most fundamental things in your belief system. You may like the same hobbies or music or films or beer or who knows but it's never enough to build the kind of bond you need to make it for the long haul.

My exH has gone full on Q nut job in the last 6ish years, like JFK jr. levels. And I will say I attribute that to his newest gf have no strong opinions of her own. She is the first and only woman he's ever been with that wasn't deeply liberal. So maybe there is an argument for cross political relationships, but I can't do it and I wouldn't recommend it.

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I have a feeling that a good percentage of these liberal women don’t want to date supporters of a specific person even if they are willing to overlook political policy differences. Imagine a first date conversation that goes something like this:

Lady: So, who are some of your role models?
Guy: I love this leader who is an absolute alpha male. If he is attracted to a beautiful woman, he just starts kissing them, doesn’t even wait. Does whatever he wants, grabs them by the……...

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Wow! Some very passionate responses here. It is incredible how politics have permeated every aspect of our lives. I have found it fascinating that people on dating sites profess their political leanings. While some strong held beliefs are red or green flags I do try to see beyond the lady's stated beliefs. Someone with different political affiliation than mine is not necessarily a deal breaker as I find that they don't always behave in the manner one would expect. For example a lady with Socialist leanings may just as likely be very conservative in her actions. A Conservative may well give to every cause.

At this point I am more interested in ladies who do not express great passion about politics or social issues. I will not date a woman with a Social Media account or one who attends rallies etc.... It is much more challenging but I try to observe how she behaves. If she is has Socialist leanings does she lead by example or does she expect that person over there to lead. Is she willing to live less comfortably so that others can be marginally better off...... If she is Conservative does she practice what she preaches. Both are extremely rare qualities.

What I have found to be the most unlikely quality is the woman who is in touch with human adaptation and accepting of the strengths and weaknesses of both sexes of our species. It isn't necessarily popular but there are some absolute truths that one will never overcome.


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Follow the science, it’s all about the science. On July 28, 2021 when the CDC reimposed mask mandates, there were on average 67,000 new Covid cases and 34,000 hospitalizations per day. Now, as the CDC and even the Whitehouse drop all mask mandates, along with pretty much every state and most schools, there are nearly 73,000 new cases, 2,000 deaths and almost 54,000 new hospitalizations per day. All about the science? Or in preparation of the state if the union address so Biden can clame victory over Covid? What a total joke. Yes, deaths are always the lagging indicator but even with all the home testing that is not reported cases are still higher now than when the mandate was reimposed. It was never about the science. It’s always about money and power.

I Just wanted to be on the record of what will be claimed by the president before he claims it - two years nearly to the day after we were told “just 2 weeks to flatten the curve” speaking of, where has Fauchi been? It’s almost like they put him in hiding. What a country.


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Originally Posted by DonH
67,000 new Covid cases and 34,000 hospitalizations per day. Now, as the CDC and even the Whitehouse drop all mask mandates, along with pretty much every state and most schools, there are nearly 73,000 new cases,
Don, I think kml, you, and I all agree dropping the mask mandates isn't "about the science." It's bowing to pressure in a republic. The number of people in my state supporting mask mandates in schools has dropped to ~61% years in now that most are vax'd and boosted. Of course, we probably disagree on whether they should or should not be lifted.

California's school unmasking begins 2-3 weeks after the adult unmasking assuming numbers stay stable. I wonder if unmaking adults will lead to a surge in that timeframe that prevents unmasking kids. I remember previous loosening or restrictions led to surges, but I can't remember how quickly those surges occurred. Time will tell, anyway!

Originally Posted by DonH
Biden can clame victory over Covid? I Just wanted to be on the record of what will be claimed by the president before he claims it
I see Fox News is speculating Biden may declare victory over covid during his State of the Union. I will go on record saying I doubt that. Likely, he'll note successes and offer some optimism, and likely news sources will praise or criticize his words depending on their leaning. I won't make time to watch but I will review the summaries afterwards.

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I do feel better about unmasking now vs. then, because my family has had an opportunity to get vaccinated and boosted. I am annoyed by policies like, "If you're fully vaccinated, you may go maskless indoors". At least around me, the people who tend to go unvaccinated, are the same people who ignore a shop's policy and enter maskless when not challenged. Such a policy would only make sense to me if we had a mechanism in place to know who was vaccinated such as an ID sticker. At least most schools and employers near me request vaccination status, so they can enforce masks on the unvaccinated.

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Don,

Do you want me to link up your old thread to this one? If so, please let me know...otherwise, I will leave it where it is at.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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