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DonH Offline OP
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Still wondering what comes next

Well it’s been months since my last thread filled and locked but I’ve seen little need to start a new one. It’s just been easier to hijack others. smile but that’s not always the best idea. So after hearing this very interesting discussion on the radio this morning and then looking further into it, it very much reminded me of comments and discussions made here. And that meant put it in your own thread Don.

It all started with a survey from Axios. I’ve perhaps heard the name but I know nothing about them. The questions they asked, however, were very related to comments, statements and some discussions here, including loosely some that were made yesterday although I think that was more so in good fun and banter.

But they asked 850 about dating and specifically would you date someone that voted for Trump or Hillary or Biden. It’s been said here by multiple people how they’d never date a Trump voter. I found that not only interesting but also hard to be common. Turns out, like many things these days, it actually depends on whether you are female or male, your age and whether you are republican or democrat. Shocker. But it’s still interesting.

According to their study or survey or whatever only 5% of republicans said they would not be friends with a democrat. I find that totally plausible as I talked about on CWs thread yesterday. OTOH 37%, or 6 times more, of democrats would not be friends with a republican. Hmmmmm interesting. When it came to dating 71% of young democrats would not go on a date with a republican!!! Nearly three quarters - just as some here proved some months back with their comments. I still find that amazing. But again when flipped 31% of republicans, would not date a democrat or less than half of the other way around. Nearly three quarters versus nearly one third. That’s a huge difference, especially again coming from the tolerant, co-exist side of the house. Pay attention to what people do, not what they say, or the bumper stickers they have I guess. Im still struggling to wrap my head around this even if I should not be. Living in strange times.

Not marrying I could see. Not getting serious, perhaps. But just rejecting out of hand and not even giving a chance? There used to be all sorts of married people with different political beliefs. But that was before we started turning our world upside down as my title refers.

In other news I decided to give the IRL lady a second chance and sent her another message. I would call, hell she said to call. Problem is I don’t have her number. Oh and for those who said I should have set the date right away. There is often things you don’t factor or know. Like where we were, who was standing there with us - maybe her kids? So without details trust me it would have been very out of place and awkward given the circumstances. Anyhow she messaged back right away this time apologizing. She was going to respond right away the first time, didn’t and then forgot. Of course what does that say. She would not likely forget if interested, though that Cupid fit her personality. But she offered up Sunday. So that’s a plus. Sadly I have a gig followed by a packers party if I’m still up to it after this very busy weekend. Her mom is also going through some issues which is taking up her time.

So, is the universe trying to tell me something? Sadly even my interest is falling. Reality often can’t compare with the fantasy I’ve concocted. But I’ll still go and see what happens if we can get our schedules to cooperate. But D’d a few years - and I still don’t know why though it seemed to happen quickly. He cheated and she tossed him out is what’s been hinted to me by her friend. But kids are still young teens. And she’s a foot taller than me. No not really but it does feel like it sometimes.

Met up with some high school friends after thanksgiving- including 3 or 4 total quality women who are very happily single. And I do mean very successful - one had an office in the Whitehouse and did missions with Airforce one. Still lives in DC before someone suggests I should have asked her out. My actual point again from a different thread is there are more happily single, not at all looking to date, women out there. At least I had a GREAT time with all of them and hope we do it again soon.

Anyhow so now I again officially have a thread. That should last me at least another year - unless I meet someone this weekend and decide to post about it now that I have a thread and actually can. Or I could tell you about the last few - including the “I think sports rivalry is one step away from bullying” woman who clearly fell in the surveys 71%. And I am performing in the most liberal city in the state this weekend so my chances appear to be 29% or less than 60% she will even talk to me. Does it make it harder or easier if half the women on the planet won’t go on a first date with you no matter what?

We indeed are living in strange times.

Last edited by job; 03/10/22 10:03 PM. Reason: added link to previous thread

DonH
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Interesting results. I wonder if geographic location plays a factor in those percentages. Anecdotally speaking, I would be shocked if it didn’t swing the other way in the south. Now, granted, I’m basing this on my own circle of acquaintances and friends (easily 75% Republican) and those are the ones who are most vocal about the “democraps” and “demonrats” and such so I would think they wouldn’t be interested in dating a staunchly democratic partner. Like I said, though….purely anecdotal and I may be surprised by actual numbers. I maintain friendships with staunch Trump supporters mainly by just not discussing politics. My best friend is a Trump supporter and we every once in a great while will have a political discussion but we always do so from a place of respect for the other person and their beliefs. To me that is what it boils down to. Sparky and I are very politically similar. Would I or have I dated someone from an opposing political party sure. I still would if Sparky weren’t around because it is about the person, not the politics, but I might hesitate to get serious, depending on just how firm they were in their beliefs. That would be a case by case thing for me but just outright turn down a date? I probably would not if I liked the guy and that was the only thing that gave me pause.


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For me it’s the lack of empathy and TRUE Christian values displayed by today’s Republican Party - no concern for the poor or disabled. No kindness. Letting the rich have huge tax breaks they don’t need but fighting every step of the way against universal healthcare. Way too many things to mention that to me reflect very poor values. Grabbing them by the pu**y? Mocking a disabled reporter? I cannot conceive of being interested in any man who thought that was okay. Or that supports a party represented by Lauren Boebert and Marjorie Taylor Greene. Or that swallows the gigantic lie that the election wasn’t valid. I wouldn’t have dated a Nazi in the early 1930’s in Germany either.

I’m not saying every Republican is a bad person. But the ones I respected have left this version of the party. And anyone who thinks this is okay has SUCH different values and view of the world that I would not be a fit for them.

I want tax structures that can close the wealth gap and bring it back to what it was when I was young. I want the minimum wage to keep pace with inflation. I want universal healthcare. I want minorities to be treated equitably. I want proper oversight of rogue policemen. I want women to be paid equally for equal work. I want social policies that support poor families and the children in them. You cannot want the things I value and support this current rage-fueled fact-free version of the Republican Party. So I understand the differences in the stats - Republicans are willing to date Dems because we aren’t threatening. Dems don’t want to date Republicans because we see them as scary angry gun-toting racists who make fun of “liberal” (translation: true Christian) values.

Republicans fought against gay marriage, the minimum wage, the equal rights amendment, the civil rights movement - basically, every bit of progress we have made socially has been opposed by the Republican Party, and now they are vigorously trying to rob people of the right to vote.

My trans son is in danger because of what Republican leaders say and do. He is a brilliant, loving, kind, honorable human being and I could never dare someone who supports a party that wants to deny his humanity.

Does this solve the mystery of why Democratic women don’t want to date Republican men?

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And if you think this is too extreme., watch the video if Kanye’s publicist threatening this poor election worker who has been doxxed, threatened and hounded for DOING HER JOB PROPERLY and ask why Republican leaders allow these lies and conspiracy theories to persist?

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PS if you’re not familiar with Ruby Freeman’s story, read up.

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KML, you summed that up perfectly. Women are less likely to date republicans. Very clear.

Any man who has “conservative Christian “ in their profile without mentioning their political leanings I automatically swipe left because I know exactly what that means.

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DonH Offline OP
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Originally Posted by Ginger1
KML, you summed that up perfectly. Women are less likely to date republicans. Very clear.

Well that’s not EXACTLY what this study showed. Funny how we think if we believe it, everyone does. The thing is, it’s not women as in all women, it’s Dem woman who are less likely - but that certainly doesn’t make it the case for ALL women - actually much more like just about half.

Originally Posted by kml
Does this solve the mystery of why Democratic women don’t want to date Republican men?

Again, that’s not the question I posed. It’s not a mystery and in fact I don’t believe I ever used the word mystery. What I said was I found it interesting and amazing and a few other terms but not a mystery.

What this study showed is only some people have an issue with dating those with different viewpoints (Democrats) and only some people don’t want to have friends with different views (again democrats) The study showed only 5% of republicans won’t be friends with a democrat. FIVE Percent. Why is that? While 6 times that number of democrats won’t have a republican friend. With dating, about 1/3 of republicans won’t date a democrat versus nearly 3/4 of democrats refusing to go on a date with a republican. Why such a difference? Their rationale or excuses for it is not a mystery but I do find it very interesting - that’s all - especially coming from the crowd that has preached inclusion, and tolerance and acceptance. They have preached including EVERYONE and tolerating EVERYONEs thoughts and beliefs and including EVERYONE. But according to this survey it’s not really everyone just everyone but a republican - or again about half the population. Or everyone other than about half the country Lol. Let’s accept and embrace a trans young adult but, gasp, NOT a republican. Can’t do that. As if. Or let’s embrace gay marriage (which Obama clearly ran against during the first election I might add, but we can’t have democrats dating republicans. Oh the irony. That’s my mystery - not the list of excuses used to try and justify it. And if you don’t think I could create the same type of list of excuses you did, you’re wrong. Republicans just seem to actually practice tolerance and acceptance versus putting those bumper stickers on their cars. That what this survey seems to show anyhow.

Originally Posted by Ginger1
Any man who has “conservative Christian “ in their profile without mentioning their political leanings I automatically swipe left because I know exactly what that means.

And we may have finally hit on why you’ve had double digit years of dating disappointing guys. Date a balanced, grounded gentlemen who believes in god and follows the commandments? What could be worse? Are there phony religious people? Absolutely! Just like there are crazy phonies in any group. I have noted however that some of the most successful marriages are Christian based. My parents were married 62 years. Were they overtly religious? Heck no. Most people would have no idea of their religious beliefs other than by their general behavior. They never talked about their religion. But following the principles of the church helped to bring them through 62 years. And they are far from alone. I’m not at all suggesting you need to go on Christian mingle or something but to reject out of hand a Christian, sheds new light for me.

Had a very fun and busy weekend capped off with another Packer win. On Friday I saw a couple of the principle operators of the cruise I performed on the last two years pre-travel bans. They do a big variety of other things as well including a very well produced series of Christmas shows. They want me to be part of the house band for next year which is a welcome challenge and the type of thing I’ve not done since pre-Covid. I love to be challenged and get to perform with different professions. So this was nice news.

They then followed that with, they’d like to put us back in the lineup for the January 2023 cruise. Gulp. Oh no. Pretty much immediately the comments started to fly about I better start working on a date now. Pretty sure that “You might have to lower your standards got thrown out as well. Ba ha ha, funny guys. It’s not official yet but probably as good as. Guess I’ve got about 9 months again to figure it out. Just figured I’d give the veterans here fair warning that cruisegate #3 might be around the corner. Who do I want to and do I think I can spend 8 or 9 days and nights with? Perhaps one or two on the current list but I’m not even certain of that. Ugh. SMH


DonH
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No. They are just completely incompatible with my beliefs. And honestly, anyone who feels the need to put that on their profile is not for me.

My experiences with loud and proud “conservative Christian’s” have been racist, anti-womens rights , homophobic , and total hypocrites. They do not follow any commandments and aren’t church goers.


I am pretty sure that has nothing to do with my dating failures . I’m agnostic. We would have incompatibility on every level. I would date a Christian. But not one who calls themselves a conservative Christian and needs to put it out there

The ones who don’t need to put it on their profile, are usually the good ones.

My double digit years of dating failures also has given me the chance to know what that stuff means on a dating profile and it always matches up

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Originally Posted by Ginger1
The ones who don’t need to put it on their profile, are usually the good ones.

BINGO! To me, it is kind of like the boss or manager who loudly and proudly proclaims they are not a micromanager. Every single time I have had someone in a position of authority tell me that, they WERE, in fact, a micromanager. If you spend too much time and energy trying to put forth a specific message, usually you are just trying to hide something. I totally agree with Ginger on this one.

I wouldn't date (or not date) someone who was affiliated only with a certain political party or a certain religion or any other specific thing unless THEY made an issue of it. I can think of several men I know who are staunchly Republican who I would definitely date if Sparky weren't in the picture, but I can also think of a few I wouldn't date because they are so very vocal (to the point of being cruel) about their dislike and distrust of Democrats. It has been my personal experience that both sides of the aisle can be very polarizing to the other side. In my group of contemporaries, both parties are also equally INTOLERANT of the other side. It has also been my personal experience that it is those on the Republican side who are more vocal and divisive about it. I really do think, as I pointed out in an earlier post, that might be geographically driven and I might be surprised if anyone bothered to actually survey these people, so my "evidence" is PURELY anecdotal.


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I still think there's a difference between not wanting to date someone because they support homophobia, misogyny and racism - that's not intolerance, that's boundaries - and not wanting to date someone because they support human rights and want tax policies to help lift up the poor and downtrodden. Two completely different things.

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