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LH19 #2927172 12/08/21 03:34 PM
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So, yeah, this is totally going to seem like a smart @$$ comment and I swear that is not the place I'm coming from, but I'm just wondering what happened to your famous triple Hs here? If you aren't feeling the closeness, but you already said you aren't one of those guys who is out if love doesn't "bloom", what is different in this situation? I'm just wondering what you're even really contemplating if you are such a staunch advocate of HHH. Do you want to have stronger feelings or want her to have stronger feelings or do you want to hear or say ILU? You don't strike me as someone who says ILU early on and you also strike me as someone who makes d@mn sure he is absolutely 100% all in before saying it because you don't want to jerk anyone around.

For me, personally, it is about the person. I may or may not be "sure" at 5-6 months in. I may or may not be catching feelings at that point and if I like the person, I don't really care if I'm not. I liked Sparky and enjoyed time with him, but it took us a little longer than that to get to ILU. He did meet one of my kids at about 7 months, but it is a little different for me because my kids are adults. I don't have the dynamic of little kids, though I do have grandkids, so I have to be careful there because they are all pretty little still.

I do think people should stand up for what they believe in, but at the same time, I think it is crazy for a single mom to quit a job over a belief if she doesn't have another one ready to go or she's independently wealthy enough to support herself and her child with no assistance. Seems kind of selfish to me but in full disclosure, I got both vaccinations and booster as soon as I was able, so I'm totally a vaxxer. wink


Me 52, H53
Bomb drop 9/29/2014
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
6 grandkids
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Originally Posted by Dawn70
Do you want to have stronger feelings or want her to have stronger feelings or do you want to hear or say ILU?
No I want to continue to triple H until I can figure out my feelings and if she's a good match. What I don't want to do a CW and throw out the ILUs hang with the kids and then dump her.
Originally Posted by Dawn70
You don't strike me as someone who says ILU early on and you also strike me as someone who makes d@mn sure he is absolutely 100% all in before saying it because you don't want to jerk anyone around.
You are spot on.
Originally Posted by Dawn70
For me, personally, it is about the person. I may or may not be "sure" at 5-6 months in. I may or may not be catching feelings at that point and if I like the person, I don't really care if I'm not. I liked Sparky and enjoyed time with him, but it took us a little longer than that to get to ILU. He did meet one of my kids at about 7 months, but it is a little different for me because my kids are adults. I don't have the dynamic of little kids, though I do have grandkids, so I have to be careful there because they are all pretty little still.
Thanks Dawn for showing me I am not crazy for being unsure.
Originally Posted by Dawn70
I do think people should stand up for what they believe in, but at the same time, I think it is crazy for a single mom to quit a job over a belief if she doesn't have another one ready to go or she's independently wealthy enough to support herself and her child with no assistance.
I should explain she has a plan and can take the jab and go back at any time. She actually had an appt to do it and then backed out.


M:51 W:46
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“Don’t chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people – the ones who really belong in your life – will come to you. And stay.” ~LH19
LH19 #2927179 12/08/21 04:08 PM
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Not commenting on LH’s situation, but

I’m sure a guy could HHH and for a long time and not take it to the next level no problem.

Generally, women would like to see something progress at the 4-6 month mark. Still having a guy unsure does make one wonder if they are on the same path. Are both parties happy with the HHH? What are the intentions ?

Usually one party is wanting to escalate a little and if the other was is still unsure, the pressure is ok to sh!t or get off the pot.

LH19 #2927182 12/08/21 04:10 PM
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What does the next level mean?


M:51 W:46
T:22 M:16
S:15 D:11

“Don’t chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people – the ones who really belong in your life – will come to you. And stay.” ~LH19
LH19 #2927188 12/08/21 05:30 PM
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Originally Posted by LH19
LOL. This place is awesome.

I was not going to comment. I told myself don’t comment. But perhaps this ^^^^^^^^ is the perfect comment.

It’s clear that fully vaccinated people are transmitting Covid to both other fully vaccinated and non vaccinated people. It’s clear that no less than half the country is now fully vaccinated. The stats are even higher in some areas and significantly higher for the truly at risk people 65 and older. All this yet the numbers are still very high. Hmmmmm More people have died this year with a vaccine available and 5-0+ percent protected than died last year without one. All this yet still somehow people believe that the answer is a vaccine that clearly never had 95% efficacy and barely lasts 6 months. All the vaccine does is protect the person who receives it - and it appears to do an average to decent job of that. But this fantasy of it totally preventing transmission or keeping the vaccinated from contracting Covid, or the truly crazy fantasy of eradicating Covid from the planet is, well, fantasy.

As for losing a job, Um, hello, we’ve got more jobs than people to fill them. Anyone with any level of skills and half a brain can probably have several job offers by the end of the week. Will they pay $100K - probably not but jobs are EVERYWHERE. It’s easy to speak your opinion and beliefs. It takes true courage to live it. Standing by her convictions in my opinion puts a checkbox in the plus column for her. Because clearly my body my choice only applies to killing babies not actually what happens to or goes into your body.

Oh and just because someone chooses not get get a Covid vaccine does not make them anti-vax. It’s a choice not a mandate. At least depending on where you live and once the courts are done the mandates will be gone - 4-0 against already. But my point is Many have other vaccines and will likely get more as they age even if they currently chose not to get this one.

You’re right LH. This place is awesome. smile. And other things.


DonH
Midwest
Me 56
WAW-EXW 55
Met 11/95 / Married 5/00
Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06
4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
LH19 #2927189 12/08/21 05:49 PM
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Don,

I have to be honest your post makes a lot of sense.

I told her I was proud of her for taking her stance all the way. 3 people caved the last day including a surgeon who told her the vaccine hasn't been tested enough to know if it's safe.


M:51 W:46
T:22 M:16
S:15 D:11

“Don’t chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people – the ones who really belong in your life – will come to you. And stay.” ~LH19
LH19 #2927190 12/08/21 05:55 PM
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“Caved?” Or actually finally thought clearly? One surgeon says there isn’t enough data? Jesus.


I know as a mother no income would be much more harmful than me getting a vaccine. I would surely take one for my kid. They wanted to inject me a little poinsom that might make a little sick and not kill me, I’d do that for my kid too

Bad topic for me, I’ll stay far away.

LH19 #2927191 12/08/21 06:01 PM
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I thought it was insane too.

Wouldn't it be an crazy world if everyone had the same beliefs?


M:51 W:46
T:22 M:16
S:15 D:11

“Don’t chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people – the ones who really belong in your life – will come to you. And stay.” ~LH19
LH19 #2927192 12/08/21 06:02 PM
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Originally Posted by LH19
I thought it was insane too.

Wouldn't it be an crazy world if everyone had the same beliefs?

Oh, but you are proud of her .

Doesn’t she have 2 kids to support ?

LH19 #2927193 12/08/21 06:10 PM
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I thought you were staying away lol?

Yes because she stood up for what she believed in.

Yes. Maybe she has money? She talked about possibly bartending until she gets her certification.

Are you not concerned what the govt is going to mandate next?


M:51 W:46
T:22 M:16
S:15 D:11

“Don’t chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people – the ones who really belong in your life – will come to you. And stay.” ~LH19
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