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#2927158 12/08/21 01:58 PM
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Ok people I may regret this lol but I lay my situation out there for feedback or to help others . I have been dating this woman since the end of July. We kinda have the chicken and egg thing going on. She wants more closeness/intimacy and I can't get there because we rarely see each other. She has a 10 year old and a every other weekend dad. So we spend some time together and start to get close then go like two weeks with maybe seeing one another for a couple hours after work. I think we been dating longer than CWs and sunshine and he is throwing out the I love yous and I feel I am no where close to that. I certainly care about her but that is where I am at. Lots of other stuff going on Covid, she's an anti-vaxer and just quit her job over it, both of our vehicles are out of commission etc. Bring on peeps lol.

LH19 #2927160 12/08/21 02:17 PM
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Sir, are you seriously telling me you're trying to make it work with an out of work anti-vaxxer whom you've been seeing for like 6months and you haven't caught feelings and still only see her like every other weekend, sometimes?

1) I'm not entirely sure why you're trying to make this work, but to each their own I guess.

2) If you haven't caught feeling in 6 months the likelihood that you're going to catch them in the near future is slim to none.

My opinion. Cut bait and run before you're buying a 'don't tread on me' flag as a Christmas present and $100 of groceries for the New Year.

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LH19 #2927162 12/08/21 02:32 PM
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Well it's been more like 4 months. I wouldn't say I have no feelings for her.

Thanks for your opinion W.

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Originally Posted by wayfarer
Sir, are you seriously telling me you're trying to make it work with an out of work anti-vaxxer whom you've been seeing for like 6months and you haven't caught feelings and still only see her like every other weekend, sometimes?

1) I'm not entirely sure why you're trying to make this work, but to each their own I guess.

2) If you haven't caught feeling in 6 months the likelihood that you're going to catch them in the near future is slim to none.

My opinion. Cut bait and run before you're buying a 'don't tread on me' flag as a Christmas present and $100 of groceries for the New Year.

Wayfarer. I follow your posts and I would love to hang out in sweats and eat wings and drink beer with you.

I’m not going to give my opinion LH’s live life. But I absolutely have zero tolerance for anti-vaxxers and those who will lose their job over it, especially when they have themselves and kids to support. They are the most irresponsible people living in the realm of an alternate universe with no regards for other humans and think they are being American when in fact they don’t get much more American

LH19 #2927164 12/08/21 02:54 PM
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Well it's not an American thing it is a health concern. I actually respect her for not giving in and standing up for what she believes in. Even if it goes against what I believe.

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LH19 #2927165 12/08/21 02:56 PM
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Oh so literally LH

I'll give you 5 months. And 'catching feelings' is falling in love. It's colloquialism popular with the kids and by kids I mean people in their 30s. Anyway, feelings are a scope. It's not all or none. You don't have to commit because you care about her. And you don't have to throw the relationship away because you don't. I know you like your dualities with absolutely no gray area, but my point here is you're 5 months in and this isn't an "I love you" situation, so there are questions to be asked:

- Are you not going out of your way to spend more time because you are unsure about your connections or is she limiting the amount of time you guys spend together because of the kiddo?
- 4-6 months in most people are meeting other people's kids and if you're not meeting this kid because she not sure where this is going because she wants more intimacy or your not comfortable because you don't spend that much time together? How long are you wiling to go around in this circle without any change in the dynamic?
- Your girl just put herself out of a job on purpose while she has a vehicle in need of repairs. Does she have a job lined up? What are her expectations of you going forward? Will you have to come to her for the foreseeable future? What kind of help are you going to be willing to extend to her when she inevitably needs some if there's no job lined up? What's going to be a deal breaker in this situation?

That being said I stand by if your 5 months in and not in love, not falling, still figuring it out, the likelihood it will bloom into more is slim.

LH19 #2927167 12/08/21 03:03 PM
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Originally Posted by LH19
Well it's not an American thing it is a health concern. I actually respect her for not giving in and standing up for what she believes in. Even if it goes against what I believe.


A health concern? The health concern is COVID

LH19 #2927169 12/08/21 03:19 PM
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Lots of other stuff going on Covid, she's an anti-vaxer and just quit her job over it, both of our vehicles are out of commission etc. Bring on peeps lol.

If she had a LEGITIMATE health concern she wouldn’t be losing her job over it. There are exceptions for people with PEG allergies, for example. And I agree with others - a mom supporting a child who quits her job because she’s not willing to get a vaccine to protect the people around her tells me something about her character and her susceptibility to internet misinformation that would make her unattractive to me.

My sister had a full blown allergic reaction to her second dose of Pfizer, but still got J and J for a booster ( successfully!) because she has two other people in her household to protect and works with schoolchildren.

As for the whole every other weekend thing - that seems like it’s just a fact of life when you are divorced with kids. Could you pay for a babysitter one of the weekend nights that she has her kid?

Then again - I’m kinda getting from your post that you’re not really that into her.If she was the ONE, I think you would find a way around these obstacles.

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Originally Posted by wayfarer
Are you not going out of your way to spend more time because you are unsure about your connections or is she limiting the amount of time you guys spend together because of the kiddo?
It's mainly time limited thing because of the kid.

Originally Posted by wayfarer
- 4-6 months in most people are meeting other people's kids and if you're not meeting this kid because she not sure where this is going because she wants more intimacy or your not comfortable because you don't spend that much time together? How long are you wiling to go around in this circle without any change in the dynamic?
That's the million dollar question. I am in no hurry to meet or have her meet my kids.

Originally Posted by wayfarer
- Your girl just put herself out of a job on purpose while she has a vehicle in need of repairs. Does she have a job lined up?
Yes and no she has to be certified first which she is working on.
Originally Posted by wayfarer
What are her expectations of you going forward? Will you have to come to her for the foreseeable future?
Actually her car will be fixed before mine.
Originally Posted by wayfarer
What kind of help are you going to be willing to extend to her when she inevitably needs some if there's no job lined up? What's going to be a deal breaker in this situation?
She seems to have it all figured out. Haven't thought about deal breakers.

Originally Posted by wayfarer
That being said I stand by if your 5 months in and not in love, not falling, still figuring it out, the likelihood it will bloom into more is slim.
And that's ok. I am not a this has to be happy ever after or I am out kinda guy.

kml #2927171 12/08/21 03:25 PM
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Originally Posted by kml
Quote
Lots of other stuff going on Covid, she's an anti-vaxer and just quit her job over it, both of our vehicles are out of commission etc. Bring on peeps lol.

If she had a LEGITIMATE health concern she wouldn’t be losing her job over it. There are exceptions for people with PEG allergies, for example. And I agree with others - a mom supporting a child who quits her job because she’s not willing to get a vaccine to protect the people around her tells me something about her character and her susceptibility to internet misinformation that would make her unattractive to me.

My sister had a full blown allergic reaction to her second dose of Pfizer, but still got J and J for a booster ( successfully!) because she has two other people in her household to protect and works with schoolchildren.

As for the whole every other weekend thing - that seems like it’s just a fact of life when you are divorced with kids. Could you pay for a babysitter one of the weekend nights that she has her kid?

Then again - I’m kinda getting from your post that you’re not really that into her.If she was the ONE, I think you would find a way around these obstacles.
LOL. This place is awesome.

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