Picked up CMM’s ashes and death certificates yesterday. Closed his phone account yesterday, have an appointment with his bank today. Got my Xmas tree down and out to the curb. House still needs some more cleaning but is coming together. I’m getting a lot done during this week off and it feels good to be going into the new year with some semblance of order. I’m glad I left my afternoons free in January, as it will give me a chance to finish things up and relax a bit. Hoping maybe next week to use my new carpet cleaner.
Every year around New Years I take a little time - sometimes with my best friend - to write goals for the year in a journal. Some are plans, some just aspirations. Not everything comes to fruition, but it’s always surprising how writing things down often helps them to manifest in my life.
I think I’ve found a good use for our new Star Wars Instapot - we are planning to make some red beans and rice, apparently you can cook the beans in two hours in the Instapot!
For fans of apocalyptic fiction - or fans of Shakespeare - I recommend the series Station Eleven on HBO Max. My oldest son and I are really enjoying it, very well done.
I just made a version of this with chorizo. yum. not canned tomatoes, just one vine-ripened tomato and chicken broth, not beef broth, and frozen not fresh spinach.
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
Dream report - this one's NOT a mystery. Crazy ex-BF was in it, we were walking across a street and he reached out to hold my hand. I most emphatically told him I am NOT his girlfriend!
He had sent me a couple of emails after he learned from FB about CMM's death, consoling but also managing to make them about him (as in, if he hadn't f'd things up then I wouldn't be going through this loss). Then an email assuming I hadn't responded to him because I'm mad at him. (No, I just don't always check my emails on the weekends). I try to gray rock communications with him except when they relate to medical information I need to give to his psych docs. I just told him I'm grieving and busy and don't have energy left over to console other people. Which is largely true.
Work has been slamming busy this week despite my slightly reduced patient schedule. Trying to pace myself but I'm surrounded by piles of charts right now.
I just told him I'm grieving and busy and don't have energy left over to console other people. Which is largely true.
Yeah - not a good sign when people are trying to push themselves into the lives of people they think are vulnerable. It could be that they just want to help, could be that they are seeing an opportunity.
It happens a lot though. I had a number of acquaintances offer hugs and to "hang out" as soon as they heard I was alone. I took the advice of good friends and made a commitment to myself to make no major decisions for at least one year.
It also happens the other way too - I'm confident that losing his wife and being extra needy is one of the things that contributed to my xW's affair with OM.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
I picked up on and second the creepy undertone to reaching out so strongly now. I’m careful when people are in hard places that my outreach can only be interpreted as helpful.
I liken that type to "slime under the door" meaning given the slightest opportunity they will slime their way into your life, and it'll take a lot of effort to get them out again.
I have a relative who is trying that right now. I'm not going to even acknowledge their condolence. I have enough on my plate. Don't need this too. Good for you. Grey rock rocks!
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
