I am taking it all in everyone. I am a little slow to remember what needs to be done. I will refresh this thread as I go.. I will be stateside Monday...
I don’t have any hang ups about married and dating—but I would at least settle your feelings about your XW first. I waited 4-6mo after being “100% done” with my last relationship before dating again. That way you know your decisions about giving up on the past relationship are not influenced by the new one and you aren’t masking baggage. Your post a week ago seems to indicate you are still attached to your XW and her feelings and choices.
One of the things passed around here as far as dating is concerned is that it is best to wait one month for each year you were married. I was marred 28 years and waited 3 years to start dating again. It worked out well.
I am back in USA.. Damn flight was painful. I must attract unhappy women. Lady next to me was divorced once, and working on #2 divorce. After talking with her, it seems the entire country is divorced, nobody is happy or putting up with BS anymore.. Thats my take on her conversation, her ex co workers, and her friends. Crazy times.. These are not normal times. Paradox of choices and internet are deadly.. You can order a date via an app.. Think about it. And, off my soap box.
I am back in USA.. Damn flight was painful. I must attract unhappy women. Lady next to me was divorced once, and working on #2 divorce. After talking with her, it seems the entire country is divorced, nobody is happy or putting up with BS anymore.. Thats my take on her conversation, her ex co workers, and her friends. Crazy times.. These are not normal times. Paradox of choices and internet are deadly.. You can order a date via an app.. Think about it. And, off my soap box.
Mach, women used to bathe nude in their roofs (read the story of David and Bathsheba). There are always excuses for people to make bad choices.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Hope you enjoyed the vacation. What are your plans now that you're back home?
Once I get situated back home, groceries etc, I am just going to start going out more for lunches, dinners, shows etc. Just get out and enjoy Charleston area. I am reading more and more on Passive Aggressiveness', control and manipulation types and how to fix that within myself. Right now, all of this is through online articles.. Its a long slow process, but at least I know I have issues.
I am reading more and more on Passive Aggressiveness', control and manipulation types and how to fix that within myself. Right now, all of this is through online articles.. Its a long slow process, but at least I know I have issues.
That's fantastic--identifying and working on a problem area without any expectation of immediate gratification (e.g., "If I do this, my ex will return.") We all have problem areas. Strong!
So wife and I had talk about Holiday dinners, Christmas etc. Right now being a year of firsts, ( first Thanksgiving and Christmas without her Mother, as she passed this year), and most importantly for the kids/grandkids, we will have these two holidays and go forward from there. My wife is very well educated, and well read in regards to everything she tackles. So, I have to agree its best to give it a try, then see what happens next year. She is so far ahead on the GAL and guarded, its amazing to see that someone can get that far after leaving someone. I commend her. As far as having a another person with her or me at any of these events, its not going to happen as neither one of us is ready to tackle that.. She is working 6 to 7 days a week, and doesnt need the added stress of emotional commitments right now. This is not really relevant, just her talking to me about it. After the first of the year I will be gone for about 4 to 5 months overseas. When I get back, I will file for divorce. I will inform her in between jobs so we can get her health care plan situated, as I stated before. Its just the right thing to do. Its not about feelings. I may be all over the place, but I am going forward with things in life.
