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Gigi123 Offline OP
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New territory for me, i think i know the answer to this.
H gave S7 his old phone, we are isolation still so H has been contacting S7 directly on that mobile.
I mean s7 is hopeless with communicating via txt and has limited interested.
When the phone arrived here it had OW phone number there. I left it as is, but now she started txting S7. On one hand i dont care, as in ok of S7 wants to respond then ok. On the other hand we are at home, its not H time so to speak and she wouldnt have access to S7 otherwise.

Just initial deliberations in my head

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Gigi123,
Originally Posted by Gigi123
When the phone arrived here it had OW phone number there. I left it as is, but now she started txting S7.
I know what I'd want to do. Not sure what the "right" thing is though...


Me:39 Ex-W:37
M:7 T: 9
S:6 D:3
BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20
OM1 affair ends: May '20
W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20
W files for D: Jul20
OM2 confirmed: 9/2020
Divorced: May '21
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Gigi123 Offline OP
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Well my first emotional response was to block and delete. But obv when S7 is with H they will see that i have done that. But in a sensible woman and i know how S7 feels about her, he would be happy to never see her again. So big deal really?

I guess its more about me than S7, do i want her name popping up on the phone every time S7 leaves it somewhere

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Is 7 too young an age to have a phone anyway?


Me: 39 W:41
T: 14 M: 11
S: 5

BD & OM Jun 2020
W moves out Aug 2020

"What happened happened, and couldn't have happened any other way...because it didn't"
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Gigi123 Offline OP
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It is absolutely and we both recognise that, it was given to him because they werent able to see H because of covid. He doesnt take the phone with him anywhere, it just stays in his bedroom and he has some games on it.

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Then doesn’t OW messaging S7 cross the boundaries of why the phone was given in the first place?


Me: 39 W:41
T: 14 M: 11
S: 5

BD & OM Jun 2020
W moves out Aug 2020

"What happened happened, and couldn't have happened any other way...because it didn't"
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It's hard to say from the available info--"it was given to him because they weren't able to see H"--what did she agree to, S gets it during XH's custody time, or S gets it until he sees XH again? Did he or she set limits on who talks to S? If the situation will only last a few more days, I'd be tempted to let it go as a unique situation, but ensure S doesn't have a phone again for 3-5yrs so this isn't an issue again.

My XW and I get along swell, but our custody terms don't grant her access to the kids whenever she likes. The kids are allowed to access either of us whenever they like.



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Gigi123 Offline OP
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I truly done mind H and S7 wxchanging pictures etc. It is a unique situation, we are self isolating and because of concerns for H health he cant have them at the moment.
So i do see it as temporary, but the phone will probably hang about at home anyway. I dont want it to travel with S when he goes to H anyway. Of i need to know something about the children i ring H anyway. Im tempted to delete the message and be done with it. Surely with no response she wont harass him. If she continues then i will have to tell H that this phone business could only work for this specific situation anyway and can she stop contacting S7 please.

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To my understanding there are two issues here:
1) The phone. Which you seem to be fine with, in the specific situation.
Where I live it is fairly common for 7-8 yr olds to get their first phone. (Too early imo.)

2) OW "harassing S7". Have you spoken to S7 about it? How does he feel about her texts?
If he feels as you describe I would definitely talk to H about it if I was you. Perhaps talk to OW about it.


Me: 34
Stbxw: 30
D:5 D:3
Mini bd: May/June 2019
Married: Aug 2019
BD: 6th Dec 2019
OM Confirmed: Feb 2020
March 2020: I filed for D
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Thank you all

I absolutely agree 7 is too early for a mobile phone and we know that and so does S7. I have explained to him that the phone was given to him because he couldnt see H, so the phone will be disappearing once we are out of isolation and back from holiday.

Re OW, i asked S7 if he would ever txt with her and he said unlikely, he read her txt but didnt respond, so i deleted it and no further ones followed. I thin the topic is closed for the next 3/5 years until he get a mobile phone.

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