I would pick a date in your head when you think enough time has passed with no movement. Keep that date to yourself. At said date you can just file or if you want have one more conversation with her that this isn't working for you and you are ready to D if she is not interested in working with you on marriage 2.0 in a calm and not threatening way. If she wants to work on 2.0 great! If not you feel good about trying everything you could to keep your family together and you file.
As for not knowing you were being passive aggressive, me neither. I did it in my marriage because I watched my father do it to my mother all the time and it worked. Something for you to work on moving forward. Anytime you are making threats, trying to change someone's opinion or acting a certain way to get what you want is being passive aggressive.
Great advice. I think she will be kinda shocked. But, When I am ready, it will be done. I dont think I will initiate a R or marriage 2.0, because I will digress. I want to ensure I dont do passive aggressive on her.. I will have a plan, date to do it, plan to tell girls and what they need to expect. of course, I will honor my divorce agreement and start a simple allotment for her health care.. Then, go forward..dont turn back.
I would pick a date in your head when you think enough time has passed with no movement. Keep that date to yourself. At said date you can just file or if you want have one more conversation with her that this isn't working for you and you are ready to D if she is not interested in working with you on marriage 2.0 in a calm and not threatening way. If she wants to work on 2.0 great! If not you feel good about trying everything you could to keep your family together and you file.
As for not knowing you were being passive aggressive, me neither. I did it in my marriage because I watched my father do it to my mother all the time and it worked. Something for you to work on moving forward. Anytime you are making threats, trying to change someone's opinion or acting a certain way to get what you want is being passive aggressive.
Great advice. I think she will be kinda shocked. But, When I am ready, it will be done. I dont think I will initiate a R or marriage 2.0, because I will digress. I want to ensure I dont do passive aggressive on her.. I will have a plan, date to do it, plan to tell girls and what they need to expect. of course, I will honor my divorce agreement and start a simple allotment for her health care.. Then, go forward..dont turn back.
Sounds like a plan. I can guarantee you that D is no where as bad as you think.
I would pick a date in your head when you think enough time has passed with no movement. Keep that date to yourself. At said date you can just file or if you want have one more conversation with her that this isn't working for you and you are ready to D if she is not interested in working with you on marriage 2.0 in a calm and not threatening way. If she wants to work on 2.0 great! If not you feel good about trying everything you could to keep your family together and you file.
As for not knowing you were being passive aggressive, me neither. I did it in my marriage because I watched my father do it to my mother all the time and it worked. Something for you to work on moving forward. Anytime you are making threats, trying to change someone's opinion or acting a certain way to get what you want is being passive aggressive.
Great advice. I think she will be kinda shocked. But, When I am ready, it will be done. I dont think I will initiate a R or marriage 2.0, because I will digress. I want to ensure I dont do passive aggressive on her.. I will have a plan, date to do it, plan to tell girls and what they need to expect. of course, I will honor my divorce agreement and start a simple allotment for her health care.. Then, go forward..dont turn back.
Sounds like a plan. I can guarantee you that D is no where as bad as you think.
When it comes to it, I think for me it will be a new adventure. For her, well.... The girls will just be the girls, needy as always, in a good way.. Grand kids are just grands.... Now to formulate thoughts, a plan to go forward with many things I learned in this thread.. And to fight the passive aggressiveness
Not going to lie it is tough at first because you are trying to influence her decision. Once you get to a good place and are happy and healthy alone it becomes easy because you can take or leave anything, anybody or any situation. Then you can just be direct and to the point and walk away from any situation that doesn't work for you.
Not going to lie it is tough at first because you are trying to influence her decision. Once you get to a good place and are happy and healthy alone it becomes easy because you can take or leave anything, anybody or any situation. Then you can just be direct and to the point and walk away from any situation that doesn't work for you.
If I am aware of it, like tying a bow around finger, I can fight it. But I need to find the root cause, and why I do it.. Is not being passive aggressive like being a honey badger?
