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Originally Posted by OnlyBent
The last three times she has come over, twice I said bring a bottle of wine and she "forgot", so the last time I said bring dessert. She wore sexy lingerie as dessert. It was kinda funny, but it also annoyed me that I was putting in effort to cook a nice meal and she brought nothing.
This is where I would be direct. Did your frustration come out indirectly through the boyfreind comment?


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Originally Posted by Ready2Change
This is where I would be direct. Did your frustration come out indirectly through the boyfriend comment?

Yes.

I'm a pretty generous person, so if someone forgets to bring something to a dinner, its really no big deal. But you're right, I should have been direct and expressed it after the second time it happened.

Last edited by OnlyBent; 10/20/21 08:42 PM.

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Originally Posted by OnlyBent
You're right Ginger, she did just want a real date, which is pretty reasonable.
Was she expecting you to pay? Was this the issue for you? Is a 50/50 split of the bill acceptable to you both? Expectations and negotiations.


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Yep, she was expecting me to pay.

She makes a lot of money as a software engineer, I'm a single dad with a mortgage. I've cooked her dinner three times in a row. We're "friends" with benefits. My expectation would be 50/50.


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Originally Posted by OnlyBent
I don't like how up herself, vain and self-obsessed she can be.

I would pay attention to this, OB.

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It is possible this was a $hit test. Or maybe it is because the focus of the FWB was on the B and the F was missing smile

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Originally Posted by Ready2Change
Was she expecting you to pay? Was this the issue for you? Is a 50/50 split of the bill acceptable to you both? Expectations and negotiations.
I love this--directness and negotiation! Key components of both FWB and Relationships. (:



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Originally Posted by OnlyBent
Originally Posted by Ginger1
OB, come on. She just wanted a real date. That comment was pretty cruel I don’t think she was “using” you for a fancy meal. She just wanted to go in a real date with the guy she’s been having sex with

You're right Ginger, she did just want a real date, which is pretty reasonable. I didn't like the way she went about asking me whether I had gone to some big effort for her, when she is very clear that she only wants to be fwb. The last three times she has come over, twice I said bring a bottle of wine and she "forgot", so the last time I said bring dessert. She wore sexy lingerie as dessert. It was kinda funny, but it also annoyed me that I was putting in effort to cook a nice meal and she brought nothing.
Ah so she only wants FWB. Yeah no date. Keep HHHing but insist she doesn’t come empty handed.


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What exactly makes her vain and self obsessed?

And if you don’t value this. What attracts you to the dynamic you both have? Simply good sex ?

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Originally Posted by Ginger1
What exactly makes her vain and self obsessed?

And if you don’t value this. What attracts you to the dynamic you both have? Simply good sex ?

Good question. Probably the sex, but also when she’s being sweet and kind we do have a fun and playful vibe going on.

The first part, she often says how beautiful she is, how she could get any guy she wants, that sort of thing. Maybe it’s normal where she’s from but in Australia we really don’t value those sort of qualities.


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BD & OM Jun 2020
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"What happened happened, and couldn't have happened any other way...because it didn't"
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