Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 9 of 11 1 2 7 8 9 10 11
Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 188
M
Mach40 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 188
Originally Posted by LH19
Originally Posted by Mach40
Apparently I have been doing it for a very long time, and if I had known it was an issue with our marriage, I could have corrected that too.
Learn from it and move forward. My friends parents reconciled after 35 years apart. You never know what the future holds.
35 years, ouch.. I would be 99.. Probably not going to happen, lol..
True nobody knows what the future holds..


Never Forget your past so you dont repeat, and regret it... The grass isnt greener on the other side, its just a different shade, and time will show it..
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 7,103
Likes: 19
L
Member
Online
Member
L
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 7,103
Likes: 19
Your 64? How old is your W?


M:51 W:46
T:22 M:16
S:15 D:11

“Don't chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people - the ones who really belong in your life - will come to you and stay.”- Will Smith
Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 188
M
Mach40 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 188
Originally Posted by LH19
Your 64? How old is your W?
Mathematical error on my part, I will be 89, as I am 54 and she turned 52 yesterday


Never Forget your past so you dont repeat, and regret it... The grass isnt greener on the other side, its just a different shade, and time will show it..
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 7,103
Likes: 19
L
Member
Online
Member
L
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 7,103
Likes: 19
Yikes yesterday was my exw birthday. Maybe it’s a trend lol.

You’re a year older then me. You’re young! Lots of good available women out there.


M:51 W:46
T:22 M:16
S:15 D:11

“Don't chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people - the ones who really belong in your life - will come to you and stay.”- Will Smith
Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 188
M
Mach40 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 188
Originally Posted by LH19
Yikes yesterday was my exw birthday. Maybe it’s a trend lol.

You’re a year older then me. You’re young! Lots of good available women out there.
We shall see. First , I need to go to Italy for a few weeks. Maybe get some incentive from lovely ladys out there.
I still have allot of work to do on myself.. This passive aggressive stuff really bothers me..


Never Forget your past so you dont repeat, and regret it... The grass isnt greener on the other side, its just a different shade, and time will show it..
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 7,103
Likes: 19
L
Member
Online
Member
L
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 7,103
Likes: 19


M:51 W:46
T:22 M:16
S:15 D:11

“Don't chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people - the ones who really belong in your life - will come to you and stay.”- Will Smith
Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 188
M
Mach40 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 188
On a side note, I need to get one topic covered, telling her I want to finalize the divorce, once I am ready and detached etc... Advice.
Holidays and her Mother just passing, no need to put more sadness into her life. So, I am thinking after the first of the year.
Should I tell lawyer to process it, or wait till after I talk with her and get a date? reason is, I do want her to have ample time to look for health care insurance, as the major item.. This is just a big change, looking for a policy and setting up payments etc. I never had to do this due to being retired Military..


Never Forget your past so you dont repeat, and regret it... The grass isnt greener on the other side, its just a different shade, and time will show it..
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 3,703
Likes: 15
C
Member
Online
Member
C
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 3,703
Likes: 15
Hi Mach40,

I hope this quote helps you--

Originally Posted by "Edith Eva Eger"
To be passive is to let others decide for you. To be aggressive is to decide for others. To be assertive is to decide for yourself.
Passive aggression is often used by the disempowered. E.g., conscripted soldiers missing shots, an insulted waiter delivering food slowly, or a child hearing "ice cream" but not "chore time". People who can't be assertive. It can also be used to satisfy social norms, e.g. "forgetting" to invite someone instead of telling them "You aren't invited!" You may have had legitimate reasons to use passive aggression in the past. But, start to be aware when you do use it, and if you could be powerful and assertive instead.

Originally Posted by Mach40
Holidays and her Mother just passing, no need to put more sadness into her life. So, I am thinking after the first of the year.
While that's kind (and a fine date), I would encourage you to detach and worry about your side of the divorce. She's already dating and there's never a perfect moment to say, "I'm divorcing you."

Originally Posted by Mach40
Should I tell lawyer to process it, or wait till after I talk with her and get a date? reason is, I do want her to have ample time to look for health care insurance, as the major item.. This is just a big change, looking for a policy and setting up payments etc. I never had to do this due to being retired Military..
While that's kind (and sweet), I would encourage you to detach and worry about your side of the divorce. The court will give her adequate time before finalizing to figure her stuff out.



Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 188
M
Mach40 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 188
Originally Posted by CWarrior
Hi Mach40,

I hope this quote helps you--

Originally Posted by "Edith Eva Eger"
To be passive is to let others decide for you. To be aggressive is to decide for others. To be assertive is to decide for yourself.
Great quote, makes allot of sense. Still need to change the way I speak, since apparently this is an issue.. I need to focus before I speak
Passive aggression is often used by the disempowered. E.g., conscripted soldiers missing shots, an insulted waiter delivering food slowly, or a child hearing "ice cream" but not "chore time". People who can't be assertive. It can also be used to satisfy social norms, e.g. "forgetting" to invite someone instead of telling them "You aren't invited!" You may have had legitimate reasons to use passive aggression in the past. But, start to be aware when you do, and realize passive aggression isn't attractive.

Originally Posted by Mach40
Holidays and her Mother just passing, no need to put more sadness into her life. So, I am thinking after the first of the year.
While that's kind (and a fine date), I would encourage you to detach and worry about your side of the divorce. She's already dating and there's never a perfect moment to say, "I'm divorcing you."

Originally Posted by Mach40
Should I tell lawyer to process it, or wait till after I talk with her and get a date? reason is, I do want her to have ample time to look for health care insurance, as the major item.. This is just a big change, looking for a policy and setting up payments etc. I never had to do this due to being retired Military..
While that's kind (and sweet), I would encourage you to detach and worry about your side of the divorce. The court will give her adequate time before finalizing to figure her stuff out.
The papers are done, everything is finalized by the Judge.. It just needs to be finalized for a date, as we agreed to everything already. She just didnt want to do it , as it was all too fast and once divorced it would be done ( she used a very good word that meant it was final)


Never Forget your past so you dont repeat, and regret it... The grass isnt greener on the other side, its just a different shade, and time will show it..
Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 188
M
Mach40 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 188
Planning to detach, focus on not being passive aggressive..
I already started losing weight, and such.. I had heart surgery last year, 99% LDA blockage ( thank God for having a third artery), and I busted my knee up pretty bad, so gained a little belly..
The more I read and see my faults in the marriage, I also see we failed as a couple in one super important category, communication.


Never Forget your past so you dont repeat, and regret it... The grass isnt greener on the other side, its just a different shade, and time will show it..
Page 9 of 11 1 2 7 8 9 10 11

Moderated by  Cadet, job, Virginia 

Link Copied to Clipboard