Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 5 of 10 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 9 10
kml #2921942 07/27/21 02:56 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,913
Likes: 316
K
kml Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
K
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,913
Likes: 316
Quote
I WAS NOT FAT but I've internalized that so much.

Fortunately I didn’t really internalize this, although I probably spent more time than necessary attempting to meet some elusive physical ideal that might make him happy.

Still, my ex was so extreme that I could laugh at it. I mean, I was 5’6” 118 lbs when we got married - actually underweight, with my ribs showing. At our tenth anniversary, after three kids, I still fit into that wedding dress. But nothing was ever perfect enough for him. And when I DID later gain some weight due to some severe thyroid problems,
well - you lose value to a narcissist if you don’t make THEM look good.

Of course, looking back, I now know that his criticism of my not-thin-enough thighs in our honeymoon pics was part of his longing/guilt/whatever over sleeping with an old girlfriend the night before our wedding (she had an abortion while we were on our week honeymoon) and who he was still communicating with. (I didn’t know all of this at the time).

I really learned what I had been missing in my marriage when every man I dated after my divorce delighted in my body, however imperfect, no matter what weight I’d gained.

You need to evict your ex from your head, bttrfly. He never deserved you.

kml #2921950 07/27/21 05:38 PM
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,265
Likes: 58
D
Member
Offline
Member
D
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,265
Likes: 58
Originally Posted by kml
Live your lives, people.

I could not agree with you more KML and have been saying as much for the last 15 months now. But you can't have it both ways!!! It can't be "Live your life [as every day could be your last]" followed by don't visit family, don't hug loved ones, don't celebrate weddings or funerals or pretty much anything else, don't travel, don't go to concerts, don't go to sporting events, don't don't don't - instead of living your life, stay in your house where it's "safe" and don't go out or be with anyone else unless it's a life and death situation... oh but live your lives!

I'm hard pressed to find a bigger contradiction to this statement than what we have "lived" the past 18 months (until about three months ago). It just can't be both ways. What we need is balance. Certainly don't take unnecessary risks but the craziness that has been perpetuated on us has advocated anything but living our lives to the fullest. Sadly, many have giving up much of their lives, time they can never get back.

Sorry, I just could not help but to call out this huge contradiction. But, I very much agree, and always have - LIVE YOUR LIVES!!! -


DonH
Midwest
Me 56
WAW-EXW 55
Met 11/95 / Married 5/00
Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06
4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
kml #2921966 07/29/21 05:39 AM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,913
Likes: 316
K
kml Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
K
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,913
Likes: 316
You can live your life without contributing to the spread of a deadly virus. Don�t be ridiculous. Get vaccinated and wear a mask.

The selfishness of people who won�t do their part in this pandemic never ceases to amaze me. When I reminded an unvaccinated patient that she was still supposed to wear a mask in public, she told me she wouldn�t and didn�t care if she died. I asked her didn�t she care that she might give it to someone else anc she said no! The amount of selfishness and lack of civic responsibility is stunning.

kml #2922001 07/30/21 02:45 PM
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,265
Likes: 58
D
Member
Offline
Member
D
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,265
Likes: 58
Where in my post did I say anything against vaccines or even masks? I said NOTHING of the sort. My point was it�s difficult to live a full life or certainly a meaningful life when you are told NOT to visit friends and family, certainly don�t, gasp, hug or touch them. Don�t celebrate Christmas or thanksgiving. Don�t travel. Don�t go to sporting events. Heck we were told not to go out to dinner. Kids were told and still are told not to go to school. This is living our lives to the fullest?

Interesting you completely ignored this and spoke only about masks and vaccines? I�m not going to forget how our lives were put on hold for over a year and with no good outcome. Your comment was live your lives - which I agree with. To be sure getting a vaccine does not stop you from living your life. A mask may be useless but it dies not stop you from living your life. All of the other nonsense we endured for over a year most certainly did. Kids who never got their junior prom, never played their final season of sports, never got a formal graduation. How is this living your life to the fullest? They will never get these milestones back. So I again agree, don�t be ridiculous. Can�t have it both ways. Either live your life or hide from it. At least be honest about it. You can refute points I never made. It�s much harder to refute the points I�m actually making. As you suggest, I�ve chosen to live my life to the fullest, lab made virus accident or not.


DonH
Midwest
Me 56
WAW-EXW 55
Met 11/95 / Married 5/00
Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06
4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
kml #2922005 07/30/21 04:56 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,913
Likes: 316
K
kml Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
K
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,913
Likes: 316
None of the events you described are safe at the moment without masks and vaccines. Period.

kml #2922006 07/30/21 05:22 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,913
Likes: 316
K
kml Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
K
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,913
Likes: 316
And many outbreaks last winter were due to family gatherings for holidays. Just saying �wah, wah, wah I�m missing out on things� is not an appropriate response to a pandemic that is deadly . Yes, pandemics are terrible and disruptive. We all need to be doing everything we can to stop the spread. I�m shocked at the lack of concern for the health of others being expressed.

This delta variant is as contagious as chickenpox, and more contagious that SARS, Ebola, Spanish flu and smallpox. Only measles (the most contagious virus known to man) is more contagious. This means we must return to universal mask wearing and social distancing to get it back under control. And that means we need a higher percentage of the population vaccinated in order to reach herd immunity.

Someone else said it better than I can: (From Steven Charleston)
To mask or not to mask: there is the question. Whether it is nobler in the mind to protect others from an unseen fate that will steal the lives of their loved ones away, or cast off the covering to show a defiance that we imagine makes us seem stronger, stronger even than death. To sleep, to dream, waking up each day in an unreal world where science is suspect and mercy is inconvenient, the exhaustion of uncertainty numbs the heart and shadows the path of reason. Future generations will one day wonder how we lost our way. To mask or not to mask: it is such a simple question with such a clear answer. If I knew I could save even a single life, I would gladly wear a mask every single day. What else would love have me do?

kml #2922007 07/30/21 05:25 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,913
Likes: 316
K
kml Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
K
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,913
Likes: 316
He�s retired Episcopal bishop of Alaska and a Native American elder btw

kml #2922076 08/02/21 11:25 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,913
Likes: 316
K
kml Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
K
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,913
Likes: 316
For those who are actually interested in the science and facts about this Delta outbreak, I highly recommend the blog posts of Your Local Epidemiologist. She does a great job of breaking down the current news and facts on the virus.

The recalcitrance around mask wearing here as things ramp up with a 15 fold increase in new cases is maddening. The County guidelines say children are required to wear masks in school or childcare settings but the music school where my friend teaches is running an indoor camp this week with kids and no masks. My friend has decided to switch back to teaching lessons online for the time being since her (un-vaccinated) employer is not following the guidelines. She doesn't want to be the vehicle to spread the virus from one family to another.

CMM is struggling with the side effects of this new chemo - the nausea has been very bad and he's not been keeping much food down. I think he will have to ask his oncologist to lower the dose this week. When you all talk about the in-between times, that's a bit how I feel now. The right now is indefinite, but the end will definitely come - just that it could be next month or next year. So I stand in the nebulous present. I can't really plan too much for the future when I don't know how long my stay in this nebulous present will be, so I just float along in the todays.

kml #2922126 08/04/21 04:29 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,913
Likes: 316
K
kml Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
K
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,913
Likes: 316
Well CMM finally had one day where his nausea was controllable and he kept down his dinner last night, thank god. He gets bloodwork done today and we see his oncologist Friday. Here's hoping his bone marrow is holding up ok with this new chemo drug.

kml #2922137 08/05/21 05:11 AM
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 4,627
Likes: 71
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 4,627
Likes: 71
kml, a surprise share popped up from a Facebook friend--"The vaccinated ARE the delta strain." I don't get it?! Besides vaxing my family, wearing a mask, social distancing AND not being ashamed to say so I've been neutral as to how others behave. It's gotten so political.

REALLY glad CMM was able to enjoy dinner! It's those things that really matter.

Page 5 of 10 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 9 10

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard