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A,

It helps to come here and type out what you want to say. Someone can usually respond right away why it’s a bad idea.

Pursuit “reaching out” is the number one enemy of DB.

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It really does. Its why I came on here and asked about it. I really wanted to reply back to his message and I almost did, but I know I need to not reoly at all if not just take a long time to. So I came on here and asked for strategies instead. I'm at work so even when I get the urge today ive decided I will get out DR and read at least one page out of it instead of replying to him

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Originally Posted by Artemis1
It really does. Its why I came on here and asked about it. I really wanted to reply back to his message and I almost did, but I know I need to not reoly at all if not just take a long time to. So I came on here and asked for strategies instead. I'm at work so even when I get the urge today ive decided I will get out DR and read at least one page out of it instead of replying to him


Here are how you should be dealing with his messages:

Do not respond to messages that are informational. Only respond to direct questions. But then do it in your own time (not right away). And in as few words as possible. Yes or no questions get yes or no answers.

You cannot be mysterious by being at his beck and call.


M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018
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Thank you for that response. And OMG guys its working. I replied back to my H just saying "Thanks for letting me know" and he sent another message and I havent responded for about 2 hours, firat was 7. And my H just sent me "I miss you" he hasnt said that to me since this whole thing started about 2 months ago!

Help me please! I dont know how I should respond, I dont want to screw it up. Obviously I'm excited by this but I dont want to be overly excited to him and I'm not sure how I should respond to this so advice please! Also side note we should both be home in about 5 hours as I need to go home and I know he will be there in case rhats relevant

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Ok. “ I miss you. Means nothing other then he’s having separation anxiety.

You don’t respond at all.

If he is on the fence it’s very crucial you don’t cave. As soon as you give him what he’s looking for he will run in the other direction.

Stay strong you are doing well!

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Don’t be there when he gets home.

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On a side note I like to kick your husband in the nuts lol. He’s acting like another name for a cat.

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I can stay out a bit later tonight but I have to be home lile an hour after hed get there because I work at 4am tomorrow and need stuff so I'm sure he will bring it up when I'm there so I'm not sure how to respond to him when that happens.

And okay I'm not going to reply to his message at least. Thats what I'm trying to learn about. And trust me I want to kick him in the nuts as well with this whole process lol

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LH is right. Don’t respond.

He just wants to keep you firmly in place as plan B, it’s manipulation.

One minute he wants a divorce so you back off, and now he misses you? Nope not good enough.

If you want him back, AND loyal, you will basically have to have him begging you for another chance. Anything less than that, and he will repeat his behavior as soon as you start to cave.

Trust in the process. Do not cave.

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Originally Posted by Artemis
I'm sure he will bring it up when I'm there so I'm not sure how to respond to him when that happens.

Listen and validate? Are there any particular lines you're worried about responding to?

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