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Originally Posted by MrBrside
Our date was roughly 1st week in October 2020. On chatting to her, i found out she has kicked her current husband ( so seperated ) out on something like the 18th September 2020!!! - Yes - She was out dating weeks after seperating.

Omigosh! We need a new color for that flag that's redder than red.



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Originally Posted by MrBrside
Originally Posted by CWarrior

I'm curious--I'd see this as a yellow "caution" flag. 3 failed marriages tell me she made vows too quickly and learned from her mistakes too slowly. But, if this were 5+ years ago, and she could articulate what she'd done to change, she might be okay. Admittedly, people tell me I'm too slow to call a flag red, so I ask why 3 failed marriages potentially due to abuse is an absolute dealbreaker for you out of curiosity.



Fair question, but i think the biggest mistake a LBS spouse makes is to ignore the flags, if the lady is pretty / gorgeous / flirty / interested etc.. She was all of those.

Our date was roughly 1st week in October 2020.

On chatting to her, i found out she has kicked her current husband ( so seperated ) out on something like the 18th September 2020!!! - Yes - She was out dating weeks after seperating.

Very Broken IMO - hence, nice to meet you, i'll ge the bill.

I have run into this with the explanation that the marriage has been dead for years.


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“Don't chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people - the ones who really belong in your life - will come to you and stay.”- Will Smith
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I have always just though butterflies are super pretty . They have always been my thing. No special meaning. They just always managed to make me smile when I saw them

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Originally Posted by LH19

I have run into this with the explanation that the marriage has been dead for years.


From memory ( i was planning my escape by this point ) i think she had been married to this last husband for 10 months - just before covid hit !!!! - Run Run Run


Previous username - Helpme123.. A name chosen at a desperate time..

Now Mr Brightside.. coming out of my cage, and doing just fine.
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I went out on a date with a woman who was married 3 times, engaged 2 other times and her last husband killed himself in front of her because she cheated on him. Good thing my friend knew her!


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“Don't chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people - the ones who really belong in your life - will come to you and stay.”- Will Smith
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Getting back to the series. I know women who have been single for many, many years who would give their right arm to be married a Cooper. I also know women who have been married for many years who would give their right arm for Brad. People in general want what they don't have mainly because they are not happy with themselves and they think what's missing will make them happy. Such is life.


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“Don't chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people - the ones who really belong in your life - will come to you and stay.”- Will Smith
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I haven't watched this one, but from your description it seems like it's more about hypergamy and an 'alpha widow' pining for her long lost ex rather than a WW in crisis?

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Nah she’s definitely wayward!


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Watching episode 1....

Guy is a catch, not perfect, but mostly doing all the right things.

WW had too much experience and variety in her past which clouded her married life. If I recall she refers to him as "straight laced."

While Cooper is living in the present, his WW is living in the past and comparing that life with the one she is quickly becoming dissatisfied with now.

This mindset, if not quickly and properly dealt with, becomes a ski slope with only one outcome at the end.


Last edited by Drh2001; 07/05/21 03:31 AM.
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I finished this last night.

Great shout LH.

My take..

Cooper probably didn't ask the right questions / ignored the red flags early on.

As Drh2001 says, Billie is living in the past.

The show did a great job of showing that 85% can be perfect, but it doesnt matter.

Once the emotion kicks in, any logic to that thought is gone.

So many LBS think everything was fine.. It only has to be a small amount of resementment / frustration on the part of the WW, along with timings and wham.... Full scale WW.

Hence for any LBS, realise that its not you - and there is NOTHING you can do to stop that emotional train wreck. Look at the last 3 minutes of the series !

I think the other thing the LBS spouse needs to take from this is how their emotions are sideways... Look what Cooper nearly lost - because his usual persona went sideways when he started to act on emotion...Its sooo important for the LBS to tty and put their emotions to the side.

How many times have we seen certain LBS give others advice, yet they dont follow it themselves - so easy to have an opinion / give advice when you are detached from that situation - different ball game when it involves them - Hence why detachment and breaking away from emotion is key.


Previous username - Helpme123.. A name chosen at a desperate time..

Now Mr Brightside.. coming out of my cage, and doing just fine.
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