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A Message from Michele
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Originally Posted by MrBrside
Great shout LH.

I think it's a must watch for all LBS and fits perfectly into the script.
Originally Posted by MrBrside
Cooper probably didn't ask the right questions / ignored the red flags early on.

This is a great point. He did not know her sexual history and in the end it is what cost him.
Originally Posted by MrBrside
As Drh2001 says, Billie is living in the past.

Yep and most WWs are dealing with depression.
Originally Posted by MrBrside
The show did a great job of showing that 85% can be perfect, but it doesnt matter.

This is the part that literally had me shaking my head.
Originally Posted by MrBrside
Once the emotion kicks in, any logic to that thought is gone.

Yep she can't see that the sex will fade and there is a good chance Brad will eventually trade her in for a younger version. Cooper will rebound and find a woman that will appreciate what he has to offer. Unfortunately, the kids will spend their rest of their lives bouncing from house to house including the holidays. But hey at least Billie got her freak on lol.
Originally Posted by MrBrside
So many LBS think everything was fine.. It only has to be a small amount of resentment / frustration on the part of the WW, along with timings and wham.... Full scale WW.

She couldn't get to his apartment fast enough.
Originally Posted by MrBrside
Hence for any LBS, realise that its not you - and there is NOTHING you can do to stop that emotional train wreck. Look at the last 3 minutes of the series !

Originally Posted by MrBrside
I think the other thing the LBS spouse needs to take from this is how their emotions are sideways... Look what Cooper nearly lost - because his usual persona went sideways when he started to act on emotion...Its sooo important for the LBS to tty and put their emotions to the side.

Ahhh "The illusion of action" I need to do something to win her back. I wonder what would have happened if he immediately boxed all her $hit up and put it in the garage. He let her back in too easy. This NEVER works!
Originally Posted by MrBrside
How many times have we seen certain LBS give others advice, yet they dont follow it themselves - so easy to have an opinion / give advice when you are detached from that situation - different ball game when it involves them - Hence why detachment and breaking away from emotion is key.

Be attached to your children. Everybody else has to earn a place in your life.


M:51 W:46
T:22 M:16
S:15 D:11

“Don't chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people - the ones who really belong in your life - will come to you and stay.”- Will Smith
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Quote

Yep and most WWs are dealing with depression.


I would actually add insecurities to this as well.

Quote

Ahhh "The illusion of action" I need to do something to win her back. I wonder what would have happened if he immediately boxed all her $hit up and put it in the garage. He let her back in too easy. This NEVER works!


I think this is tell tale of 99% of the LBS. Many don't find this site until after the event.
I didnt find it for a long time.
I'd like to say i wish i knew what i knew now much earlier.

The truth is, i don't - As i prefer my life with WW lol smile

Last edited by MrBrside; 07/05/21 01:27 PM.

Previous username - Helpme123.. A name chosen at a desperate time..

Now Mr Brightside.. coming out of my cage, and doing just fine.
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Originally Posted by MrBrside
I finished this last night.

Great shout LH.

My take..

Cooper probably didn't ask the right questions / ignored the red flags early on.

As Drh2001 says, Billie is living in the past.

The show did a great job of showing that 85% can be perfect, but it doesnt matter.

Once the emotion kicks in, any logic to that thought is gone.

So many LBS think everything was fine.. It only has to be a small amount of resementment / frustration on the part of the WW, along with timings and wham.... Full scale WW.

Hence for any LBS, realise that its not you - and there is NOTHING you can do to stop that emotional train wreck. Look at the last 3 minutes of the series !

I think the other thing the LBS spouse needs to take from this is how their emotions are sideways... Look what Cooper nearly lost - because his usual persona went sideways when he started to act on emotion...Its sooo important for the LBS to tty and put their emotions to the side.

How many times have we seen certain LBS give others advice, yet they dont follow it themselves - so easy to have an opinion / give advice when you are detached from that situation - different ball game when it involves them - Hence why detachment and breaking away from emotion is key.




Interesting thoughts MrBrside.

My WW recently said to me "people don't leave happy marriages".

Um, yes they do. It only takes one partner to have, as you mentioned "a small amount of resentment" or a blast from the past to kickstart their emotions and then it becomes something that feeds on itself.

All of this happens with Billie while she is not thinking about her two little ones, she is only thinking about herself.

The children don't even enter her thoughts till her son calls her on the phone when she's in the city saying he misses her.

Last edited by Drh2001; 07/05/21 10:55 PM.
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Originally Posted by Drh2001
My WW recently said to me "people don't leave happy marriages".


I actually agree with her Doc, if the M is happy I don't think they blow up. This is not me defending the actions of waywards by any means.

Originally Posted by Drh2001
All of this happens with Billie while she is not thinking about her two little ones, she is only thinking about herself.

The children don't even enter her thoughts till her son calls her on the phone when she's in the city saying he misses her.


Agreed, she is uber selfish. Does not consider her children at all, what sort of example she is setting. There is a scene in the first ep at the train station where she runs into the other mum and her child. I think this scene was to show that her focus wasn't where it should have been.


Me: 39 W:41
T: 14 M: 11
S: 5

BD & OM Jun 2020
W moves out Aug 2020

"What happened happened, and couldn't have happened any other way...because it didn't"
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Originally Posted by OnlyBent
Originally Posted by Drh2001
My WW recently said to me "people don't leave happy marriages".


I actually agree with her Doc, if the M is happy I don't think they blow up. This is not me defending the actions of waywards by any means.

Originally Posted by Drh2001
All of this happens with Billie while she is not thinking about her two little ones, she is only thinking about herself.

The children don't even enter her thoughts till her son calls her on the phone when she's in the city saying he misses her.


Agreed, she is uber selfish. Does not consider her children at all, what sort of example she is setting. There is a scene in the first ep at the train station where she runs into the other mum and her child. I think this scene was to show that her focus wasn't where it should have been.



Hey, no problem. I think what I meant to clarfiy is a marriage can "look" happy but one partner fakes it or they're happy until someone comes along, an ex from the past, and suddenly they can't resist temptation. I often wondered why even pastors who have a happy family and kids cheat on their wives.


Watching Ep 4 and Billie is becoming obsessed with Brad. It has become an addiction even though she has flashbacks to him acting out.

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Originally Posted by Drh2001
Hey, no problem. I think what I meant to clarfiy is a marriage can "look" happy but one partner fakes it or they're happy until someone comes along, an ex from the past, and suddenly they can't resist temptation. I often wondered why even pastors who have a happy family and kids cheat on their wives.


I'm with you, really a reflection of poor communication. My STBXW loved to tell me how poor a communicator I was, and she was right. But for her to be unhappy for at least 2 years (although she is now claiming she was never happy) and not communicate that and what she needed from me is a bit of pot kettle black.


Me: 39 W:41
T: 14 M: 11
S: 5

BD & OM Jun 2020
W moves out Aug 2020

"What happened happened, and couldn't have happened any other way...because it didn't"
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My WW recently said to me "people don't leave happy marriages".

Um, yes they do. It only takes one partner to have, as you mentioned "a small amount of resentment" or a blast from the past to kickstart their emotions and then it becomes something that feeds on itself.

All of this happens with Billie while she is not thinking about her two little ones, she is only thinking about herself.

The children don't even enter her thoughts till her son calls her on the phone when she's in the city saying he misses her.


People definetly cheat in happy marriages.

The 85% in this is a great example. Billie has a near perfect life, but wants 100% perfect.

She also wanted her cake and to eat it - Look at the last 3 minutes - It comes over as things are great at the end.. Then she shows her WW mindset - she wants 100% ! - selfish.

I think it also highlights how communucation is key. Billie kept her past secret, but Cooper wasnt exactly a prude. Had she communicated this years before, well - Would it have changed... I dont think so. Its about the guy, not just the sex.

Do people leave happy marriages?.. Most LBS have seen how the WW will rewrite the history anyway, so who really knows if it was happy relationship.. By the time they hit WW stage, they have changed the past anyway.

A cheater will rewrite history to escape accountability

I'll put it out here now, that the physical side with my long term partner prior to my WW was in a different league to the physical relationship that myself and WW had. Sex with WW wasnt bad, but i'd had 3 years of the most amazing Brad and Billie sex with my ex prior to the WW.

Did my previous ex cross my mind in my 8 years with the WW.. very occasionally - Did i ever reach out to that past ex, or ever contemplate cheating on my WW.. Never. Not once, and i never would have. My relationship with my WW wasnt 100% - Hell it was probably closer to 70% happyness, but i would have never looked elsewhere.

Boundaries and mindsets. There are consequnces to stupid decissions like cheating.

Last edited by MrBrside; 07/06/21 11:16 AM.

Previous username - Helpme123.. A name chosen at a desperate time..

Now Mr Brightside.. coming out of my cage, and doing just fine.
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Watching Ep 5...

Cooper confronts Billie about Brad after reading her journal.

When a cheater-to-be is confronted, this is where the denial, lies and justification really start to kick in.

"Brad is dating Sasha. He means nothing to me."


Maybe Billie doesn't want to believe Brad means something to her. Cooper doesn't believe her because he read her journal.

Cognitive dissonance at its best.






Last edited by Drh2001; 07/06/21 07:59 PM.
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Originally Posted by MrBrside
Quote

My WW recently said to me "people don't leave happy marriages".

Um, yes they do. It only takes one partner to have, as you mentioned "a small amount of resentment" or a blast from the past to kickstart their emotions and then it becomes something that feeds on itself.

All of this happens with Billie while she is not thinking about her two little ones, she is only thinking about herself.

The children don't even enter her thoughts till her son calls her on the phone when she's in the city saying he misses her.


People definetly cheat in happy marriages.

The 85% in this is a great example. Billie has a near perfect life, but wants 100% perfect.

She also wanted her cake and to eat it - Look at the last 3 minutes - It comes over as things are great at the end.. Then she shows her WW mindset - she wants 100% ! - selfish.

I think it also highlights how communucation is key. Billie kept her past secret, but Cooper wasnt exactly a prude. Had she communicated this years before, well - Would it have changed... I dont think so. Its about the guy, not just the sex.

Do people leave happy marriages?.. Most LBS have seen how the WW will rewrite the history anyway, so who really knows if it was happy relationship.. By the time they hit WW stage, they have changed the past anyway.

A cheater will rewrite history to escape accountability

I'll put it out here now, that the physical side with my long term partner prior to my WW was in a different league to the physical relationship that myself and WW had. Sex with WW wasnt bad, but i'd had 3 years of the most amazing Brad and Billie sex with my ex prior to the WW.

Did my previous ex cross my mind in my 8 years with the WW.. very occasionally - Did i ever reach out to that past ex, or ever contemplate cheating on my WW.. Never. Not once, and i never would have. My relationship with my WW wasnt 100% - Hell it was probably closer to 70% happyness, but i would have never looked elsewhere.

Boundaries and mindsets. There are consequnces to stupid decissions like cheating.



Interesting thoughts. They do rewrite history because it lessens or eliminates the guilt.

My WW told my girls recently that she has paid the price for leaving me for OM in terms of how often she sees our children. When she first separated from me, she texted me "I am sorry I seem to have broken things but I know there is a price to be paid."

We have 50/50 custody but my eldest only goes there one day a week. She doesn't like OM.

Truth is you can't put a dollar value on the consequences of adultery. It leaves a trail of shattered glass going through generations not yet born. My eldest kid sees her once a week - once a week! but OM's children get 100% mommy time. How is that not messed up?



Last edited by Drh2001; 07/06/21 08:07 PM.
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I hate to say it, but this show will be brining a lot of LBS to this site. The traffic will start to pick up.

The ending threw me off. I wasn't expecting it to go that far. It kinda made no sense in my eyes. She worked hard to shift her mind set the entire series and than the last few minutes, she said F it. Ok!

But, it shows, that people are uber selfish, she didn't want to give up her husband or Brad. She wanted them both. But what's also crazy, is both men were being played by Billie. They both were willing to give her up to the other man, to make her happy. Both men fought for her and she did what she wanted to do, no matter what. And her kids be dam.

Lastly, they made the entire, reason for her unhappiness, about not being satisfied sexually, that her husband wasn't sexual enough, than they put her and Cooper in multiple situations, where he was willing to go the extra mile sexually, but it was never good enough. Instead of her allowing Coop to leave, she wanted the married life, for her own portrayal.
So, the entire time, she wanted to be with Brad, not because, he was a better man, but because he gave her better memories dealing with sex.

I think a lot from the LBS perspective were accurate. I think at first Billie was Wayward, but the last episode she knew what she was doing and that can't be forgiven.

Also, Coop didn't believe a word she told him, he put that tracker on her a##. LOL


M:37 W:37
T:11 M:10
S17, S13, S10, S4
BD:06/28/17
OM confirmed 07/20/17
Recon the M 10/29/17
Working hard:2gether

Onward and forward

This process is not a sprint it's a marathon! Patience, Patience, Patience.
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