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Originally Posted by wayfarer
OB!!! I'm so happy to hear you're cheering for my deer!!!! The city is hopping here right now. Our Bucks are doing so well and our Brewers are #1 in the division right now. Granted baseball is a 162 games and it's only June but I have a good feeling smile


Fellow Bucks and Brewers fan here. I'm assuming a Packers fan as well? Brewers look solid. The Greek Freak's injury is tough. It looked like the Bucks were going to get that title.

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Of course I'm a Packers fan!! I had no idea any one was even near me on here. Yeah I'm a little worried about Giannis but I'm hoping as much as we rely on him we're a sum of our parts and we can make it. MRI results should be coming some time today fingers crossed it's nothing really terrible. We/he doesn't' need an ACL/MCL/LCL/PCL issue.

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Originally Posted by harvey
I could have wrote this. It's a balancing act between taking too much blame and not enough blame. At DB I would have done anything to keep the marriage in tact, but it was too late. In retrospect I'm a good guy, good friend, good worker, etc. However, I wasn't a good husband in the ways my XW needed me to be. On the other hand she didn't communicate her unhappiness to me in a productive way and she chose to leave. It is what it is though. I can't do anything about it--except learn from my mistakes.


And I could have written this Harvey. Control the controllables, good stuff mate.


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BD & OM Jun 2020
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Originally Posted by wayfarer
OB!!! I'm so happy to hear you're cheering for my deer!!!! The city is hopping here right now. Our Bucks are doing so well and our Brewers are #1 in the division right now. Granted baseball is a 162 games and it's only June but I have a good feeling smile


I'm from Aus, so I have always chosen my teams by who I went to see play first. My bro lives in Denver so I'm a bit of a Nuggets fan. Not much into baseball, but the best game I went to was a Royals game about 6-7 years ago when they went on a big winning streak, I loved the experience. A guy sitting next to me had been going to games for about 30 years and never caught a foul ball. Well guess what happens, on gets hit and lands at our feet that night. The guy was so sweet and offered it to me because I was there all the way from Oz. I said no way, that ball is yours my friend. Only NFL game I've been to is the Seahawks, so they're kinda my team when I watch.

But of the last 4, I like the Bucks. I'm actually a bit of a Kris Middleton fan, just like the no nonsense way he goes about it. Being from Aus, I don't really like the show-off, trash talking culture of American sports.

Originally Posted by wayfarer
With change comes growth. And you have the kind of head on your shoulders that I'm sure you're going to come out the other side of this a whole, happy, healthy man, and a better one at that. That choosing to change thing is such a big part of the next steps in your life.


Thanks for the kind words WF.

Last edited by OnlyBent; 07/01/21 12:11 AM.

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Proud DB moment:

STBXW and I, early last year, lent my brother and his W a large chunk of money to help them buy a house which they are paying back over 5 years. As part of our settlement, that money will be paid back to her via me (as she no longer wants any connection to my brother and his W). I sent her an email detailing the outstanding loan, the size and frequency of the payments and when the last payment date was. She replied asking for something more formal as "the 3 of us could just decide to stop paying her" anytime we liked. I replied saying that I would be willing to sign something more formal if she would like to prepare it.

Her response was that it makes her nervous just trusting me and what if something happens that really p!sses me off and I decide to stop paying her. That it is the only money she has (its about 10% of what she has) and that she doesn't have large earning capacity (she makes double what I do).

Here's what pre-DB me would have said:

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I have never given you a reason not to trust me for the last 14 years, so not sure why you would question my integrity now. I'm also not sure what more you could do to p!ss me off besides compulsively lie to me, invite men to our home when I was away for work, spread false rumours about me, say hurtful things to people about me that you hardly knew, run around having sex behind my back and accuse me of intending to take custody of our S and our money and then threaten to do the same to me. If you mean intending to introduce our S to OM, move in with OM, marry OM as things that could further p!ss me off, then rest assured I have assumed that these are foregone conclusions. I have no interest in your money and would like to rid my life of as much to do with you as possible.


BUT, I didn't say that, I took the time to control my emotion and here is what I did send:

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I understand that this is a significant amount of money and that any risk to it would make you feel nervous. I can assure you that I have every intention of abiding by the agreement and would also understand if you would like me to sign something more formal that you feel would provide you with more protection.


Obviously I understand that if I were further detached, I wouldn't even have felt the need to think the first message, but hey take the wins where they come. Third week of lockdown where I am, finding plenty to fill my time, very grateful that we are getting warm winter weather, sunny and around 20 Celsius. Big win for the Aussies over the "Dream" team in the Olympic prelims...


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Nice response! whistle whistle


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
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OB,

My exH and I have been physically separate for almost 10 years (it'll be 10 later this year, and that's not counting the 2 years of sleeping in separate bedrooms prior), D'd almost 9, and I still have to think about what I say instead of a knee jerk response. Not because I'm particularly attached but because exH has a way of getting under my skin very few people in this world do. He grew up in a very different lifestyle than I had and his sheer level of entitlement and indignation when he or his ego are not being catered to would make a lot of people go berserk even if they were complete strangers. I've forgiven him. I've forgiven myself. We only speak about matter of D18 if I can help it. But trust me what I think and what I say are very often not on the same page. When ever you can take the high road, even if you hi-five yourself for taking it afterward is W regardless of attachment/detachment.

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OnlyBent, props--great job processing and coming up with a solid response!



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OB my Bucks did it!!!!! I got like no sleep last night. That is all wink

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I watched the game yesterday, how good! Who would have thought that they'd win it on finally making their free throws.


Me: 40 W:41
T: 14 M: 11
S: 5

BD & OM Jun 2020
W moves out Aug 2020

"What happened happened, and couldn't have happened any other way...because it didn't"
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